Can your figure this out? (Edition 2)

In edition 1 of "Can you figure this out" (blog published in November 2008), I had posted 7 questions & many of you had written to me how enjoyable and perplexing those queries were. Here is some more food for thought.

(1) Why has a coconut been given the pride of place in Hindu rituals? It is in fact called "shreephal" - but do you know why a coconut has been awarded this numero uno status. Many years ago (when human civilization had hardly progressed) it was common practice to offer "human sacrifice" to propitiate GOD who was offered an "abhishek" of blood from the victim. Later, a coconut was chosen to replace this reprehensible ritual. It resembled a human skull (hair, eyes, hard exterior) which when smashed gave milk that was now used to offer the abhishek. So remember, everytime you offer a coconut in a temple you are symbolically offering a "human sacrifice". Why not take a bunch of grapes or some bananas next time? I am not sure however if that would be looked at kindly by others.

(2) Why are cases of rebirth never reported from Muslim or Buddhist families? How come all "reported" cases of someone remembering things from their previous birth are from amongst Hindus? It is another matter that none of these cases have ever been proved genuine. Hindus are virtually brainwashed right from childhood that this is what happens & the form that you take in the next birth is a reward (or punishment) of the acts that you committed in the previous birth. The Muslims or Buddhists do not believe that this happens and hence there are never any cases of "rebirth" reported from these communities. See the kind of games our mind can play on us.

(3) Why are Hindu priests who perform rituals after death not allowed to perform other "auspicious" rituals? The pecking order is clear - the former are at a lower heirarchy & are not allowed to perform marriages, for example. I can understand "death" as an inauspicious event but how can the priest become ineligible? Why create such a "caste system" even amongst Brahmins? I think it is a clear case of "commercially preserving ones turf" by the "auspicious" segment. The actual reasons given (they can handle only "unclean" events) are pure hog wash।

(4) Why are there no Hindu rituals for men to get the same wife in future "births"? While there are many for women (करवा चौथ for example) there is no similar ritual for men. Does this mean that the men are actually not very keen to have the same partners in the next birth? A friend once pointed out the bizarre situation that this can theoretically lead to. Imagine a devout Hindu wife who lived a pious life and prayed for the same husband in the next birth. Her husband however was a scoundrel in this birth itself & neither prayed nor wanted the same partner in the next birth. Lets say the husband gets re - born as a donkey ( punishment) while the lady is re-born again as a lady (getting re-born as a human is considered a reward for having lived a good life earlier). Now since the lady had prayed to marry the same husband, she has to marry the donkey.

(5) How does one explain instances of sages eating beef in Hindu mythology? In mythological stories (which are otherwise quoted extensively) there are instances of sages eating and offering non vegetarian food including beef, to their guests. I have never heard this aspect being mentioned or debated.

(6) Why did GODs have to marry in order to beget children? This never ceases to puzzle me. If GODs created human beings, why did they have to themselves marry in order to beget children. This idea of marriage is so "earthly" and "human" that I suspect that it is human beings who have created GODs.

(7) Why do we worship "shiva - linga" (शिव लिंग ) ? Why was it ordained that such a private part of the anatomy be worshipped? In spite of being a conservative community, how could we have permitted devotees, especially our womenfolk, to worship this? So explicit is the idol in temples that I fail to see any symbolism in it - even if there is one. Mythological stories explaining this are so pornographic that they cannot be recounted except in an X-rated environment.

Maximize Happiness

Good business schools have now realised that it is not enough to train managers on how to maximize wealth. Successful persons need to possess skills to maximize happiness - their own and of those around them. 

We must first differentiate between happiness and joy (or pleasure). On a warm summer day, drinking a glass of cold lemon juice gives you great pleasure - your favourite perfume gives you great joy - even scratching a bodily itch gives you immense pleasure. Pleasure is thus  momentary and sensory. Happiness, on the other hand, is "mental" and therefore infinitely more powerful. Can you measure your happiness at having stood first in a tough examination or having beaten your traditional rivals in a sport or for that matter when your children surpass your own achievements?

Are human beings happier today than what they were, say, fifty years ago? I am not sure about the answer. All the technological progress that we have achieved may not have necessarily contributed to increasing our happiness quotient. How does one then go about maximizing happiness??

(1) Identify what makes you happy!

This is a tough one! I have met very few people who are clear in their minds about what will make them happy. Since they are blissfully unclear about their objectives, they live a perennially unhappy life. Take a piece of paper and start writing what will make you happy. Don't generate "motherhood is good" type of statements & remember, a legitimate GOAL is specific, quantifiable, measurable, "achievable and challenging" (this last is not a contradiction). 

(2) Compete against yourself !

A very interesting study conducted at Harvard Business School demonstrated that people are happier when their wealth is more than their compatriots. In this study  respondents were asked to choose between the following two situations: [a] You get an annual salary of $ 1,00,000 while your compatriot gets $ 75,000; [b] You get an annual salary of $ 1,50,000 while your compatriot gets $ 1,75,000. Though the salary was more in the second case, respondents overwhelmingly preferred the first alternative thereby demonstrating that it is relative prosperity (and not absolute prosperity) that is perceived to be important. This could indeed turn out to be a major cause of un - happiness. Why not compete with oneself to constantly improve instead of grieving over someone elses' better performance?

(3) Don't expect everyone to agree with you!

Most of us equate disagreement with enmity in spite of knowing that intelligent people rarely agree on anything (because all have their own perspective and the necessary intellectual firepower to put it across). So if disagreement is going to make you unhappy you have yourself to blame. By all means try and convince the other person about your point of view but if he wants to remain where he is, let him be - discuss something else.

(4) Live your life according to your own beliefs!

After achieving financial independence, intellectual independence must follow. How long are you going to live your own life according to what someone else tells you? Life is anyway too short for you to afford this luxury. Implement your beliefs without inconveniencing others & be happy at finally having become responsible for ones own actions.

(5) Live in the PRESENT (here & now)!

The past is dead & gone - it needs to be peeped into only to learn from the mistakes that we committed. Yes go ahead and DREAM about the future but you can't enjoy it until someday it becomes your 'present'. Only "TODAY" is capable of giving you the maximum happiness - so concentrate on it. Don't postpone enjoyment - try and experience it today.

(6) Increase the number of sources of your happiness!

Gardening, singing, playing an instrument, exercising, meditating, having a healthy sexual life, counseling, making friends, watching 20/20, listening to Jagjit Singh... are all what I call sources of happiness. More the sources, more will be the happiness.

(7) Limit your desires!

All of us get caught in that vicious circle of : Motor cycle - Maruti 800 - Accent - Skoda - Mercedes - Cessna and so on....If you are buying these things to give you happiness, you will soon realise that it is short lived. I agree to the wag who said that luxury must be experienced once to realise how un necessary it really is... To put it more scientifically, incremental benefits [as you climb up this value chain of materialism] are not at all worthwhile for the incremental cost that you have to shell out. Limiting desires judiciously (without under performing) is therefore one of the most effective ways of increasing your happiness quotient.

(8) Forget & Forgive!

In any situation remember to do your best and forget the rest. Forgiving your opponents who played dirty may not make you a winner but it would surely make you happier. Jealousy and prolonged anger have long ago been identified by psychologists as agents of death.

(9) Keep your curiosity alive & kicking!

People who vigorously retain the childlike habit of asking questions in order to seek answers about why things happen the way they do, are happy on two counts (a) because they have a sense of achievement when they get the answer; and (b) this process keeps them from ageing.

(10) Shun HYPOCRISY!

We are a nation high on hypocrisy. We will worship godesses but burn brides for dowry. We will keep our courtyard clean but dump the garbage in the neighbours compound when no one is looking. We will demand respect but won't give it so easily. Hypocrisy leads to unhappiness because in his heart the perpetrator knows that he is a sham.

(11) Spend a lot of time with people younger than you!

Their happiness rubs off on you. It is indeed a zero cost way of increasing your happiness.

(12) Give! Give! Give!

Give a smile, advice, cheer, money, help or just company. This is an age old puzzle. Giving normally reduces your assets but giving away happiness actually increases your own inventory - try it out...

Here's wishing you tons and tons of happiness!!