Clear FUNDAS.... A warm welcome from Prakash Shesh

Dissection of last fortnights' Delicious news

2011-10-13T23:24:00.000+05:30

[1] Reebok fined for misleading butt-enhancers

The famous shoe manufacturer had to dish out 25 million US dollars (125 crore Rupees) for falsely claiming that a particular model of theirs helped the wearer develop a perfect posterior. The model was appropriately called "Easy Tone" (was it expected to make the butts be "easy" on the eyes of the beholder?). Reebok, while paying the penalty was defiant: It said, "Settling the fine does not mean we agree with the allegations - we have received overwhelmingly enthusiastic feedback from thousands of Easy Tone customers". That surely is a perfectly diplomatic half - truth because for them to have agreed to this public humiliation, they must have received overwhelmingly negative feedback from maybe millions of Easy Tone customers.

One fact that emerges from this sordid episode is that perceived beauty - spots on the female anatomy seem to be moving from the front to the back. What else can explain why so many females fell prey to the claims of Easy Tone? The "Miss World" and "Miss Universe" contests will probably make it mandatory for the contestants to now submit in their portfolio, photographs taken from behind. All cricket crazy Indians have always known how even male players from West Indies are gifted in this department - just look at a batsman taking stance to receive the next ball and you will know what I mean. When last heard, Reebok was collecting statistics about the widespread use of an earlier version of the Easy Tone model sold in these island nations to butt-ress their claim that these shoes can indeed make the wearer butt-ilicious. Meanwhile Bollywood siren Vidya Balan expressed surprise about why it was necessary to buy an expensive pair of shoes (making dubious claims) when comfortable padding was available at a fraction of the cost - she should know since she is reported to have used it while essaying the role of Silk Smitha.

The Indian statistical association confirmed that according to the Placebo effect a reasonably high success rate of 20% can anyway be achieved (in enhancing posteriors) by just intently staring at Jenifer Lopez's well endowed assets in a photograph (from behind of course) - they opined that this method was so much better for Indians who could not afford Easy Tone shoes. The Communist Party of India condemned this capitalist exercise of Reebok pandering to rich & well rounded butts when most Indians had to go around with concave (worse than flat) bellies.

[2] Divorcees can retain surnames

Under Article 21, it has now been confirmed that the wife has a fundamental right to use her post marriage name / surname, even after divorce. Many Indian women use joint surnames after marriage - so a Nilima Deshpande after marriage to a "Deshmukh" becomes Nilima Deshpande-Deshmukh. Now imagine she gets a divorce and retains her married surname and then marries a "Pathak". Does she now become Nilima Deshpande-Deshmukh-Pathak? What happens in South India where there is no surname. Does Vyjantimala Govindrajan after divorce and marriage to Veerraghavan become VGV. Thank God Elizabeth Taylor was not born in India - after six marriages, her name would have been .... well you get the point ...In India it is popular to change the first name of the wife so Nilima Deshpande could become Sujata Deshpande-Deshmukh and after the divorce maybe Rakhi Deshpande-Deshmukh-Pathak. I think this is an excellent system to completely cover up your earlier identity. I have always been wanting to know if the law allows a husband to acquire the surname of his wife??

[3] Aga Khan the spiritual leader of Ismaili Muslims pays divorce settlement of US$ 80 million (400 crore Rs)

It has always surprised me why Aga Khan has never married any woman from amongst his own sect - the above mentioned divorce was with a German Princess and it was his second divorce. I fail to see any spirituality in all this - do you??

[4] Mexico about to create law that allows 2-years contract marriages.

Increased divorce rates are apparently forcing lawmakers to create these short term contract marriages. The couple needs to look ahead only for those two years and then decide if the contract should be renewed. I am sure there would be a notice period built into these contracts so that if one of the partners locates another soul-mate (what a parody of the word) before the current contract expires and is not patient enough to wait, then he or she could pay off the current partner in lieu of the early termination of the contract. Joining bonuses from the new partner would automatically follow. I guess Mexican HR consultants now have new business opportunities. Next on the agenda is probably a limited period contract between parents and their children. Are we in India going to continue with our super long term contracts for सात जन्म (seven rebirths)?

Interesting conversations

2011-08-21T00:38:00.012+05:30

I am sure all of us have taken part or heard conversations between believers (B) and non believers (NB). I am presenting to you different types of conversations that usually take place.

The short one

B: Do you know that P = Q ?

NB: Can you prove it?

B: Why don't you disprove it?

NB: But you said it was true, so prove it!

B: Ha ha - prove it wrong friend or else accept that it is true

The classic one

B: I think X = Y

NB: But we have absolutely no explanation or evidence to support this

B: It has been divinely ordained

NB: But even in a court of law, they require evidence

B: Friends, we are talking about something much much above these trivial institutions.

How dare you compare HIS wisdom with that of a mere judge in a court of law

The most popular one

B: Don't you feel the presence of the Almighty, all around you??

NB: I tried my best but I really do not experience anything out of normal.

B: There must be something wrong with you. Only those who have true faith & surrender to the lord are able to feel HIS presence.

About omnipotence

B: Don't you know that GOD is omnipotent and infinitely powerful?

NB: Oh! Does that mean GOD has decided what is going to happen in your future?

B: Of course! We live only according to HIS will.

NB: But if he has decided your future, this means that he cannot change it - so how can you call

HIM infinitely powerful?

B: No HE can change it if he wants to

NB: But that means HE is not sure whether HE is going to change it or not.

B: Oh these things are beyond your puny intelligence. Let's talk of something else.

About omnipresence

NB: Where is HE?

B: Oh HE exists everywhere

NB: Then why do you want to go to Tirupati to worship Balaji - you can do so right here in the Balaji temple in our town.

B: No but Tirupati is a more auspicious location

NB: But I thought you just said that HE is everywhere. Then why is his temple at Tirupati more auspicious than at Nagpur?

B: Oh you don't understand what spirituality is all about.

NB: What has this got to do with spirituality?

B: There is no point in talking to an illiterate like you.

About our purpose on earth

NB: Do you think all of us have a pre determined purpose of getting born on earth?

B: Of course! HE has sent us on earth with a specific purpose

NB: What could have been HIS purpose in case of the people who got killed in the tsunami

B: Oh HE works in HIS own mysterious ways.

About prayers

NB: Why do you pray so often?

B: To pay my respects, ask HIM for success and happiness & to reduce my hardships

NB: But HE has already decided to give you those hardships so why will he change HIS mind

now just because you are pleading through your prayers?

B: But I must regularly pay HIM my respects by worshiping HIM?

NB: Does HE demand worship and prayers? And will HE listen to only those who pray?

B: Everyone is equal in HIS eyes.

NB: So why pray? If your intentions are good and you are leading a good moral life, HE is

watching you and will automatically reward you

B: I am not going to continue this pointless discussion.

NB: Ok, how are you sure that HE is listening to your prayers?

B: Oh, he has HIS own ways of letting me know about that.

NB: But then if I pray how will I be sure that my prayers have reached HIM? I need some

advice from you because you have been regularly praying to HIM.

B: You start praying first and you will start receiving HIS signals.

The bizarre one

NB: How does HE decide when two competing devotees want their wishes fulfilled?

B: HE ensures that the more pious one succeeds?

NB: If that is true, how are politicians and their cronies able to corner most government

contracts?

The clincher

NB: Do you really think that HE will look after you?

B : Of course HE will. He is powerful enough to take care of all his creations

NB : If he is really all that powerful, why do we lock temples. Can't HE look after HIMSELF?

Have we created GODs?

2011-05-01T21:37:00.009+05:30

Though it didn’t strike me then, the best definition of GOD that I ever came across was in my sixth class text - book of Moral Science. It challenged the readers to think of any object that came to their mind. It then asked us to find out how that object came into existence. If, for example, you thought of “chair” as the initial object then “wood” would be the answer. The author then asked us to continue this exercise of going backward to find the cause of each effect. Thus ‘wood’ came from the ‘tree’ and the ‘tree’ from the ‘seed’ and so on. It then went on to define GOD as that “effect” which has no “cause” (the uncaused cause). This backward regression argument sounds so incomplete today - if there is indeed an omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient (present everywhere) GOD, there has to be an even more powerful creator of such a GOD. Where is HE or SHE?

Any discussion on GOD usually gets caught in the controversy of whether GOD exists. I am going to skirt that issue because to my mind, it is of no consequence. For the believers, the question is superfluous and for the rest it is a pointless exercise because no one from the other camp is listening. Let us agree that this idea of a powerful CREATOR OF EVERYTHING seems to give solace to many. Like a wag once said, “atheists do not know whom to thank when something good happens to them, inexplicably”.

I have never been able to get cogent answers to some of these mind benders!

Why do GODs have to be married?

In Hindu mythology Vishnu has a Laxmi, Shankar has a Parvati, Ram has a Sita. Now marriages are socio-legal sanctions required by us humans to procreate. Why on earth would GODs require these? “Marrying GODs” is therefore a distinctly "human" idea.

Do GODs require “job descriptions” to manage their subjects?

Bramha creates, Vishnu preserves, Shiva disposes, Ganesha looks after all cerebral matters, Yama is the funeral director and so on and we are further told that they never transgress into the others domain. Don’t you see the human touch to this division of labour? Was it necessary for GOD to have so many assistants (or his own facets) if he was all powerful or is it that a human author created this organizational structure out of his or her own experience of how things are run on earth?

Why are even GODS, male chauvinists?

One can understand humans being male chauvinists but why GODs? Can they be unfair to half their creations (females)? While wives of all GODs are depicted as home-makers, (though they possess tremendous mystical powers) the GODs themselves go out and do the “mans work”. Barring a few exceptions (like Maa Kali) all godesses are made out to possess womanly qualities of love, softness & compassion. Please note that amongst human beings too there are a few exceptions like the Rani Laxmibai of Jhansi who did a mans’ job to achieve martyrdom. The similarity is striking. Someone appears to have used all his imagination and “earthly experience” to probably create GODs and Godesses to resemble the human race.

Why should GODs have their favourite eatables?

Time and again we are told that GODs are ethereal. How can they then have any bodily needs like hunger or sleep (in many temples, the resident GOD sleeps in the afternoon and devotees are denied darshan during those hours)? The system wherein a particular GOD likes a particular eatable seems to have been created with other motives in mind – so clearly “human”. Let us extend the logic a little further - with crores of devotees feeding all GODs so many sweets (as prasad) shouldn't all of them have got diabetes by now?

Why are GODs so fallible?

Hindu mythology is replete with examples of GODs granting a boon to even a villain who chose to pray hard with the sole and evil intention of getting that boon to trouble his fellow beings on earth. Are GODs so gullible that they could not see through the intention of this kind of devotee? Or is it the human authors’ wish to propogate the message that even sinners can pray and expect salvation, which has prompted such a picture to be painted? It seems so stage - managed, like a Hindi film.

The more you think about all this, dear readers, the more you will get convinced that GODs must indeed have been “created” by a human being. Otherwise, why would have so many qualities specific to humans, got attributed to GOD? There is no doubt whatsoever that this is the most popular creation of the human mind – in fact the best to date. The concept would not have survived the test of time, otherwise.

The ultimate "career" for all of us !

2011-04-17T17:12:00.004+05:30

Are we not all "working" towards a position where we may not have to "work" anymore? Don't we dream of a world where students will pass without appearing for any examinations; salaries would be paid to employees without their attending office; managers would rise up the corporate ladder with no accompanying increase in accountability and of the ultimate utopia - a customer accepting whatever you dish out to him (or her) without complaints and giving you repeat sales irrespective of whether your product (or service) achieved whatever it was supposed to.

Don't be startled if I say that I have found a vocation that can give all of us a stranglehold over our customers without so much as lifting the little finger. Like all super jobs, achieving proficiency in this one will require hard work and a re-orientation of your priorities. You will soon realize that it is a small cost to pay. To top it all, we could "enter this profession" irrespective of what we are currently doing !

Once you hook a customer, it is for a lifetime (unless you are horrendously clumsy)

Which other industry will offer you this benefit? You work your backside off first to get a customer and then continue doing that to retain him. Here the customer will be with you for generations (his and yours), unless you are really incompetent.

The customer hardly understands what you "sell" but doesn't seem to mind at all

Won't some of you give your right arm for such customers? It is like giving to a customer in India, an owner's manual written in Arabic, without raising any protest whatsoever.

There is no after sales service here

Do I see a sparkle in your eyes? No warranty period blues here and no annual maintenance contracts, too. The customer keeps on demanding your service, regularly.

There is no recession in this industry

Customers never reduce their budget for this service - never mind the recession. There have in fact been instances when outside hardships and monetary crises increased the demand for these services. In normal times too people happily buy this service. You won't get a better example (coaching classes come a poor second) of perennial demand.

The customer blames himself & never the service provider, if results are not as expected

Which marketing person will not want such customers? Marketing theory, in this case, is made to stand upside down, with sellers having no accountability whatsoever.

Do I see derision on your face & serious doubt if such a career could ever exist? I too felt the same, initially - - until I saw what the purohit who comes into all our homes to perform marriages and hundreds of other religious rituals, starting from the innocuous "satyanarayan ka paath", does. He happily goes about his duties in Sanskrit, a language which most of us do not understand. We look up to him for spiritual guidance and hence he can never go wrong. We never ask him why we lost that profitable tender even though a massive pooja to propitiate the evil spirits was carried out as per his advice. We are equally enthusiastic to perform the next pooja on his recommendations to keep the appropriate "planets" happy. The guy has taken over this job (like family doctors, we all have our family-purohits) from his father and his son seems destined to take over and be the RSP (Religious Service Provider) to your children.

I have never seen such complete "hold" that any marketer has had over his clients. Thank God the RSPs don't have a trade union of their own and none of them seem to have studied business management to exploit these inherent advantages in their profession. If someone can channelise these services professionally and efficiently, we are sure to see the birth of the next "super-industry" after IT.

Celebrating Anniversaries

2011-03-06T23:32:00.002+05:30

We Indians are a celebration - oriented people especially of the kind that means a public holiday. The holiday is generally more important to us than its cause. Anniversaries (both incoming and outgoing) are our special favourites. We are so busy celebrating the holiday that most of the times we forget to sincerely remember the person in whose name we got that holiday - and the principles that he / she stood for. There are of course those government sponsored functions (conducted early in the morning) to perfunctorily reminisce about that great person - so that everyone could spend the rest of the day like a "proper holiday".

MG is undoubtedly our biggest icon but how many take it upon themselves to tell the children in the house at least one or two inspiring stories from his life (one does not really have to wait for October 2nd to do so). Unfortunately, most of our generation (born after MG died) cannot recall appropriate stories because no one took us through this routine when we were kids ourselves. Reading MG to pass the "history" paper at school is different than remembering his innovative thoughts. For example, [1] How would he have reacted to the tremendous corruption that we find in all walks of life in India? [2] Could he have suggested a method to deal with terrorism? [3] Would the increasing divorce rates and westernization of our moral standards have troubled him? [4] Would his habit (of inflicting "pain" on himself - say by fasting) have succeeded in bringing about reconciliation amongst the warring groups or in the creation of some public good? [5] Would he have approved of the never ending "reservations" policy in the field of education or employment?

Alas, instead of ruminating on any of these, we are only busy in first dusting and cleaning his photographs & busts and then in planning how the extended weekend (due to the holiday) should be best spent. Isn't it a travesty of our calling him a 'Mahatma'?

We do the same to LBS (who shares his birthday with MG). Apart from his "mysterious" death at Tashkent, our younger generation knows nothing about the dynamism of probably the most morally upright prime minister of India.

The right way of "celebrating" such events would be to personally do something to perpetuate the ideals of the person whom we are remembering on that day and of course it is best to start with oneself. Give up a "bad" habit (smoking, drinking, laziness, egotism, casteism, superstitions or something similar) to experience the pleasure of sacrificing something you were unable to overcome all these years.

Remember, "fasts" or "shunning non-veg. food on a Thursday" or "attending a flag hoisting ceremony" are just not enough to allegedly "purify" yourself.

If you must, then celebrate anniversaries by improving yourself a little bit and by teaching kids around you to learn doing the same.

Comic Interludes in newspapers overflowing with scam - reports

2011-01-23T14:04:00.004+05:30

From the time that they started reporting about scams with such regularity, reading a daily newspaper has become quite boring. One wonders if it is the number of scams that has gone up or are more scams getting unearthed (or is it BOTH?). I believe all newspapers have a full fledged "editor-scams" working overtime to keep pace with the frenetic activity taking place around us. It was therefore a big relief to read some genuinely comic news - am sharing the mirth with you.

Astrological signs have changed due to wobbling of the earth. The earth apparently wobbled a little while rotating around its axis and expert astrologers feel this could lead to a change in the sun and moon signs ( राशी ) allotted to us poor mortals. Do you realize that your forecast for tomorrow, predicted by your favourite quack, could now apply to your driver? So don't take that (you are entering a phase of cordial relations with your spouse) very seriously. Astrologers who had barely recovered from the irresponsible act of astronomers who a few years ago, had discovered new planets, could not however explain why this "wobbling" itself could not be predicted. In spite of so many studies indicating that astrology has no statistical significance, it is indeed comic to see people giving it a "life defining" status. So please continue to stay indoors during राहू काल and oh yes, to avoid constipation, visit the toilet at an auspicious time recalculated for your newly changed राशी.

Priest at Tirumala temple steals gold ornaments donated by devotees. So finally nemesis caught up with those who have been plundering GOD's wealth. The priest was candid enough to say that he had sacrificed a lot for the deity and thus did not consider the robbery as a crime but a just return for his years of सेवा. On getting caught, he must have surely wondered where his भक्ती fell short. So much for hypocrisy of the highest order. I have often wondered why temples are locked at all. If the lord cannot protect his own property, how can he look after his devotees.

Union Bank of India opens a lock-less branch. The bank opened a new branch at शनी शिंगणापूर (in Ahmednagar district, Maharashtra) and decided not to lock any doors or their safety lockers, because the town is supposed to be protected from robberies by no less than शनी देव himself - no house in the village has doors and no robberies have been allegedly reported. When last heard, local police were planning to officially complain to RBI because apart from this "open" branch contravening banking regulations, they expect it to be a big "law & order" headache. So much for the faith that the official machinery has in the policing abilities of शनी.

Nagpur Traffic police notices no reduction in accidents at road junctions where वास्तू शास्त्र approved pyramids had been buried. Adopting a bizarre solution, the traffic authorities had resorted to burying special pyramids beneath some "killer" road junctions where accidents did not reduce in spite of their best efforts. Predictably, nothing changed except some "egg on the face" of the traffic police. I hope the experts who advised this move are punished and their names prominently published so that the public at large does not get duped. We must thank our stars that the CID is not resorting to using planchets to talk to the spirits of dead victims in their bid to find out who murdered them. I think CBI should not be allowed to close the Arushi case unless they talk to her spirit.

Kerela high court asks if the "divine" light (मकरविल्लकु ) at सबरीमला temple is man-made? It appears that this magically appearing light has been robbed of its "divinity" because it has now been admitted that some tribals have been lighting it for many years. As an interesting sidelight, the chief minister belonging to the atheistic communist party has already declared that he will not order any investigation that would hurt the faith of a large population of devotees. So we now have a new norm: It is alright to maintain the delusion of millions instead of recognizing a truth that stares you in the face. So women will continue to be debarred from this temple and devotees will continue to throng at the annual festival after supposedly "purifying" themselves through abstinence from meat, liquor and sex - only to happily continue sinning thereafter, until the next festival. I have never understood why only "believers" can protest about somebody "hurting their faith". Can't the other side protest about this persistent foolishness "hurting their intelligence"?

Come to think of it, isn't religion the biggest scam of them all ??

For more wholesome entertainment, click the following link and hear Pat Condell demonstrate how not to beat around the bush - he is absolutely superb.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4dSiHqpULk

Corruption Busters

2010-12-19T23:30:00.006+05:30

We are in the middle of a new season - the scam season. We first had the CWG mess followed by the "ideal" आदर्श ghotala, soon eclipsed by the Yeddy game [ at least this time it was the चड्डी वाले (RSS) who exhibited their expertise in Bangalore] finally to be dwarfed (as if to demonstrate that UPA could always surpass anyone else) by the 2G story that literally proved that in India, money can be made out of thin air (ordinary man's nomenclature for "airwaves bandwidth spectrum"). The Supreme Court's statement about "something rotten in Allahabad high court" was so "minor" an event in comparison that the baddies in उत्तर प्रदेश are all set to avenge this humiliation (how can others usurp our number one position in generating scams) by soon exposing something bigger related to Provident Fund deposits. If CM Nitish Kumar had not "emasculated" Bihar by developing it so handsomely, we would have had an enjoyable tussle for the number one position in this कौन बनेगा scam पती contest.

Genetic research will probably show that just like Indians are more prone to diabetes, we must be carrying a "corruption" gene that makes us "obsessively helpless" when it comes to succumbing to monetary temptations.

Jokes apart, will we never be able to cure ourselves of this disease??

I have come across many intelligent suggestions made by various agencies and individuals & I mention them for your perusal. All of them are easy to understand, some of them are easy to implement (provided we have the will to do so) - others will require constitutional amendments which are not impossible. The biggest impediment in implementing these would of course be our politicians who will most definitely oppose "cutting their own feet". The Congress party has made suitable noises through the presidential speech but their ability to walk the talk is suspect.

In all ballot papers for elections at all levels, let us create an alternative - "none of the above". If this "wins", all candidates appearing on that ballot paper will be debarred not only from contesting the re-election which will take place but also the next election in that constituency.
If a certain minimum number of voters in a constituency demand, they should have the power to recall their elected representative through a referendum to be conducted within the constituency.
No government orders for goods and services should be placed except through a public e- tendering process.
Entities that win government tenders should not be allowed to re-sell these or resell the companies through which these tenders have been won for a period of five years. This will stop the sham that presently goes on about the actual bidder wanting to exit the scene by creaming off the premium without actually implementing the project.
All powers of allotment of government land should be withdrawn from state Chief ministers. Instead, suitable committees comprising of captains of industry, representatives of NGOs and prominent citizens should supervise such allotment. Prior public notification of such proposed allotments should be published to invite objections if any.
All land records in the country should be computerized on a war footing.
The police department should be divided into two distinct sections; [1] Law and Order & [2] Crime investigation - CID. Only the former should be supervised by a political minister. The latter should report to an independent authority outside the purview of legislature.
The CBI similarly should not report to the home minister but to an independent authority making it the fourth pillar after the legislature, judiciary and the executive.
All lawyers should compulsorily serve as judges for one year in a bid to reduce the huge backlog of cases clogging our courts. Once this is achieved, we should be able to close a criminal litigation within 6 months and a civil complaint withing maximum 18 months.
Political parties should be treated as entities subject to compulsory auditing. Tax deductions should be extended for donations made to political parties. Elections should be state funded with each party depositing requisite amount of money for each of its candidates.
All contractors bills for Public Works carried out should be cleared only after verification of the work by a committee comprising of experts & also including citizens in whose area the project has been carried out.
Those charge sheeted (though not convicted yet) for criminal complaints should not be able to contest elections either for the state assemblies or Loksabha. If political parties get their opponents enmeshed in criminal complaints to debar them from contesting by taking refuge under this rule, the affected party will then also go out of its way to un earth criminal past of their opponents. This may actually lead to reduction in number of tainted candidates on both sides (a thorn being used to remove another thorn).
The ruling party will be able to appoint key ministers only after they are publicly interviewed and approved by a select committee of professionals in a televised interview.
Corruption cases above a certain threshold should be fast tracked. Names of those who are being investigated should be available on a public web site. Officers who misused their public positions and against whom charges have been proved should be debarred for life from operating as public servants apart from being liable to make good the financial loss that they caused to the exchequer.

Was Lord Ram really born?

2010-10-23T19:38:00.002+05:30

I have read Ramayan with great interest and think it is one of the most arresting story about the tribulations that a person can face in life. The enchantment that it weaves around the reader is unparalleled and no other story has survived the test of time as this one has. But it is a story.

Though Ramayan was written by Valmiki, he admits in his story that it was actually dictated by Lord Vishnu much before Vishnu took birth as Ram. This means that all that happened was divinely ordained. Only those who have blind faith (all faith is blind because it has no evidence to back it up) will therefore believe that Ramayan actually happened. If it is indeed a historical fact, why is it not taught to us in "history" classes in India - a Hindu country. No department of "Ancient history" in any university has been able to collect enough evidence which would stand the test of academic scrutiny. My view therefore is that until some evidence is found, we need to treat it as a story.
Authors, when they write stories, liberally make use of the geographical environment surrounding them. For example if I were to write a novel, you may find Ramdaspeth, Dadar, Sitaburdi or even Connaught Place mentioned in the story. When many years later, people find that these places actually existed, this in no way proves that the characters of my story were real. Sholay, as a movie had an extremely riveting storyline and was shot on location near Bangalore. Many years later if we do locate a "Ramgarh" which resembles the location of the shooting, should we start believing that Gabbar Singh actually existed and maybe declare a national holiday on the day on which he was killed because that signified the triumph of good over evil?
The same argument holds good for the various dates and तिथी mentioned in Ramayan. It is claimed that Valmiki has outlined astronomical details which could not have been done by a layman. If this is indeed true, it does indicate that Valmiki was probably an expert in astronomy. But this is extremely surprising because even Galileo (born much after Christ and who is hence definitely less than 2000 years old) was persecuted because he correctly postulated that the earth went around the sun which was exactly the opposite of what the bible said. How the human race did not know about earth going around the sun as late as about 500 AC (After Christ) and still make correct estimates of planetary positions 5000 years BC (before Christ) , is intriguing.
I also find a disturbing trend amongst believers to brush aside information from the same source book (Ramayan in this case) when it does not suit them. Valmikis Ramayan mentions that Ravana's age was about 20000 years (converted to Roman years from units prevalent in those days) when he was killed by Ram. How could this be possible?
In mythological texts (not necessarily Ramayan) many sages ate beef - but find me a believer who will accept this.
Coming to the NASA photograph, the bridge like structure has been "carbon dated" and found to be over 3 lac years old. NASA has categorically denied that it is made of stones that once floated on water (for this to theoretically happen, the stones will have to be filled with gas lighter than water) and there is no indication that this technology existed then. But faith will make the stones float on water - you don't require Physics for it. Maybe we can find some evidence of a very superior scientific race that populated the earth at that time but until we find that evidence, can we not keep our judgement in abeyance?
The recent Ayodhya judgement while suggesting a seemingly acceptable tripartite division has been found fatally faulty on two counts: [a] How can a deity be a litigant in a case? - the repercussions of this line of thought are un imaginably frightful; [b] On what basis can the learned judges say that Lord Ram was born at this place? Imagine what would happen if each religion starts insisting that their faith be given legal sanction.

The conclusion is obvious. Don't start believing that mythological stories are true - at best extract a "moral" from them (if there is one) and inculcate that in your personal life without insisting that everyone must do so.

Do we need GOD to be good?

2010-08-29T17:58:00.003+05:30

Most of my acquaintances and friends (including my mother) think that without GOD, our society would slide into a chaos - people will loot with impunity - most social norms would break down and that eventually we will slide back to what we were thousands of years ago - uncivilized. The concept of GOD, according to them, is holding us back from this anarchy. Do you agree with this prognosis?

[1] GOD is not IPC (Indian Penal Code).

Even the Indian Penal Code has not been able to stop increases in murders (the per capita murders in India has been rising in spite of IPC allowing capital punishment). Majority of those who commit crimes do so in spite of being ardent believers of GOD (in any form). Each jail in India has special places of worship. We have to accept that believing in the existence of a divine power has not at all discouraged these perpetrators of crime. We have the classic example of 9/11 where the crime was carried out because of GODs wish to punish the infidels (at least that 's what the terrorists were made to believe).

[2] Is the rate of crime higher in predominantly "atheistic"countries?

Actually quite the contrary is true. The civic consciousness, law and order problems, rate of crime, empowerment of women, public health, child mortality, gender equality and of course economic growth and the overall development measured by the HDI (Human Development Index is used by UNO to rate nations on the basis of economic and non economic indicators of growth) is much better in these "atheistic" nations (Norway, Sweden) than countries like USA or India both of which predominantly believe in GOD. The absence of GOD (statistically in the minds of majority of their population) does not seem to have created anarchy.

[3] Are believers better than others in taking ethical and moral decisions? Psychologists can assess the personality trait of an individual for (1) integrity and (2) ethical /moral behaviour. I was fascinated (& so will you be) to read about the conclusions drawn by Hauser and Singer's study (Page258 of "The GOD Delusion" by Richard Dawkins) that there is no statistically significant difference between atheists and believers in making moral judgments.

We obviously do not need GOD to be either good or evil.

"Statistics" could be the answer to this problem...

2010-07-05T20:33:00.005+05:30

Let us accept it. Most people are scared of mathematics - some succumb to this fear before graduation while others, a little later. Like they say हर आदमी की एक कीमत होती है; in this case every person has his threshold of tolerance beyond which he wants to be "liberated" from the tyranny of numbers. Statistics is the बाप of mathematics and even those interested in the latter could run scared of the former. Would you however believe if I say that statistical theories actually rule our lives?

Hypotheses in physical sciences like Physics & Chemistry are LAWS because they are always true (100% probability). The law of gravitation, for example, works the same at all times of day and night and at any place on the globe. There are however hypotheses in the fields of medicine or social sciences like psychology or sociology where laws may not be true 100% of the times but could still be recognised as "laws" ( remember, anything that happens with more than 50% certainty has the potential of being called a "law").

My hypothesis is that most of us are full of superstitions mainly because we haven't understood statistics.

I rate "superstitions" as one of our top problems. Just imagine - without superstitions we would not have had [1] our caste system; [2] the practice of सती; [4] खाप पंचायत and honour killings ; [4] Dowry deaths; [5] Female foeticide; [6] Belief in numerology, astrology, palmistry; [7] Gender bias against women; [8] Child marriages; [9] Religious obstinacy.

A dictionary defines "Superstitions" as beliefs without any evidence (or shall I add, statistical evidence). It is obvious that when we operate under the influence of superstitions, we suspend our power of analysis. Then fearing being branded "illogical", we stretch ourselves to justify our actions, fully ignoring what "statistics" is telling us.

[a] Statistics tells us that the possibility of a couple getting a son or a daughter is really 50% and depends on the chromosomes from the husband but mothers - in - law (even in TV soap operas) continue blaming the wife for not giving them a son. [b] Psephology is a decent statistical tool to predict election results but our politicians would continue to seek blessings from diverse dieties and assign their success or failure to them. [c] People continue to match horoscopes before marrying their children, ignoring the statistical fact that workability (or non workability) of marriages depends on a host of factors, other than planetary influences. They conveniently ignore all those cases where marriages failed in spite of this horoscope matching [d] People continue to have faith in homoeopathy though statistically, its rate of success is no better than that of a placebo. [e] People continue to believe that "regular prayers" to GOD bring them success, turning a blind eye to the fact that in almost all cases, the prayers did not work - hard work did. [f] So many of us strongly believe and insist on others believing that a moment or a day or a particular month is auspicious to start or perform a particular activity. [g] Belief in the existence of an ALMIGHTY power controlling all of us and this world is deeply entrenched in the mind of so many, without any statistical verification of the thought (at least someone over the last tens of thousands of years should have been able to prove the existence of such a power instead of just saying that" it has to be experienced" or "you need to be devout" in order to experience it).

I think statistics should be made compulsory right from middle school so that all of us understand that there is always a possibility of something happening in a given set of circumstances and we should not jump to the conclusion that that is what will always happen. We should not create a relation between an input and an event ( A implies B) unless this happens often enough to have statistical significance.

What is wrong with us?

2010-05-24T01:18:00.002+05:30

Three happenings in the recent past have saddened me as I am sure they have, countless other fellow Indians. The way India managed and weathered the last two years of economic recession and the brightness with which many non resident Indians are shining all over the globe had for once given credence to Dr. Kalams' dream of our country getting counted as a role model (albeit in the next few decades). These events certainly deflated that pride.

1. खाप Panchayats in Haryana:

In obviously what is a no brainer, "same - गोत्र " marriages cannot lead to genetic defects that could occur in off-springs (due to "in-breeding") because of the simple fact that the present generation is very far removed from the original ऋषी (the name of the gotra is the same as that of this sage) from whom the lineage started. These खाप पंचायत in Haryana are ordering newly married couples to be ostracized or even killed for not obeying their ridiculous diktats of not marrying someone staying in even the same village. What is more disturbing is that there is no up surge of anger amongst Haryanvis who otherwise are hot-blooded enough to spill their anger on the streets. To top it all, two Members of Parliament (one of them Mr Jindal who is a part of India's progressive youth brigade) have come out with meaningless and mushy statements (obviously keeping their vote banks in mind) about how we must respect our traditions. Frankly I am perplexed - can India shine brightly with a prosperous state like Haryana being so outdated and callous in its public beliefs? Or is this a new strategy to give a scientific flavour to what essentially is superstitious nonsense or at best illegal flexing of political muscles. Who knows, we may next have a demand from Rajasthan to re start the practice of "सती "?

2. Antics of Shibu Soren in Jharkand

He becomes Chief Minister with BJP's support - then goes and votes against them in the no confidence motion against the Congress government at Delhi - asks for forgiveness when BJP threatens to withdraw support in Jharkand - first agrees to step down and allow BJP to form the government with its own CM - then turns around and says both parties will have CM by rotation for 28 months each and finally says he won't vacate the seat for the BJP. What surprises me is the absolutely spineless response of a national party like BJP just for sharing the spoils of office. If the "Hindutva" brigade cannot shun मोह (lust for power in this case) which Hinduism calls upon its true followers to achieve, aren't they being as hypocritical as they accuse their opponents to be?

3. फतवा from Deoband about not working in banking and insurance sectors.

The presumptious फतवा about Muslims not being allowed to work in both these sectors (because it is against the shariah) is another ridiculous attempt to impose fake religiosity over the common masses who understandably dare not openly criticize these interpreters of faith. There were some sporadic public calls from other Muslim clerics about the non tenability of this फतवा but what remains etched in the mind is the threat received by Mr. Javed Akhtar (may his tribe grow) who is the only Muslim atheist that I have ever heard of.

Don't you think India is moving back to medieval ages, at supersonic speed??

Being religious could be injurious to your (mental) health

2010-05-02T17:19:00.006+05:30

Contrary to popular belief, religion can induce hallucinatory behaviour - please pay careful attention to the following classic symptoms.

[1] You may suspend the usage of your intellect

Normally, you will use this to carefully analyse every decision that you take - for example (a) Painstaking research about which cellphone to buy; (b) Credit history of a guy before lending him money; (c) Studying effectiveness of your earlier advertisements before releasing new ones. When the same person is however in the "religion" mode, he just stops using his analytical ability & allows himself to be lead by the nose, as if in a trance - for example believing that (d) you could be reborn as a dog in the next life; (e) you could absolve yourself of all sins just by confessing or taking a holy dip in a river; (f) certain moments are more auspicious than others.

[2] You may believe that bribery is an acceptable way of getting things done

While there is a stringent law in place against giving, abetting or accepting UTT (popular term amongst sales persons meaning "under the table"), religious people cannot be arrested for doing this, as the other party has never been identified. So you have people offering gold and cash to GOD to get in return, at least a part of their wish list (an offspring, wealth, business, success in an examination or as in Chennai, a mundane visa to USA)

[3] Your obsequious loyalty may reach the heavens (pun intended)

Those of you who have had dogs at home, would easily recall how delightful it is to be welcomed home at any hour with that love lorn look in the eyes of your pet (a spouse is no match except maybe during the first few months of marriage). This is what I call 100% loyalty and yes how you love his groveling for biscuits or whatever... Now just imagine yourself symbolically to be the pet and then start pleading for favours from the supreme entity that religions want you to surrender yourself to. The pet just doesn't know any other way of getting its rewards but human beings do - but would still not make use of any of these alternatives.

[4] Virtual reality cannot get you your daily bread

Psychologists recommend "positive thinking and optimism" as traits that would improve personal productivity but these cannot be used to acquire hardcore skills like flying an aircraft or becoming a surgeon. An interesting research has demonstrated that predominantly "atheist" nations (large enough statistical samples) far outclass "religious minded" ones on every parameter of economic development like GDP growth, improvement in health standards, reduction of poverty, empowerment of women, reduction in child mortality etc. The reason looks obvious: while the atheists have no one to "fall back upon except themselves" to perform, others depend on GOD to do most of their chores.

[5] Your fear of the unknown will increase manifold

Do ghosts frighten you? Are you fearful that all your actions are being entered in a balance sheet by someone who will one day (conveniently after your death) ask you to explain and then allot you an abode that is commensurate with your net positive (or negative) worth? Have you convinced yourself that our solar system and other galaxies cannot but be controlled by some "powerful entity" (read GOD)? The major strength of any religion is that it cleverly operates on the basis of hypotheses that cannot be disproved. Moreover, anything that cannot be explained is attributed to that supreme power. Now how many discoveries in the last century (which were earlier attributed to the divine power) were indeed found to be so? ZERO! All that has happened is that a new set of unknown things are now attributed to the divine power. The burden of proving any theory normally lies on the one who propounds it - here it is exactly the opposite - the burden of disproving it lies on the non - believer and until that happens, the believer happily keeps behaving as if it was the ultimate truth. Religion instills such an acute fear of ostracism amongst its followers that most of them turn completely robotic and pliant.

[6] You will stop expecting "accountability" from others

This is natural because religion is not at all accountable for whatever it promises and still has no "customer dissatisfaction" (to use a marketing term). Imagine that you bought an air-conditioner which did not cool your room. Will you blame your ill - luck and just go to the same shop and buy another one hoping that it will work this time? Religion expects you to keep doing that until "one of the units does cool your room" - then it turns around and tells you - "see I intervened with the the shopkeeper to give you a working piece ". It remains completely silent on why it did not intervene all these months - and you of course are so grateful and overjoyed at having got the right AC that you now start praying for a car.

Religious preachers never tire of quoting how flowing water is purer than stagnant water. In the last few thousand years, there hasn't been a single new thought added to religious philosophy (stagnant) while the world outside has innovated in leaps and bounds (running water). Neither its preachers nor its scriptures are likely to withstand rigorous and independent scrutiny - a threshold that any philosophy has to cross to earn its stars. Human beings must have got genetically mis-wired (some software somewhere got mis programmed in the process of evolution) for so many of them to behave in the weird manner that they do when it comes to "religion".

It would actually be a good idea to post a statutory warning outside all places of worship that says " Beware! Entering may increase delusional behaviour"

How sinful is your nation?

2010-02-14T16:27:00.010+05:30

Recently, I came across an interesting British research report that compared nations according to their "sin" (पाप) index. A nation obviously is perceived to be as sinful as its residents. Analyses like these can never be very accurate and could appear a trifle unfair but this could be said about most studies that are conducted over such a broad canvas. Don't we use the HDI (Human Development Index - comprising of economic, health and empowerment indicators) to assess how developed a nation is?

The "sin" index apparently comprised of seven deadly sins: [1] Lust; [2] Gluttony; [3] Greed; [4] Wrath; [5]Pride; [6] Envy; and [7] Sloth. Each of these parameters carried ten marks and a higher score was considered more sinful. The socio - economic indicators used to measure these attributes make interesting reading.

Lust was measured by the per capita spend on pornographic material and average time spent on viewing this. South Korea was the top scorer here. I wonder how we would measure this in India since officially no pornographic material is available for sale or viewing (unless we track the sale of कामसूत्र) or measure the per capita rate of lustful ogling done at public places. Since very few Indian women lodge complaints of sexual harassment at the office - we would not be able to track that too. If India was included in this study, we will surely come out to be the least lustful nation in the world - not quite how things are.

Gluttony was measured by the per capita expenditure on high calories fast foods. USA came out the most sinful on this parameter. Since almost 40% of our population cannot even afford one full meal per day and since we are the second most populous nation in the world, we will surely score very low on gluttony. Our अतिथी देवो भव् culture has however trained most of us in the well to do segment to force - feed a guest until he surrenders with a loud burp.

Pride was measured by the per capita number of plastic surgeries. India is bound to come out very "virtuous" on this scale too. Maybe we could use the per capita dowry demanded by the grooms' family or the per capita honour killings ordered in Punjab or Haryana as an indicator of personal pride.

Sloth was measured by the number of holidays and absenteeism. We are on our "home ground" on this one. I don't think anyone will be able to beat us on this.

Greed was measured by the proportion of population earning less than 50% of the median value. Wrath was measured by the per capita incidence of violent crimes like rape, murders and assaults.

Envy was measured by the per capita incidence of car thefts, robberies and burglaries. In India this indicator would be so misleading. Maybe we could measure it by per capita personal loans taken to buy luxury goods - a large number of such loan cases are initiated because of jealousy induced by neighbours buying similar items.

Australia was adjudged the most sinful nation (score 46 out of 70) according to this study. If India were to be included in such a survey, I am sure we will come out to be the least sinful unless of course hypocrisy is included in the list. But even then we have this unfair advantage of bathing in the river Ganga and starting with a clean slate all over again. We can indeed never be displaced from our "exalted" status.

Is "reading" becoming a dying habit?

2010-01-03T14:37:00.011+05:30

The present generation is smarter and more intelligent than mine in almost all spheres of life. They can handle "technology" far better than us; they get to choose from many times the career choices that we could; they have more money making opportunities and can exploit them much better than us; they are better citizens of the world because of their increased international travel; they are more confident - outspoken - communicative and independent than an average member of our generation was and of course earn more (even taking into account the reduced purchasing power of the rupee) than what we did.

You will agree that this is how it should be. If a succeeding generation is not "better" than the previous one, how can we claim that we are progressing - both economically and as a society.

There is however one serious blot on this otherwise clean canvas. The present generation does not like to read books. Maybe this is so because it is difficult to read books on a computer (or a television) screen to which most of them are "glued" to, throughout the day. Reading (virtually any kind) is "beneficial" to ones mental & therefore physical health and those not practicing it are denying themselves a great source of pleasure, entertainment and knowledge. Readers would have guessed that I am particularly referring to "extra curricular" reading. Movies - the staple food of this generation, unfortunately cannot jump start the process of "maturing" their viewers as books can. A book can be leisurely "chewed" while a movie has to be "gulped down".

It is not as if lesser number of books are being written - it is just that the number of readers has not increased proportionately. This is surprising since literacy levels have actually gone up. I have decided to do my bit to change things.

This is a link to My Library in Google Books. Here, I have listed my personal favourites. This should help those who keep asking me to recommend what they should read. The list is now just a click away. I have labeled the books in different categories, added my notes and given star ratings to all of them.
Did you know that we now have available (also in India) two state -of - the - art gadgets that allow you to download e-books (at a fraction of the cost of hard copies) that can be read on conveniently designed hand held electronic readers? Yes I am referring to Amazon Kindle and Sony touch. Both weigh under 300 grams, have 6 - inch screens, can store over 500 books, make available to you a library of over 2,00,000 e-books & have many features that will widen your eyes in amazement. Electronic geeks should no longer have excuses about not reading books. Just click the above links for all details.
Why not spread the habit by presenting books instead of bouquets or sundry gifts, on all possible occasions?

Choosing a career for your child !

2009-10-28T23:41:00.005+05:30

I am reproducing my article published in the Nagpur edition of Times of India.

___________________________________________________________

Like all difficult decisions, choosing a career for your child often gets postponed until the last moment and is then somehow “got over with”. Many of us spend the rest of our life finding justifications for “career” related mistakes that were avoidable. The process appears all the more bewildering to today’s parents because during their time, there just weren’t so many choices and “listening” to elders was invariably the norm. They can’t understand how their own children could have become so precocious (and hence difficult to browbeat). Parents do deserve sympathy alongwith good advice on how to choose the right career for their children.

(1) Do not give importance to what the current trend is – rather find out what your child is comfortable with.

Many careers have been grounded because parents couldn’t wait to see their child become an “engineer” just because the neighbour’s kid was an engineer. Most careers require specific educational and psychological skills. Parents must make use of psychometric tests to match these skill sets with the personality of an individual.

(2) Study the grades that your child obtained in various subjects,

during the last few years at school!

Teach him/her some lessons yourself (parents these days are so dependent on tuition classes that they have almost forgotten the art of teaching their own children). Even a few minutes every day will give you an insight into whether he is quick on the uptake while studying “physical sciences” or “languages” or both.

(3) Never insist on the child becoming your own photocopy.

There is no law in genetics that says that children are born with the same skills as their parents. So don’t insist on the impossible. Many frustrations have their root cause in this “yearning” of parents. If a doctor’s son is a good singer, so be it.

(4) Always shortlist two or three alternatives for in-depth study.

Don’t feel bad about being so ignorant of the plethora of alternatives available and more importantly, don’t feel jealous that these didn’t exist in your time. Talk things over with concerned experts. Do not, I repeat do not send your child to do this legwork. If it had been possible for him or her to decide, why would you have been in the picture at all? Remember whatever else you may not be able to do, you can ask the right questions. Attend special seminars that get conducted. If you want your child to go abroad, going to more than one expert becomes a must. Do not presume that the so-called expert is really so. He might have read about what he is telling you, just yesterday.

(5) Choose the right college or training institute.

This could be confusing especially when you are choosing a training institute. Look for two parameters. Has the owner of the training institute successfully cleared the examination that he claims to train his students for? How are the past results of that institution? Past results never tell lies. Insist on talking to at least some of the faculties to get an insight into their competence.

(6) Choose the career that gives your child more options, later.

If he does BCA (Bachelors in Computer Applications), then the next option has to be MCA! However if he does B Com then he could do either M.Com or MCA. Obviously the second choice is better. Another good case in point could be the BBA (Bachelors in Business Administration) course. While it gives no special benefits during MBA admissions – that is the only logical path that it leads to. Avoid such “close ended lanes”.

(7) Choose a career that is expected to increase your wards’ “job-value.”

Irrespective of what many say, choose a career that you think will get him a more lucrative job. If this also happens to be what he likes most - so much the better! Most of the students choose to become MBA because of the pot of gold that they see at the “end of the rainbow” and not because they “love” business management. I see nothing wrong in this provided they are willing to go through the rigours of a good management course.

In our culture, parents are expected to mould the careers of their children so that the latter could support them, later. Don’t criticize children if they do not succeed – it may be due to the incorrect career guidance given earlier. I am reminded of what a wag once said, though in a different context - “Don’t criticize your wife too much; it may be because of these very defects in her that she did not get a better husband”.

How high is your SQ?

2009-10-04T16:11:00.004+05:30

Spirituality is often wrongly equated to complete renunciation of desires. Mythological stories reinforce the view that to be spiritual, one needs to sever all attachments and meditate in splendid isolation (in maybe the Himalayas). Since this is neither economically nor socially logical (especially when we are young), most of us conclude that pursuing a spiritual path is at best a "post retirement" activity. In reality, spirituality is all about conquering or mastering your senses. If you crave for an ice cream but use the power of your mind to abstain from eating it, I guess you are exhibiting "spirituality". Going to temples, observing a fast, following prescribed rituals or dutifully listening to religious discourses do not necessarily make you a spiritual person.

Though research has proved long ago that IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is not such an efficient parameter, we continue to use it as a predictor of "success in later life", by designing academic curricula and examination-patterns that basically test the students' IQ. Psychologists have now established that EQ (Emotional Quotient) plays a far greater role in this process of becoming "successful". However it is a persons' SQ (Spiritual Quotient) that seems to determine how successful and happy the person is likely to be.

Which personality traits increase ones' Spiritual Quotient?

Flexibility: It is common knowledge that inflexibility is the cause of un-happiness. Haven't we seen flexible plants and trees easily surviving storms? Rapid progress of technology has made many so called "experts", obsolete – so if they obstinately stick to their guns (as inflexible persons are prone to do), they are surely going to be wiped away. The least flexible persons in a society are ironically the religious fundamentalists who claim to be high on spirituality. Secular individuals who admit that there could be other paths to salvation are thus at a higher level of spirituality than those with the "my daddy strongest" syndrome.

Ability to ask fundamental questions: True seekers of knowledge should neither be biased in their approach nor afraid of being proved wrong. They must possess an uncanny ability to get to the core of an issue by asking fundamental questions. Contrary to what we would normally believe, an atheist could thus be more spiritual than a religious person. This habit of seeking answers to myriads of doubts that surround us, soon becomes an important aspect of the seekers' personality. We have always known that in the long run, hypocrites and shams achieve little success or happiness.

Ability to use suffering as a means of progress: Even the richest and the most powerful amongst us cannot deny that we all get our quota of "suffering" in life. Suffering is of course relative. For a person used to flying business class, the necessity to travel by AC II tier is acute "suffering" (the recession has heaped such financial ignominies on many). For the slum – dog - millionaires, suffering could come in the form of a demolition squad about to raze their shanties to the ground. The type of suffering does not matter – what matters in determining your SQ is your ability to withstand it stoically and learn from it so that you could prevent its recurrence or at least mitigate its effect in future. Those who appeal to the Almighty to deliver them from their troubles & wait for something to happen are thus far less spiritual than the ones who spur themselves to more meaningful action. Don't we say that GOD helps those who help themselves – why do we often forget this maxim when it is time to act?

Causing minimum harm: Harm includes infliction of physical and mental pain. It would be foolish to presume that in a competitive environment as we live today, actions will cause no harm. One can surely [a] avoid causing of deliberate or malicious harm; [b] choose alternatives that minimize hardships.

Firm belief in the superiority of POWER of the MIND: Are you aware of the weaknesses and strengths of your personality and more importantly are you engaged in the constant process of reducing the former and nurturing the latter? Do you possess the mental discipline to exhibit "humility" in spite of your intelligence and power? Can you forgive? Can you be benignly detached from persons and material luxuries surrounding you?

Do you realise friends that in this process of increasing your SQ, you are predominantly your own trainer?

Will Science & Religion ever see eye to eye?

2009-09-03T21:56:00.002+05:30

Religion & Science are old "enemies". If you go by the number of followers, the former is a clear winner. If it ever comes to choosing only one of them, an overwhelming majority is expected to abandon the latter. "Religion" has always scoffed at "Science" as being incapable of evaluating religious philosophies while "Science" has maintained that "Religion" expects its followers to slavishly & irrationally accept whatever is told to them. Let's look at this a little dispassionately.

[1] Field of operation: Many vital operating principles of religion pertain to the time period either before birth or after death. Thus you have religions telling you how you will be rewarded (or punished) in the next birth or in the post - death period depending upon how you lived your life in this birth. Good deeds get rewarded and bad ones result in pain and trouble. For obvious reasons, it is impossible to verify any of these things. Science on the other hand operates in the material world on the basis of either empirical data (observations without necessarily understanding why a certain thing happens in a certain manner) or hard evidence and educated predictions.

[2] New Discoveries: All progress in "science" can be attributed to the un- quenching thirst for more knowledge (research) without resting on ones' laurels and the innate wish to invent more efficient procedures & to establish hypotheses - not all of which may be 100% true (but which are statistically significantly true). To quote an example, we first had telephone instruments with rotary dialing - then with push button dialing - we then had cell phones and maybe we will soon have "thought - controlled - diallers" which will dial out a number by reading our mind. Internet is another example of how technology has given us a tool which appeared "magical" just a few decades ago. Religion on the other hand has primarily remained the same for thousands of years with no "inventions" or new ideas. It actually prides itself on being so "perfect" that no further developments are expected.

[3] Ability to provide cogent explanations: Religion discourages fundamental questioning while Science thrives on it. Imagine a 15 year old school boy questioning the theory propounded by a Nobel Laureate - the latter would be happy to convince the youngster about the efficacy of the theory without in any way feeling hurt about being challenged by a novice. Now imagine a religious pundit trying to answer seemingly obvious doubts that could creep into the mind of anyone about many things that religion strongly believes in (for example, how can a child be born of a virgin mother OR how could an elephants head be fitted on a human torso). The questioner will most likely be told that he is too "raw" to understand these things or met with "spiritual" anger about being blasphemous. Isn't this exactly how parents stonewall innocuous but embarrassing queries from toddlers?

[4] Loyalty: Most religions expect complete and blind loyalty from their followers. Rebels are encouraged to "leave the room". Religion generates such intense passions that it has been a direct or indirect cause of almost all wars fought in the history of mankind. Science on the other hand expects its followers to be guided by logic and evidence. It actually encourages "destabilization" of existing beliefs (theories) and welcomes rebels because that is how it has progressed all these years.

On all the parameters that we have examined till now, 'science' and 'religion' are diametrically opposite to each other. Are there no commonalities at all??

[5] Ability to generate commerce: Yes this is one ability common to both. Religion & Science both generate commerce on a huge scale. If people were to stop celebrating religious festivals, our GDP could come down to half of what it is - even the errant monsoons do not have such immense power over our financial future.

All in the name of the poor farmer

2009-08-18T11:09:00.005+05:30

This is a message that I received from another group. I was impressed with its clarity and decided to post it on CLEAR FUNDAS. There is plenty of food for thought - if not for the farmer's plate.

"With monsoon failure and farmer suicides back to hogging the media headlines, once again it is time for the ever proverbial doles to farmers . Every arm chair socialist suddenly develops bleeding heart for the 'poor farmer in distress' . Every rural marketing project which was shelved for long , suddenly resurfaces with the tagline - to benefit the poor Indian kisan (farmer)'.

Most people know very little of rural India, or are too scared to speak on such a 'touchy' topic lest they be seen as anti-social. Being a 'social entrepreneur' at least the least we can do is to rip the face masks off such pseudo measures.This post is dedicated to the thousands of people who have benefited 'in the name of the farmer'. I hope by end of this post, even if one of them develops areal conscience , we would consider our expose a small step in right direction ;-)

Rip off number 1 : Farmers are poor and this justifies loan waivers

Well, that depends on whom you consider as a farmer. Recently there were media reports of Amitabh Bachhan claiming to be a farmer in UP , and a Union minister who waived off loans for farmers , resulting in his own mother in law claiming how much he himself gained from such a write off ! Even after land ceiling acts , there are several BMW farmers in our midst ! Most real farmers in India who are poor do not own any land - they operate on lease or work as labourers and hence cant keep land as collateral for loans.

Rip off number 2 : Green revolution has increased our yield

Well, if you call importing rice, wheat, Australian grapes & Chinese water melons as REVOLUTION ! Our home grown Simla apples are hardly to be seen in our shelves . Our Elakki bananas are a lost species. And then the same 'fathers of Indian agriculture' hold conferences to protect global bio diversity after completely wiping out our own local horticulture products.

Answer this simple question O father who knows all - 'if we had a green revolution, then why are we IMPORTING even staple items which are very much available in India ?'

Rip off number 3 : The farmers need more cold storages to store their yield and get better prices

Well, if you think cold storage is a big size fridge . But people fail to realise that even the smallest of fridges need POWER SUPPLY to keep things cool. Now , with even large metros struggling to maintain sustained power supply, and most rural areas under 12 hour shut downs , tell me if we even can assure our farmers that we can provide energy to run even a SMALL FRIDGE ? With rising cost of diesel, do you think they can run off generators ??

In fact several multi crore cold storage projects have been quietly bitten to dust owing to poor utilisation. Ask SAFAL/SNX , Cochin airport authorities and the several agri food parks dotting our country sides ... you'll be surprised at the number of cold storages that have actually been built and are rusting today for want of electric power supply !

Rip off number 4 : Farmers are under clutches of money lenders. Micro finance will save them !

Well, provided the people who run micro finance agencies are angels with hearts of Mother Teresa. What is attracting hordes of bankers like flies to flame are the high interest rates in MFI - often close to 30-40% . But what they Don't realise is that the money lender often lives IN the village and always there- Not a casual annual visitor , who stays in a five star hotel , and drive around in SUV, and reads Harvard case studies on alleviating poverty !! The money lenders not only finance the farmer's production, but also any incident in his family - death of his family members, his children's marriage , or even for booze !! Now which MFI has those in their loan agreements ;-)

Mohammed Younus and Grameen bank was an innovation because it grew out of active social projects. Ask even the best of MFI's to really show how their money has been utilised , you will find them dodging the question. Recently, one MFI claimed to be funding millions of farmers across TN, we asked them if we could source from their farmers communities as it would improve the prices and repayment capability- and we never got a call back !!

Rip off number 5 : Indian farmers need to reach global standards and target export markets to get better prices.

Well, that's true if you skipped right through history class in high school. remember Mohanjadaro & Harappa having granaries & modern agri tools ? Read about the silk route and Chinese travelers who wrote tomes on India's richness ? Read about our Kings sending out naval ships laden with best of peppers & spices ? every conquering army from Moghuls to the British came in attracted by the richness of our agricultural products. And ironically, America was discovered 'by mistake' as Columbus was trying to chart a route to INDIA !!

And to think these same westerners are back in new garbs , stating that we are POOR in EXPORT quality !! Here's a gentle reminder note to our western readers : "Dudes - our forefathers ran the granaries of the world civilisation when your's were hanging from trees !!"

Then why this sudden gap in 'global gap' standards ? Firstly, we feel that there is nothing Global about these Global gaps. These are promoted by few dominant retail giants like Tescos & Walmarts of the world who have a rather skewed picture of what is the 'right fruit' - To extend their own racist backgrounds , the items have to be 'white , bright , shiny & spotless' - who cares what is inside , as long as it sells ! These standards are set again by developed nations , who mostly are 'meat eaters' , where vegetables & fruits are used for salads & table decoration.

With more than 1.4 billion domestic customers and another millions global diaspora of NRIs, we don't even need to look beyond our own kin for a target audience.

Rip off number 6 : We need to invest in more agri research and dissemination to farmers

Crores are being spent on research projects on how to increase the yield and productivity. But strangely nobody seems to do much to reduce the 'wastage' which is almost 50% of the yield ? Lets put this in perspective. Suppose you are working hard to earn for your family , and your wife cooks a grand meal and then your kids throw half the food into garbage everyday and claim they are not fed , what would you do ? Will you : (1)go and start working OVERTIME in office to earn MORE money so your wife can cook MORE food and bring to table and occasionally borrow from neighbours? OR (2) SPANK your kids to start respecting the food already ON THE TABLE ??

Well, if you were a normal person you would choose option 2. But if you happen to be an agri researcher or a government official in agri department , option 1 IS the obvious choice ;-). well, I think you would have got my point by now. Money saved is money earned - similarly less wastage is equivalent to more production . What research are we doing to reduce wastage ? To start with - do we even have demand/supply data with us ?

Stop chasing the light at end of tunnel - because every researcher wants to 'discover' this silver bullet solution to solve world hunger. Often the problem is , they are facing the wrong end of the tunnel !!

Rip off number 7 : GM crops are a boon to Indian farmer v/s Organic/Natural farming is the solution to restoring natural balance v/s Organic farming doesn't have enough yield

Funny , that these concepts are ALL originating from the west . All these statements are backed by research and consulting agencies and expensive certifications . GM crops which have been banned in western countries are openly flouted as 'god's gift' to Indian farmer. And on the same note, we see the government claiming that Year's of abuse of fertilisers & chemicals has destroyed yield and promoting organic/natural farming. We have saying in Tamil ' pinch the kid and rock the cradle'. Dear Agricultural minister - when you are not busy between IPL cricket match schedules and posing with cheer leaders - can you please resolve this little dilemma ?

Rip off number 8 : India doesn't get enough rain to do farming owing to repeated monsoon failure

Well, yaaawwwn .How long are we going to hear this same sob story ? Is it that the rain gods are ONLY angry with India and rest of the countries are all well taken care of ? Global climatic change is a pretty worldwide phenomenon by now . What others have done is anticipate this, and taken measures to plan, protect and allocate their natural resources wisely . For example, China doesn't do boo-hoo over poor rainfall ? Is lord Indra leaning towards communism

India's agri planning & water resource planning has 'malfunction' written all over it. between politicians, environmentalists, naxals and NGOs , all the waters we get either get lost to ocean or results in skewed flood/drought combinations that when we look at macroscopic picture, we have to admit - even God helps only those who help themselves . best of weather satellites and Abdul Kalams not withstanding, our rain & water management is just PATHETIC . With a slightly more stronger central govt. we hope at least this time our prime minister can wield a stronger stick amongst the state governments to cooperate better - or else !

Rip off number 9 : Information technology can rescue the farmers

Well, after they manage to rescue themselves ;-) Given the global meltdown, and scams that have tarnished the much glorified IT incs. Yes, technology definitely can aid the millions of India's poor. But problem is the business houses have always more tuned to working with HNI's and $$ customers, that the huge mindset shift which is required to adjust to Indian customers and that too those BPL is too vast for now. India's IT companies have built the backbone of the worlds leading supply chains & agri businesses, but look within and we just about have put a cell phone in every person's hand. There is a LOT that can be done in this sector , provided one knows where to start ad how to go about.

Rip off number 10 : We need to create rural hubs - provide commodity futures trading, health care, insurance and FMCG products to improve farmer's lifestyle and needs

Well, if you ask any farmer he will tell you he has already discovered such a hub - it is called the 'CITY' - duh ? Just like any city bred middle class man always dreams of going to the West & settling down in land of opportunities , the villagers also harbour dreams to coming to our cities ! They want to drive cars (maybe not Tata's Nano - but the swankier Camry's) , live in high rise apartments , and send their kids to private school and get treated in Apollo hospitals. You think I am joking - just look at any village today - you won't find any youngsters - they are all in the city , powering the BPO & call centres. Attend any rural job fair and the single point requirement is to 'settle down in the city'. Even the farmers are pushing their kids to move away from their villages The real estate boom has increased land values to such levels in last few years that it is lot more lucrative to sell the land and live off its riches than toil on it.

Our great minds in planning commissions assume the farmers to be 'village idiots' - but the jokes are on them now. The pace of change in rural India is so drastic and the migrations to city so rapid , that most of these Utopian projects like 'farmer's hubs' are becoming ghost towns. people have always tried to 'sell' things to farmers, without actually realising that they haven't done much to 'buy' things from them ? Every village now has one rupee sachet shampoos which have become success stories in rural BOP marketing, read by generations of MBA graduates - but go to any wholesale Mandi near the city and look at how vegetables are sold - in crude gunny bags and open crates !!No case study there Mr. IIM professor !

The city dweller may cherish this dream of fresh air, green fields and swinging by the Babul tree - but the villagers are just bored ... they would rather see all that in a multiplex . Mr. Gandhi, had he been alive would have rephrased his statement - "India lives in villages .. but the villagers are living in our metros ". Well, shocked ? upset ? dazed ? So are we... lot of the myths which have been built around us about villagers are breaking every day . The more we think we know about rural India, the farther we seem to be from truth .

What is written above is but a small pebble.. we need more pebbles, and more throwers ... lets stop romanticising about the farmers . There is NOTHING romantic being an Indian farmer today . If you can't genuinely do anything for them, at least stop raping them and telling them that you are doing a great service to them. As Michael Jackson would have put it - "if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a ... CHANGE"."

__.

Good News

2009-08-09T13:54:00.004+05:30

Friends, I am happy that all editions of Times of India on August 9th carried my article "The religion of Reason" - in their Sunday column "Mind over Matter". It is based on a blog written earlier on CLEAR FUNDAS. As suggested by the editor, I expanded the original blog - you can access this version at the following link.

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=VE9JTS8yMDA5LzA4LzA5I0FyMDIxMDA=&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom

This is the second time in the last few months that something written on CLEAR FUNDAS has been published in TOI. The last occasion was on March 26th, 2009 when my blog on 'Maximizing Happiness" was published in THE SPEAKING TREE on the editorial page (this one had to be abridged and was given a different title).

**********

The last blog on "improving curiosity quotient" produced a spate of responses - most of which were sent to me by e mail instead of posting them on the blog - site.

Let me first tackle the two questions that I had left un-answered.

Why do we give a red carpet welcome?

Suman Bose (his comment has been posted on the blog-site) is absolutely right. Red happens to be the colour of our blood - the most precious thing that we possess. So when we welcome somebody with a red carpet welcome, it signifies the importance we attach to that person and to the act of welcoming him / her.

Why do cell phones have no dial tone?

In land - line phones, 48 Volts DC voltage is provided to the telephone instrument by the "central exchange" of the telephone company. This voltage can be used to produce any audio signal. Telephone companies all over the world choose one of the standard audio signals (we call this the dial tone). You must have noticed that on important days (like the New Years Day for example) the telephone company many a times, provides standard greeting messages (on lifting the receiver of the phone) which keep on repeating themselves. In such cases the greeting message is itself the "dial tone". It stops the moment you start dialing. Since there is no voltage provided as an input to the cell phone instrument from the central exchange of the service provider, there is no "dial tone" in a cell phone. One could of course use the battery of the cellphone to produce an artificial "dial tone" - but this would serve no particular purpose and in fact would drain the battery faster. The wireless signal received by the cellphone instrument from the tower is a good enough confirmation of connectivity.

Since readers have shown such acute interest in these "tellmewhy" questions, let me ask a few more, this week ( for all of you to chew on).

How did the expression "back to square one" originate?
Can someone die of a "broken heart" [induced for example by a girl/boyfriend jilting you)?
Why does only 'February' have 28 or 29 days?
What is the difference between a marriage and a wedding?

Improve your CQ (Curiosity Quotient)

2009-07-30T01:16:00.006+05:30

Psychologists are unanimous that THINKING OUT OF THE BOX (TOB) considerably improves the "success percentage" of a person, irrespective of the vocation that he or she is pursuing. To improve the ability to think out of the box, one needs to acquire two skills: [1] An innovative approach to problem solving & [2] Developing sharp curiosity.

Let's see how sharp your curiosity is? Now be truthful and assess yourself on the following questions.You do not have to read any text book in order to answer these - they aren't from any academic syllabus. Your IQ may be high but do you possess a matching CQ? If you do, nothing can stop you from reaching the "Mount Everest" of whichever profession you are in.

Here are the questions!

[1] Why do we use the term 'by-heart' when the information that we memorize resides in our brain?

[2] Why are communists called 'leftists'?

[3] Why can't we tickle ourselves?

[4] Why is a drawing room called so?

[5] Can animals commit suicide?

[6] Why do we say touch wood?

Now check your answers and give yourself one mark for every correct answer (& a zero for an incorrect one). If your score is 5 or 6, congratulations - your CQ is above average. If it is 3 or 4, well - you need to be more curious, so keep asking questions about everything that is happening around you. If you score 1 or 2, maybe curiosity is not your cup of tea.

At the end, I have asked 2 more questions - Do send me your answers to these!

[1] In our everyday language, we speak of the brain as the center of our faculty of reasoning and of the heart as the center of emotions and personality traits. The idea about our heart being an emotional decision maker is of course not true - it has been floated & nurtured since times immemorial by poets and literateurs in spite of clear proof that the brain itself has two halves that take rational and emotional decisions respectively. We somehow continue to attribute activities performed unconsciously to the heart (since activities involving conscious efforts or reasoning are attributed to the brain). Therefore when a person memorizes something, he is said to have learnt it "by heart" though the information is stored in the brain.

[2] In ancient times, there used to be three divisions in the British Parliament. RIGHTISTS : those who believed in GOD & religion. LEFTISTS: those who did not believe in GOD. CENTRISTS: those who believed in a secular government. The terminology has continued since then.

[3] Research has proved that an element of surprise is essential in order to feel "tickled". When we tickle ourselves, we anticipate our own actions and the element of surprise is missing. This is not so when someone else does it to us.

[4] In the olden days, while males and females in Britain used to have meals on the same dining table, the men wanted the women to leave, once the dinner was over, so that they could have their cigars and wine. The women used to then "withdraw" to a certain room to allow the men to do so. The room was thus originally called "withdrawing room" for many decades before the "with" got dropped (as so often happens to words) and it started getting referred to as the "drawing room".

[5] Psychologists say that the act of suicide means destroying self identity. Since animals have no self identity (and hence an ego) they cannot set about to destroy it. Hence animals cannot commit suicide.

[6] The expression has its origin in Christianity. It has been derived from the wooden cross on which Jesus Christ was crucified. "Wood" was therefore considered holy and was thought to possess divine capability to protect your good luck. .

2 more questions for you: I await your answers.

Why do we give a "red" carpet welcome? (& not a "green" or say "blue" carpet welcome)
Why doesn't a cell phone have a dial tone?

C h e e r s !!!!!!!

You ought to know this

2009-07-20T01:56:00.004+05:30

For those of you who asked me to recommend good books - please click on My library to browse through a list of my all time favourites. Out of the thousands that I have read, I have posted (& keep updating) book - titles and brief comments / ratings of those books that I have tremendously enjoyed. At present there are 69 titles in my list.

R K Narayan (elder brother of cartoonist R. K. Laxman & famous for "Malgudi Days") is an author whose books I just love to read. I specially like the way he re- tells stories from Indian mythology. In his own words, he remains faithful to the original text without commenting on the happenings. Today, I intend to share with you, ( in R K Narayan's own words), the mind boggling assumptions and time frames on the basis of which all these epics have been created.

[1] Brahma, the four faced GOD and creator of the universe, rests on a bed of lotus petals in a state of contemplation and by mere willing, creates everything. He has his own measure of "night" and "day". In the 12 hours that he is awake, he creates the Universe. When Brahma falls asleep, there is total dissolution of everything. Brahma sleeps for 12 hours, then wakes up & the business of creation begins all over again. Please remember, one hour in the life of Brahma is different than what it is for us mortals.

[2] Brahma himself is mortal (now that surprised me no end) and his life span is equivalent to 311,040,000,000,000 human - years at the end of which he is dissolved and nothing is left of the creation or the creator.The sun & stars are put out and oceans rise in gigantic waves that close over the earth. Ultimately even the waters from this deluge evaporate & a tremendous darkness and stillness take over. That is when the supreme GOD emerges. He is called Narayana or Ishwar. The entire cycle of creation and dissolution of the universe is equivalent to just one twinkling of the eye for Narayana.

[3] The universe created by Brahma always passes through four well defined yugas. Each yuga lasts for 1 crore and 8 lac human years. These yugas, as you probably know, are: [a] Kritayuga: Righteousness prevails universally in this yuga. [b] Tretayuga: Righteousness is reduced by one-quarter but sacrifices and ceremonies are given greater emphasis. There is a gradual decrease in austerity and men act with material objectives - no longer doing the rites with a sense of duty. [c] Dwaparyuga: Righteousness is now diminished by one-half. Ceremonies are multiplied, goodness declines, diseases and calamities make their appearance. Some study all four Vedas, others only three, some two and some none. [d] Kaliyuga: Righteousness, virtue & goodness completely disappear. Rites & sacrifices are abandoned as superstitions. Anger, distress, hunger and fear prevail. Rulers behave like highway robbers - seizing power and riches in all possible ways (sounds like the time we are presently living in)

Now that's as grand as anything else I have ever heard.

Friends, what do you think? Should all this be believed or dismissed as flight of imagination? I await your verdict.

Atheist Bus Campaign

2009-07-12T18:00:00.005+05:30

An event which surprisingly has not been prominently reported by Indian newspapers or by our news-hungry-'anything will do' - TV channels is the exponentially growing support that the "Atheist Bus campaign" is getting in UK, USA, Canada and Europe.

What is this campaign?

Various associations of Atheists in UK decided to advertise their viewpoint (just like the church does - exhorting the faithful to follow religious rituals) by purchasing advertisement - space on municipal buses in London. Appeals were sent out to non - believers to coin interesting slogans and also to individually contribute whatever little they could, to finance the campaign.

Richard Dawkins - the famous biologist, admirer of Charles Darwin, author of the best seller "The GOD Delusion" and a self proclaimed "campaigning atheist" announced a matching contribution to the money that was collected from the public. The fund raising had a modest target of Pounds 5000 through public donations. What followed surprised everyone including the organizers. A collection in excess of Pounds 1,00,000 was a clear pointer towards a chord that the appeal had struck. Instead of carrying out the campaign on 40 buses, it was eventually carried out on 200, much to the chagrin of the church who opposed the idea tooth and nail. The church even complained to the advertising authority about how the campaign was in bad taste and would hurt the religious sentiments of many. The adjudicating authority rejected the complaint saying "freedom of expression" was more important. For your information over 80% of the population in UK comprises of believers. (The figure is close to this in USA where in addition, over 90% of the population believes in "miracles". Do you know that USA is the only country which prints "In GOD we trust" on their currency notes?)

We have to give credit to our present government about the way it has handled (till now) the issue of "gays"and section 377. It appears that we as a nation are finally 'coming of age" - but I am sure that if this bus campaign ever comes to India, no municipal corporation would ever take the risk of their buses getting burnt because of such blasphemy.

What were the Slogans?

The two slogans used till now are as follows:

[1] There is probably no god! Now stop worrying and enjoy yourself.

[2] You can be good without god.

The campaign has now spread to USA (Chicago), Canada (Toronto) and threatens to enter Europe and Australia in spite of bitter opposition from the church and local governments.

Thinking logically, the campaign should be welcomed by Hindu majority India because Hinduism is one of the very few religions in the world that officially accepts atheists in its fold (Brahaspati is the presiding deity of atheists, according to Hindu mythology).

Can I have a prediction from all of you about the fate of such a campaign, if it indeed comes to India?

Can you figure this out? (Edition 4)

2009-07-05T21:27:00.009+05:30

The series of "Can you figure this out" always gets the maximum reactions from readers - here's the fourth edition। The previous three can be accessed from the archives (Nov 9th 2008, March 22nd 2009 and April 5th, 2009).

Why is our religion called "Hindu"? Most people to whom I asked this felt that the word must have come from the "Hindu-Kush" mountain ranges in the North - some felt that it has its origins in "Hindi" or even "Hindusthan". The fact is that all these words have been derived from "Hindu" and not the other way around. The real story borders on the comical. Apparently when the Persian army had camped on the banks of river "Sindhu" before invading India, Alexander asked his General the name of the river. Now in Persian (फारसी) language , स is pronounced as ह . So the General promptly told his master that they were on the banks of river "Hindu" - and then it was decreed that people who stayed in the land that lay beyond river "Hindu" were HINDUS.

How did India get its name? Once again many feel that the name is derived from Indus which is the anglicized version of "sindhu". Our country was named India much before the British started their rule. It got its name because the country was the largest exporter, of the colour "indigo".

Did you know that Lord Hanuman had a son? Ramayan tells us that Lord Hanuman had actually fathered (unknown to himself), a son - मकरध्वज. Apparently when Hanuman was in flight, his perspiration fell into the open mouth of a crocodile lazing below in the water. The perspiration was so potent that it impregnated the crocodile and unknown to Hanuman, a son was born. Later, when Hanuman was sent by Ram to save Lakshman who had been captured & kept in the netherworld (पाताल ) by Ahi Ravan, Makardhwaj who was guarding the entrance to the kingdom fought so valiantly with Hanuman that the latter was perplexed how anyone could survive the onslaught of his might. After defeating Makardhwaj with great difficulty, Hanuman was mightily pleased that it was his son who had so stoutly resisted him। Lord Hanuman howerver continues to be the most favourite GOD of the "bachelors".
Did you know that the epic "Mahabharata" contains reference to every conceivable situation except a "divorce"? It has tales of men with many wives (Arjun), a woman with many husbands (Draupadi), women who have sex before marriage (Kunti), women who are unfaithful to their husbands (beheading of Renuka), women who need a man only to have children (Uloopi), women who want men only for pleasure (Urvashi), men who dress as women (Brihanalla), men who force themselves on women (Jayadrath), husbands who are comfortable with their wife going to other men (Pandu), men who become women (Bhangashavana), men who have mistresses ( Dhritrashtra) but none where men have divorced their wife। Does this mean that the concept of divorce is alien to Indian culture? Vyasa, the author of Mahabharata proudly claims that "what is not there in Mahabharata is not there anywhere"
Why did anti-women practices like Sati, Dowry and now female foeticide take root only in India? Its not as if other religions or cultures have not had their gender biases - the church for example burnt 60,000 women on the stake - branding them as witches. Islam continues to treat women as second class citizens. Since it is men who have written religious codes of behaviour, it can be understood why they institutionalised the secondary status to be meted out to women. While Sati was nothing short of murder (induced through religious fervour), female foeticide is a direct result of the bizarre Hindu belief that it is only a son who can give you मोक्ष by lighting your funeral pyre. What pains me is the fact that none of our so called saints ever proclaim that these practices are wrong.

Stay alive after death!

2009-06-11T01:23:00.016+05:30

According to a recently published news item, the Supreme court felt that while deaths could be homicidal, accidental or suicidal in nature, the Indian legal system also recognises the concept of CIVIL DEATH, which can apply to a person who is alive and kicking. The judge explained that as per Hindu laws and customs, a hale and hearty person who performs his own last rites during his lifetime after renouncing the world & taking "sanyas" is legally deemed to be dead.

Now this could indeed lead to very interesting situations. Instead of declaring insolvency (which is such a legal pain) businessmen not wanting to pay their creditors could just cease to legally exist by taking this sanyas - the law surely can't punish the "dead".

A person could now have two death anniversaries - one legal and the other, real. Followers of important national leaders could try and prevail upon their ageing leaders to take "sanyas" since it would eventually lead to two national holidays - making the leader even more popular.

Since this civil death is based on a ritual, a "re-conversion" to normal life would also be possible by another ritual which will soon get invented - if it does not already exist. Now what would happen if such a "sanyasi" returns back to normal life? Could he be officially designated as a ghost? To further complicate matters, what happens if this re-converted sanyasi marries and has children? Would the offspring be known as baby ghosts and would their passports be the first official 'ghost-passports' ever issued ?

We have all heard of married Hindu males getting converted to Islam in order to marry a second time without attracting the long arm of the law (rermember Chand and Fiza). Resorting to 'civil death' could become very popular with income tax evaders. Imagine the income tax defaulter telling the leader of the raiding team that he just "died" an hour ago and then producing the original death certtificate. Shastris performing the ritual of 'sanyas' would be in great demand for they would be the only ones empowered to sign the 'civil death' certificate. Looking at the rush to acquire this qualification, every university will have a AICTE approved post graduate degree to confer upon its students the title of a 'shastri' recognised to prescribe and conduct the process of this 'sanyas'. Leaving IIMs and IITs far behind, this course will acquire a premium of its own and a tough new Joint Entrance Test (JEE) will have to be created to fill the limited seats available. Coaching classes will then overnight spring up at Jhumritalaiya (which will be called the Kota of this JEE) and other places promising a golden future.

It is not difficult to predict that the scheme of such a "death" would eventually become so popular that there would be separate colonies where these persons would stay, raise families (though this is forbidden in 'sanyas', can anyone stop these social and biological urges) work, elect representatives for their parliament, have their own police force, hospitals, schools, judiciary and maybe reservations for different castes (caste certificate issed by the original society will be accepted as sufficient proof) in government and private sectors and have all the other trappings of a normal society except that all this would be for those who have renounced the 'normal' society in which we presently live. Who knows,one day the supreme court of this "parallel community" might announce that it is possible for Hindus to perform religious rites on themselves to once again acquire the status of a person who is alive.

How good a devotee are you?

2009-05-31T17:43:00.007+05:30

Yes, we are indeed talking about devotion to GOD!

Most of us would equate devotion with prostrating before an idol of our favourite GOD or then keeping a "fast" (say on करवा चौथ ) or going to a temple on predetermined days or then carrying out a सत्यनारायण पूजा or going to holy places like Shirdi or attending religious orations (the ultimate fashion these days) . Do you think this is what real devotion is?

(1) Are you confusing devotion with rituals?

All religious rituals are supposed to create the right mental ambience to enable more effective communication with GOD. So, if you are a good devotee, don't feel satisfied at just following the rituals - keep track of the ultimate goal; that of communicating with the ALMIGHTY.

(2) Shouldn't Communication with GOD be strictly personal?

Every individual has to have a personal equation with GOD. This is not something that can be done collectively. Community Projects which require tangible assets (money, clothes, crutches etc.) need to be done collectively because the demand for these far outstrips the supply and a single individual, howsoever rich, will never be able to provide these. Praying to GOD is not a community project - it is an individual and a strictly personal activity and therefore should be done singly. The joint singing of devotional songs (आरती ), consuming the महाप्रसाद and doing जागरण can by no means be classified as PRAYERS. They are at best, group exercises. The moment you realise this truth, you will also realise that praying does not need to have a fixed time or day. There is a permanent hot line of your own, available to you all the time and always at zero cost. Haven't you heard that a first rate mind always thinks alone! A first rate devotee always prays (communicates) alone.

(3) Do you follow religious practices, out of fear of the unknown?

Devotion is not the monopoly of persons who are "religious" by nature. I conducted a small survey (which may not have a statistical significance, but which does indicate a trend) in which the following five questions were asked. Why don't you rate yourself on the same queries? Be truthful, though!

गणेश , the elephant GOD "likes" मोदक (sweet eatable made out of sugar and grated coconut). For a change, will you be comfortable offering श्रीखंड पूरी on the day of गणेश चतुर्थी , this year?
You perform the पूजा everyday, in your house. Will you be willing to give it a weekly holiday?
Your family has been performing the traditional (nine days) नवरात्रि पूजा at home, since the days of your forefathers. This year, can you agree to donate an equivalent amount to an orphanage, instead of celebrating this traditional पूजा?
You go to the शनि मंदिर every Saturday. The coming week, can you go there on a Sunday, instead?
There are two sets of pundits (पुजारी) - those who perform the auspicious "पूजा " and others who perform the religious rituals after a death. Are you willing to invite one of the latter groups to solemnize the marriage in your family?

An overwhelming percentage of respondents were unwilling to do any of this and could not explain why. Ask yourself if you are a good robot or a good devotee?

(4) Are you the type who prays to ask for a favour ?

We sometimes put GOD in an impossible situation. We either want to strike a deal with HIM (I don't know why GOD is always considered male) or want to leave everything to HIM or want to berate HIM for favours supposedly denied. A good devotee prays because he feels "peaceful and contented", after doing so. This state of mind ultimately leads to better performance in whatever you do and these could be the real benefits of devotion.

(5) Do you make it a point to "understand" the philosophy behind the rituals that you carry out?

You will be surprised, but most of our children (and adults too) do not know the full meaning of our own national anthem. Imagine them singing something that they do not fully comprehend. How can we expect them to be filled with pride for the country, if they do not even know what they are uttering? This has been the bane of our education system. Parents do not help their children to understand what they insist the children must compulsorily learn to say (आरती or श्लोक for example), because they were never helped by their own parents to find these meanings. My survey says that more than 60% of the people who sing the most common गणपती ची आरती in Marathi (सुख करता , दुःख हरता …) do not know its meaning. Good devotees recite only what they understand and conversely, first understand what they want to recite.

In conclusion may I remind you of that pearl of wisdom from Mahatma Gandhi?

It is not those who do not have eyes who are blind!

Blind are those who inspite of having eyes refuse to 'see'

Is our attitude towards youth, fair?

2009-05-17T11:42:00.004+05:30

Most elders (say above 45) look towards young people with "coloured glasses". Many of our pet theories about what is wrong (note the negative connotation) with these youngsters can be traced to this attitude that we harbour against the young ones. I can't fathom what happens to us as soon as we step into this side of adulthood. We start being critical of the beliefs and behaviour of the young - fully forgetting that we ourselves, not so long ago, resented this trait in our elders. I am sure that if we bring about a change in our attitude, the younger generation will cease to appear as a bunch of rebels - as it presently does to most of us. Let us examine some of these typical mind-sets that we adults possess:

1) Youth as a Problem versus Youth as an ASSET. Biologically, younger people are stronger and this sometimes builds up a psychological resentment amongst the elders. With rapid progress that science and technology has made, elders sometimes become "obsolete" in their own homes (remember how efficiently your children handle the computer or video games and how sheepish you feel when you can't do it). The oldies react by "downsizing" the young ones just because they can't stomach getting "overshadowed". So, don't rush to the conclusion of youth being a problem. Try to make use of their superior strength and smartness so that they are an asset to you. This change in attitude will do wonders for both.

2) Youth as UPSTARTS and breakers of traditions versus youth as harbingers of change. Nothing is permanent except change. The dynamism and energy that the young ones possess make them try out various alternatives to a given problem (in a short time) and we sometimes interpret this as disrespect for the traditional approach adopted by us. No risks - no gains, they say. Many path-breaking discoveries have come about only because somebody decided to try something new. We all agree that without change, our society will wither. Why not think of the young ones as harbingers of change instead of berating them as upstarts? Try this change in attitude--it will do wonders for both.

3) Youth as morally corrupt versus recognition of the fact that moral standards could have changed. If you read history and literature written down the ages, you will realize that every generation has condemned its youth as morally corrupt. At this rate, the youth of today should be corrupt beyond all limits. But if you look at this from a different angle, you will realize that every succeeding generation has had slightly looser definition of moral standards of behaviour. With the onset of AIDS, this trend seems destined for a reversal. Soon, each succeeding generation will be more prudish. The “pendulum” of social norms would have then come back a full circle. Someone has said in a lighter vein that parents are not so concerned with why norms of moral behaviour changed but about why this happened so late?

4) Youth as selfish versus youth as responsive to only problems concerning themselves. A large percentage of adults feel that the young ones are selfish and show interest only if something concerns them. Being selfish is not a vice though being excessively so is not a virtue either. We must realize that a young mind lives in the immediate "present" and is more concerned with what's happening "here and now", as against "there and then". It is natural that it gets involved with its own problems rather than those of others. Later in life it realizes that solving others' problems leads to a greater satisfaction. Surely we can't blame the youth for immaturity -after all they are young.

5) Youth as disrespectful versus youth as more knowledgeable. All generations have complained about the young ones being disobedient and disrespectful towards their elders. It is difficult to digest that the younger mind is better informed and would not want to respect those elders who clearly appear less knowledgeable. Before accepting this theory, I would request all of us to truthfully assess whether in a given situation, we indeed are being confronted by a better informed mind. If it is so - let's not blame the whole generation. Respect is earned and cannot be demanded.

So my dear fellow - oldies! Let's resolve to stop looking through these coloured glasses and re-examine our pet attitudes and biases before forming an opinion about the young. Remember, the younger we are, the more we want to change this world; the older we get, the more we want to change the young. Let's remain perennially "young" in our thoughts.

I came across these unbelievable videos shared by Arvind Virmani, my IIM batchmate. They are symptomatic of the power of youth that we are talking about though frankly there is no age bar when it comes to befriending lions. E N J O Y...

Can you figure this out? (Edition 3)

2009-05-04T00:38:00.018+05:30

So strong has been the response to the earlier two editions of "Can you figure this out?" [published on CLEAR FUNDAS on 11th September 2008 and 22nd March 2009] that I decided to post EDITION 3. Read on...

(1) Does celibacy increase spirituality?

Every religion gives a lot of importance to celibacy when it comes to choosing their preachers. As examples, we have nuns and priests amongst Roman Catholics & "sadhvis" amongst Jains. Is there any research study that indicates a positive correlation between celibacy and high spirituality? Suppressing natural urges in an unnatural manner should actually lead to problems - we all know how the church had to settle (out of court) hundreds of cases against priests who sexually abused children in their parish. The original purpose of having un - married preachers was surely due to the expectation of single-minded devotion (without family pressures) to spread religion. Surprisingly, Hinduism does not insist on lifelong bachelorhood for its preachers.

(2) In a predominantly Hindu country like India, why are the epics "Ramayan" & "Mahabharat" not included in the syllabus of "History" in schools and universities?

Isn't it surprising that these pious stories on which all of us have been raised since childhood are not included in 'history' syllabus anywhere? Every university has a department of "ancient history" but even there, these epics are never taught or researched upon. Is it because there is little or no evidence that could stand academic scrutiny?

(3) Why do we lock our temples?

Isn't it strange that GOD who is the "PROTECTOR" of everything in this world cannot take care of himself? Leave alone rich temples which have many items that could be stolen - even those that have nothing much to attract thieves - are securely locked. How come all devotees presume that the same GOD would be capable of granting all their wishes when they come and pray to HIM in the same temple.

(4) Is the caste system any different from racism?

I have heard many Hindus fervently explaining why the caste system started and how scientific it is - in terms of division of labour. They are never able to explain why large sections of people were mercilessly exploited for centuries, on the basis of their birth - something that was out of their control. I have never heard of any Hindu religious leader apologise to vast sections of fellow Hindus or those who left the fold of Hinduism (more importantly fellow human beings) for the treatment that was meted out to their forefathers- ironically in the name of divinity and religion. I see little difference between our caste system and racism that is practiced elsewhere.

(5) Why was Lord Ganesh given an elephant - head?

As the story goes, after creating Ganesh out of her body-dirt, he was instructed by Parvati to prevent intruders while she was taking a bath. True to his duty, Ganesh challenged Lord Shiva from coming inside the house. Shiva in his anger beheaded Ganesh but after finding out his identity, revived him from death and stuck the head of a passing elephant on to his torso. Now what intrigues me is that if Shiva had the power to revive people after death, he could also have stuck the original human - head back on to Ganesh's body. Why did he have to kill a passing elephant? More importantly how come the all powerful Lord Shiva did not know who Ganesh was?

(6) Why is it necessary for a crow [& not some other animal] to touch the "pind" (balls of cooked rice that represent the departed sould during post death Hindu rituals) of a dead person, essential?

The crow has indeed been given this important task of pecking at the rice balls to indicate that un fulfilled wishes of the departed person have now been satisfied. It is a common practice for relatives of the dead making various announcements during this ritual [eg. Your daughter will be well looked after and so on] until the crow pecks at the rice balls. According to Ramayan, when Sita was once bathing at Nashik (when Ram was banished to the forests for 14 years) a crow looked at her with impure intentions. Ram then cursed all crows that they would forever be despised & shunned by humans. When the crows begged for mercy, Ram partially offset the curse by proclaiming that human beings would not be able to complete post death rituals without their help.That is how the poor crow gets his moment of glory. Now go ahead & believe all this and continue waiting for crows to peck at those rice balls.

(7) How can GOD be omniscient (knowing everything about everyone's present and future: having infinite knowledge and insight) & omnipotent (supremely powerful to do anything) at the same time?

I quote Richard Dawkins: " If God is omniscient, he must already know how he is going to intervene to change the course of history using his omnipotence - but that means he cannot change his mind about his intervention - which really means that he is not omnipotent."

Karen Owen has captured this paradox in a witty verse:

Can omniscient God,

Who knows the future,

Find the omnipotence,

To change his Future mind!

Is Astrology logical?

2009-04-21T22:51:00.006+05:30

Show me a person who does not want to know what the future has in store? Astrology therefore commands a universal fascination. I often wonder why this ancient art has not yet acquired the status of a “shastra” & also how, without having demonstrable and provable hypotheses, it is being taught as a subject in some universities?

The horoscope which shows the planetary positions at the moment of a child’s birth is in itself a scientific document (this is “astronomy", though). This forms the basis of all astrological predictions. What appears irrational is the claim made about the effect that these planetary positions are supposed to have on the life of an individual. Which of the following should be taken as the “time” for preparing the horoscope? [a] the moment at which the child was born or [b] the moment at which it was conceived. If one opts for the former (as is usually done) then one has to conclude that (1) the distant planets have no say during the nine months that the child is in the mothers’ womb and (2) one can determine ones destiny by deciding the time of ones birth.

But let us leave all this aside for a moment; let us presume that present day science is not advanced enough to explain the effect that planets have on ones destiny.

All sciences started off as empirical set of rules. This means that in given circumstances, some conclusions were so consistent that they were called “rules” or “theorems”. Like when Newton noticed that every time he let go of an object, it fell down. So this became a rule, without his knowing why it so happened. Explanations for the event were found later. Another example was the movement of the sun. While it was noticed that it always rose in the East and set in the West, it was realized much later that this was because of the earth's’ rotation around the sun.

It is not necessary for all scientific findings to be 100% consistent. Medical science has many examples of the same treatment producing different results in different persons. For a set of empirical rules or theorems to acquire the status of “science”, it is similarly not necessary to be 100% consistent. There are statistical techniques which will prove a hypothesis with a certain “degree of confidence”. If this degree is sufficiently high, then the hypothesis is accepted as a scientific law. There are “perfect sciences” like Physics or Chemistry where this degree of confidence is indeed 100% but there are other “softer sciences” like Psychology where the degree of confidence is lower and yet these hypotheses are widely accepted.

Does astrology have such hypotheses, which can be proved with an acceptable, statistical “degree of confidence"??

Suppose we work backwards and note down known events like marriage, death, monetary position, vocation, family size and many others, in the life of a large enough sample of individuals. Statisticians will tell us how large a sample size is required to validate the findings of this experiment. Astrologers could now demonstrate how a certain planetary position at the time of birth could have consistently forecast this known event to occur when it actually did. This exercise could be expanded to test a number of astrological hypotheses on the basis of known events. If all these could be proved with an acceptable “degree of confidence”, well, astrology would get the status of an empirical “science”.

Presently we have three distinct groups of individuals in society.

The first is of course the one which swears by astrology but which would not subject its beliefs to any scientific scrutiny (education and designations have no role to play here - we have Prime ministers as well as beggars in this group). They will cite example after example to demonstrate how astrology predicted something correctly.

The second group comprises of those who are vehemently opposed to what they think is so much “mumbo – jumbo”. They will cite numerous examples about how astrology could not predict something correctly and how ridiculous even the basic assumption of planets affecting someone's’ destiny is. Incidentally the doctor standing near the child during its birth exercises a higher gravitational pull on the child than any planet does. Shouldn’t the doctor also therefore determine the child’s destiny?

There is a third and the largest group of persons who are “sitting on the fence”. They surreptitiously read astrological predictions but outwardly show that they do so for the sake of entertainment. They hope against hope that the good predictions come true and the bad ones don't. Many websites, magazines and newspapers publish astrological predictions regularly to attract clients.

It may be of great interest to readers that according to the famous Reader’s Digest BOOK OF FACTS, (Page 395), two 20^th century French researchers Michel Gauquelin and his wife Francoise spent 20 years of their lives investigating this very subject, and I quote hereafter:

QUOTE:

They examined the birth data of more than 40,000 people throughout Europe to try to find correlation between birth signs, jobs and personalities. Their computerized findings were published in 1983 and their rejection of astrology was total. There was not one piece of evidence, they concluded, to show that it was anything but a sham – despite the efforts of astrologers to prove otherwise. It is now quite certain stated Gauqueline that the signs in the sky which preside over our births have no power whatsoever to decide our fates, to affect our heredity or characteristics, or to play any part, however humble, in our lives. UNQUOTE

Astrologers should either undertake a scientific study to prove their hypotheses or gracefully abandon the pursuit of what the rationalists have always derided. Why Life Insurance companies and police departments all over the world do not take the help of astrology has always remained a mystery.

Can your figure this out? (Edition 2)

2009-03-22T20:59:00.011+05:30

In edition 1 of "Can you figure this out" (blog published in November 2008), I had posted 7 questions & many of you had written to me how enjoyable and perplexing those queries were. Here is some more food for thought.

(1) Why has a coconut been given the pride of place in Hindu rituals? It is in fact called "shreephal" - but do you know why a coconut has been awarded this numero uno status. Many years ago (when human civilization had hardly progressed) it was common practice to offer "human sacrifice" to propitiate GOD who was offered an "abhishek" of blood from the victim. Later, a coconut was chosen to replace this reprehensible ritual. It resembled a human skull (hair, eyes, hard exterior) which when smashed gave milk that was now used to offer the abhishek. So remember, everytime you offer a coconut in a temple you are symbolically offering a "human sacrifice". Why not take a bunch of grapes or some bananas next time? I am not sure however if that would be looked at kindly by others.

(2) Why are cases of rebirth never reported from Muslim or Buddhist families? How come all "reported" cases of someone remembering things from their previous birth are from amongst Hindus? It is another matter that none of these cases have ever been proved genuine. Hindus are virtually brainwashed right from childhood that this is what happens & the form that you take in the next birth is a reward (or punishment) of the acts that you committed in the previous birth. The Muslims or Buddhists do not believe that this happens and hence there are never any cases of "rebirth" reported from these communities. See the kind of games our mind can play on us.

(3) Why are Hindu priests who perform rituals after death not allowed to perform other "auspicious" rituals? The pecking order is clear - the former are at a lower heirarchy & are not allowed to perform marriages, for example. I can understand "death" as an inauspicious event but how can the priest become ineligible? Why create such a "caste system" even amongst Brahmins? I think it is a clear case of "commercially preserving ones turf" by the "auspicious" segment. The actual reasons given (they can handle only "unclean" events) are pure hog wash।

(4) Why are there no Hindu rituals for men to get the same wife in future "births"? While there are many for women (करवा चौथ for example) there is no similar ritual for men. Does this mean that the men are actually not very keen to have the same partners in the next birth? A friend once pointed out the bizarre situation that this can theoretically lead to. Imagine a devout Hindu wife who lived a pious life and prayed for the same husband in the next birth. Her husband however was a scoundrel in this birth itself & neither prayed nor wanted the same partner in the next birth. Lets say the husband gets re - born as a donkey ( punishment) while the lady is re-born again as a lady (getting re-born as a human is considered a reward for having lived a good life earlier). Now since the lady had prayed to marry the same husband, she has to marry the donkey.

(5) How does one explain instances of sages eating beef in Hindu mythology? In mythological stories (which are otherwise quoted extensively) there are instances of sages eating and offering non vegetarian food including beef, to their guests. I have never heard this aspect being mentioned or debated.

(6) Why did GODs have to marry in order to beget children? This never ceases to puzzle me. If GODs created human beings, why did they have to themselves marry in order to beget children. This idea of marriage is so "earthly" and "human" that I suspect that it is human beings who have created GODs.

(7) Why do we worship "shiva - linga" (शिव लिंग ) ? Why was it ordained that such a private part of the anatomy be worshipped? In spite of being a conservative community, how could we have permitted devotees, especially our womenfolk, to worship this? So explicit is the idol in temples that I fail to see any symbolism in it - even if there is one. Mythological stories explaining this are so pornographic that they cannot be recounted except in an X-rated environment.

Maximize Happiness

2009-03-08T00:15:00.013+05:30

Good business schools have now realised that it is not enough to train managers on how to maximize wealth. Successful persons need to possess skills to maximize happiness - their own and of those around them.

We must first differentiate between happiness and joy (or pleasure). On a warm summer day, drinking a glass of cold lemon juice gives you great pleasure - your favourite perfume gives you great joy - even scratching a bodily itch gives you immense pleasure. Pleasure is thus momentary and sensory. Happiness, on the other hand, is "mental" and therefore infinitely more powerful. Can you measure your happiness at having stood first in a tough examination or having beaten your traditional rivals in a sport or for that matter when your children surpass your own achievements?

Are human beings happier today than what they were, say, fifty years ago? I am not sure about the answer. All the technological progress that we have achieved may not have necessarily contributed to increasing our happiness quotient. How does one then go about maximizing happiness??

(1) Identify what makes you happy!

This is a tough one! I have met very few people who are clear in their minds about what will make them happy. Since they are blissfully unclear about their objectives, they live a perennially unhappy life. Take a piece of paper and start writing what will make you happy. Don't generate "motherhood is good" type of statements & remember, a legitimate GOAL is specific, quantifiable, measurable, "achievable and challenging" (this last is not a contradiction).

(2) Compete against yourself !

A very interesting study conducted at Harvard Business School demonstrated that people are happier when their wealth is more than their compatriots. In this study respondents were asked to choose between the following two situations: [a] You get an annual salary of $ 1,00,000 while your compatriot gets $ 75,000; [b] You get an annual salary of $ 1,50,000 while your compatriot gets $ 1,75,000. Though the salary was more in the second case, respondents overwhelmingly preferred the first alternative thereby demonstrating that it is relative prosperity (and not absolute prosperity) that is perceived to be important. This could indeed turn out to be a major cause of un - happiness. Why not compete with oneself to constantly improve instead of grieving over someone elses' better performance?

(3) Don't expect everyone to agree with you!

Most of us equate disagreement with enmity in spite of knowing that intelligent people rarely agree on anything (because all have their own perspective and the necessary intellectual firepower to put it across). So if disagreement is going to make you unhappy you have yourself to blame. By all means try and convince the other person about your point of view but if he wants to remain where he is, let him be - discuss something else.

(4) Live your life according to your own beliefs!

After achieving financial independence, intellectual independence must follow. How long are you going to live your own life according to what someone else tells you? Life is anyway too short for you to afford this luxury. Implement your beliefs without inconveniencing others & be happy at finally having become responsible for ones own actions.

(5) Live in the PRESENT (here & now)!

The past is dead & gone - it needs to be peeped into only to learn from the mistakes that we committed. Yes go ahead and DREAM about the future but you can't enjoy it until someday it becomes your 'present'. Only "TODAY" is capable of giving you the maximum happiness - so concentrate on it. Don't postpone enjoyment - try and experience it today.

(6) Increase the number of sources of your happiness!

Gardening, singing, playing an instrument, exercising, meditating, having a healthy sexual life, counseling, making friends, watching 20/20, listening to Jagjit Singh... are all what I call sources of happiness. More the sources, more will be the happiness.

(7) Limit your desires!

All of us get caught in that vicious circle of : Motor cycle - Maruti 800 - Accent - Skoda - Mercedes - Cessna and so on....If you are buying these things to give you happiness, you will soon realise that it is short lived. I agree to the wag who said that luxury must be experienced once to realise how un necessary it really is... To put it more scientifically, incremental benefits [as you climb up this value chain of materialism] are not at all worthwhile for the incremental cost that you have to shell out. Limiting desires judiciously (without under performing) is therefore one of the most effective ways of increasing your happiness quotient.

(8) Forget & Forgive!

In any situation remember to do your best and forget the rest. Forgiving your opponents who played dirty may not make you a winner but it would surely make you happier. Jealousy and prolonged anger have long ago been identified by psychologists as agents of death.

(9) Keep your curiosity alive & kicking!

People who vigorously retain the childlike habit of asking questions in order to seek answers about why things happen the way they do, are happy on two counts (a) because they have a sense of achievement when they get the answer; and (b) this process keeps them from ageing.

(10) Shun HYPOCRISY!

We are a nation high on hypocrisy. We will worship godesses but burn brides for dowry. We will keep our courtyard clean but dump the garbage in the neighbours compound when no one is looking. We will demand respect but won't give it so easily. Hypocrisy leads to unhappiness because in his heart the perpetrator knows that he is a sham.

(11) Spend a lot of time with people younger than you!

Their happiness rubs off on you. It is indeed a zero cost way of increasing your happiness.

(12) Give! Give! Give!

Give a smile, advice, cheer, money, help or just company. This is an age old puzzle. Giving normally reduces your assets but giving away happiness actually increases your own inventory - try it out...

Here's wishing you tons and tons of happiness!!

Unusual Surveys & Bizarre information

2009-02-26T00:00:00.010+05:30

In the last six months we have run (on this blog) four opinion polls on various issues. I am sharing these results with you, today. The number of respondents has varied between 55 and 80 for each of these polls – so the results may not really be statistically significant. This lack of quantity has however amply been compensated by the high IQ of readers of CLEAR FUNDAS. The results (published later in reverse chronological order) surely provide a lot of “food for thought”.

But before that, I wanted to share some interesting and entertaining information that some other surveys (information obtained from WORKMAN PUBLISHING COMPANY USA) have thrown up. I am sure you will enjoy reading this. [Comments in brackets at the end of the paragraphs are mine].

(A) Tools of the trade: Folks in the 1920s looking to improve their vigor and sexual performance were helped by the Electro Thermal Company of Stubenville, Ohio and the GHR Electric Dialator Company of Grand Rapids, Michigan. These companies successfully marketed the Thermalaid & the G-H-R Electric Dialator, respectively. Both of these devices were narrow medical rods attached to power sources. They were designed to be placed in the rectum – to warm the prostate and stimulate the “abdominal brain”. Life was surely rough in those pre-Viagra days. [We have made so much progress today that I understand we are soon going to have “Viagra” eye drops so that people could take a good hard look at issues.]

(B) Foreign accent syndrome: This is a rare medical disorder that usually occurs as a side effect of severe brain injury. Patients with a stroke or other head injury are left speaking their own native language with a foreign-sounding accent. One of the first and more widely known cases was reported in 1941, when a Norwegian woman suffered a brain injury after a shrapnel-wound during a World War II air raid. She experienced severe language problems but eventually recovered, speaking with a perceived German accent. Unfortunately, adding insult to injury, this did not endear her to her neighbours and she was ostracized by her community. [Though the reverse of a hypothesis is never true, could we say that those who speak in a contrived foreign accent must be suffering from maybe an invisible “injury in the head?”].

(C) The Lap (top) dance: According to a study in sexuality research and social policy, women who meet men online seem to be more likely to have sex on their first date. The study surveyed 568 women who said they’d go out with a man they met on the Internet. The authors of the study postulate that the “high frequency and intensity of e mail communication prior to meeting in person cultivated acceleration of intimacy for the individuals involved. [And I always thought that geeks who spent hours on the computers could never “win” against those “smart” guys who preened themselves to become sure winners amongst girls]

(D) A Computerised expression: How many times have we had to tell a telephone caller to call later because the concerned person was in the “toilet”? The computer nerds have now developed a “modern” expression for the same. It goes something like this. Can I ask him to call you back – “he’s downloading some brownware just now” [I am reminded of what Bob Hope once said – “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom]

(E) What’s the fastest growing hair on your body?

Head hair 0.35 mm per day
Facial hair 0.30 mm per day
Underarm hair 0.30 mm per day
Pubic hair 0.20 mm per day
Eyebrows 0.16 mm per day

____________________________________________________________________

And now for the results of polls on CLEAR FUNDAS

Poll 4

What would be your reaction to the paid ad campaign on 800 buses in UK by British Humanist Association that says "There's probably no GOD! Now stop worrying & enjoy your life"

I'm not concerned. It's their money and their idea 36%
This should be reported to authorities as an ad in bad taste 05%
The ad hurts my religious feelings & should be removed 05%
No ads either in favour or against GOD should be allowed 16%
I endorse the statement. Atheism is not a crime 38%
____________________________________________________________________

Poll 3

Which according to you, will substantially Improve India’s ability to take on terrorism?

Quick trial & capital punishment to guilty 22%

Home & Defense ministers should be professionals
from army/police 16%

Place elite commandos at multiple locations to enable

reaching any part of India in 2 hours 10%

Compulsory one year military training for all youth 19%
Equip police with latest weapons 33%
___________________________________________________________________

Poll 2

Which should benefit India the most?

Uniform civil code for all religions 20 %
Full computerization of land records 13 %
Reduction of massive backlog in court cases 17 %
Quick, exemplary punishment to the corrupt 32 %
Strict implementation of one - child norm 09 %
Strong measures to reduce superstitions 09 %

____________________________________________________________________
Poll 1

Which according to you will be the most effective way of reducing political corruption in India???

Audit accounts of a political party and tax the surplus 16%
Extend full/part tax exemption to donations to political parties by cheque 04%

Add "none of the above" in ballot papers & if this wins, bar all candidates
from contesting for next five years 28%

Give voters the right to recall an earlier elected MLA / MP 20%

Divide the police department into "Law & Order" and "crime investigations"
with the latter headed by a professional with no political master 32%

____________________________________________________________________

Pramod Muthalik - our saviour!

2009-02-16T00:37:00.005+05:30

Pramod Muthalik of Sri Ram Sena has undoubtedly become an instant hero in the country. All that he did to receive about 30000 pieces of brand new pink lady-underwears was to call a press conference and announce that St. Valentine was India’s biggest cultural enemy & that women can’t go to pubs in Hindu India. Many businessmen are marveling at this simple technique to raise seed capital from the market – you can’t scoff at 30000 underwears worth about Rs 20 lacs. A delegation of All India Pink Underwear Manufacturers Association has reportedly requested Muthalik to continue his campaign well after Feb 14th – they all believe this is working out much better than any financial package announced by the government to tackle recession. Sensing a great business opportunity, manufacturers of lipsticks, noodle strap blouses, bikinis & other “corrupting” feminine cosmetics (all of which are symbols of depravity that threaten the भारतीय नारी ) have requested the protesting women’s groups to change the underwear agenda and appeal to their members to hereafter send some of these other offending articles to Mr. Muthalik. The Ram Sena in the meantime, has declared that they will be donating all underwears to inmates of poor people homes – I wonder how those women will recognize which piece belongs to whom from a large number of similar looking pink underwears hanging on the clothesline.

Recognizing the enormous potential of this idea that does not use any government resources to stimulate the economy, the Indian Manufacturers Association recently held an all-India quiz to generate innovative ideas to provide Mr. Muthalik more issues to continue a relentless campaign against all enemies of Indian culture. I am reproducing herewith the five prize winning entries.

[1] Blowing off candles on birthdays will be banned because extinguishing a burning lamp [जलती हुई ज्योत] of any kind is inauspicious. (All manufacturers of electric bulbs are rubbing their hands in glee as switching off a bulb is culturally acceptable).

[2] The pornographic carvings at Khajuraho can be viewed only by couples who show an authenticated copy of their marriage registration certificate. Those who cannot produce this will be instantly married off, there itself.

[3] Saying “good morning” or “good evening” etc will be considered culturally incorrect. Suitable local alternatives will have to be used with immediate effect.

[4] All married Hindu women must wear a RED kumkum & a mangalsutra with the requisite number of black beads. Husbands of those women who do not do this will be beaten up to instantly prove the bad effects of not wearing these.

[5] Consumption of Coke & Pepsi will be banned. “Cowpee” the new health drink, introduced by RSS and made from cow – urine will be the only cold drink available throughout the country.

Mr. Muthalik is reported to have appealed to all Indian parents to allow at least one male child from the family to join the Ram Sena. He further said that he required many hands to help him implement this important national agenda of preventing our great Indian culture from getting corrupted.

Ghajini - a review

2009-01-11T02:53:00.005+05:30

This time, for a change, I thought of posting a film - review written by my elder son Dr. Amit Shesh, who apart from being a movie buff is an assistant professor in Computer Graphics at Illinois State University. I & my wife Alka are presently staying with him at Normal Illinois USA and we saw "GHAJINI" together.
I like his incisive writing and you could visit his blog at http://www.amitshesh.blogspot.com/ for many other film reviews and writings.

So here goes...

G H A J I N I

Watch Ghajini, if not for the story, then just to see Aamir Khan in a role you have never seen him in.Ghajini, as is popularly touted, is an out-and-out masala action thriller. But the basic premise is interesting as well--a person with extreme short-term memory loss trying to avenge the death of a dear one. Its the short-term memory loss part that is both intriguing and controversial, as Ghajini shares this theme with a popular Hollywood movie, Memento.After having seen both, I'm inclined to say that although the basic premise of both movies is the same, the makers of Ghajini have added enough originality in the script to make it substantially different from Memento. While the strengths of Memento were its extremely innovative screenplay and the convoluted plot, the strengths of Ghajini are its rawness, intensity and performances. In any case a direct rip-off of Memento would never work in Hindi.What makes Ghajini stand apart is the sheer ruthlessness of the character of Aamir Khan post his tragedy. The whole movie is centered around the fact that the protagonist develops an almost animal-like instinct to hunt and kill while simultaneously forgetting the very purpose of being that way. Every day for Sanjay Singhania begins with being puzzled at where he is, and then reading the clues that he has left for himself to remind what the new purpose of his life is.The two strengths of the movie are its screenplay, and Aamir Khan. The current story and the flashback making the current story relevant are woven very nicely in the movie, especially the way in which the flashback is woven into the narration. This is further enhanced by some slick editing that keeps the audience gripped for most of the movie. Particularly impressive are the seemingly irritating and faulty parts of the movie that eventually reveal their purpose in the overall scheme of things. The short-term memory loss could have left too many threads unfinished given Bollywood's conventional inability to be logical, but the script is watertight for the most part and that is commendable.This role is a first for Aamir Khan, and he comes close to playing a double-role. His previous and current selves are extremely contradictory, and as good as Aamir Khan has been in romantic roles, I was always left wanting for more of his murderous side. Like Saif in Omkara, Aamir's appearance does half the convincing about he being a killing machine. The other half of course, are Aamir's extremely intense moments in the movie where he acts animalistic, revengeful and almost insane simultaneously. And its one of the rare movies in Bollywood, where shots about the protagonist exercising and flexing his muscles are very relevant to setting up his character, and not simply a crowd-pulling stunt. For his killings are quite raw. Some of the action sequences are very filmy, but overall Aamir Khan's character does look invincible.The romantic flashback of the movie, although critical to the story, proves to be the bane. Some sequences are stretched too much possibly to make the movie an all-encompassing entertainer, and leave the audience wanting for the original focus of the movie--revenge. And the songs are especially distracting. Not only are they insipid to listen to, they unnecesarily portray Aamir Khan as a muscular lover-boy. I would much rather watch him kill a couple more :-)The film also seems somewhat incomplete because the two facets of Sanjay Singhania's character are not linked together enough. It is a given that he transforms from a quiet suave businessman to a killer; no elaboration is provided on how this transformation takes place, and why he has taken it upon himself to avenge the tragedy.In spite of these shortcomings, Ghajini is eminently watchable for its good screenplay, taut script and good acting. At last an action movie that is not completely filmy!

Why are divorce rates in India so low??

2009-01-01T09:13:00.015+05:30

Divorce rate in any group is usually measured in terms of "number of divorces in a year per 1000 married women". We do not know however if the available data on "divorces" in different countries has indeed been calculated according to this standard definition. In USA, (the world's divorce "capital" - if I may call it so) this rate is measured in terms of percentage of new marriages that end up in divorce in the first three years. Whichever way you look at it the rate of divorces in India is the LOWEST.

Against 54% in USA, the rate of divorces in India is just 1.4%.

It is 37% in Canada, 39% in Germany, 43% in UK, 43% in Russia & 55% in Sweden. In Japan however it is only 2%. Does it then have something to do with Eastern vs the Western culture? I think it does.... though I am not sure if it is going to remain so...

Culture: In India, marriages are expected to last a life time. Ceremonies like karvaa chauth (करवा चौथ) or worshipping the banyan tree (वड सावित्री पूजा ) are supposedly powerful prayers to GOD to ensure that the couple remains married to each other in this and seven subsequent rebirths. It is a different matter though that both these rituals are meant only for women - does it mean that we Hindu men have a lurking desire to seek another partner in another birth (isn't variety the spice of life?). Though the attitude is gradually changing, divorced people are still looked down upon by the society. Divorce is undoubtedly looked upon as absolutely the last resort (especially by women) and there are still couples who would rather stay apart without divorcing than obtaining a legal separation.

Financial empowerment: Since India is such a male dominated society and since women (especially rural women) are rarely financially independent, I feel many of them choose to continue suffering bad husbands (and hence don't get included in the divorce statistics) instead of facing the "outside world", which for a single woman, could be even worse. In the western world, women are equally literate and financially sound as men and therefore have much lesser hesitation in dissolving a bad marriage. In the next fifty years or so, Indian women are expected to "catch up" (the urban ones already have) with males and I predict that divorce rates would then shoot up. If in spite of empowering our women, the divorce rates remain lower than in the west, then surely we could ascribe this to our strong family based culture.

Importance of a family: In recent years the church has often been reminding its followers in the West that the "family" is an important social unit and must be preserved. In the western society, most children leave their parents around the time they pass out of high school. Thereafter parents have virtually no role to play in major decisions in the life of their offspring. Parents do not expect their children to take care of them in their old age (because these parents had not shouldered this responsibility for their parents). Since divorce rates are above 50%, there are good chances that parents might get divorced and marry new spouses - the children themselves in the meantime could have married and divorced. The original family could thus be in tatters -unrecognizable and sometimes impersonal. Add to this concoction, live-in relationships & multi racial marriages and you could see why so many people have a number of half and even one-fourth (though they are never called so) brothers and sisters
& cousins (President -elect Obama for example has many half brothers and sisters). The Indian family (though under tremendous strain with increasing industrialization) is still a comparatively cohesive unit on which members can fall back upon in difficult times. It is ironical that while we are blindly aping the wrong western practices, they are looking up to our strong family ties as a role model.

Importance of having children: The birth rate in India is 24.8 per 1000 (death rate is 8.7 per 1000) while that in USA is 14.2 per 1000 (death rate is 8.9 per 1000). In some European countries there has been a net decline in population because there are more deaths than births in any given year. Governments there offer incentives to citizens to produce more children (In a lighter vein, I often wonder why they don't outsource this to India). Indians look upon children as a "support in their old age and a son is even today more valuable than a daughter. I do not know of another country (I may be wrong here) that makes it legally mandatory for children to take care of their old parents. As long as India continues to produce more children per 1000, it will also automatically strive to preserve the family system (which nurtures children) and this would keep the divorce rate low.

Attitude towards 'SEX' : In India, marriage is still a socially approved licence to fulfill this biological need. Various surveys have however concluded that this assumption has "crumbled" in urban areas. The average age for the first sexual experience in India has apparently come down to 14 in metropolitan cities - but I would still venture to say that pre-marital sex though on the rise has still not become as fashionable and therefore rampant, as in the west. Youngsters who have grown up in an environment where pre marital sex is not unduly frowned upon, cannot suddenly change their mindset after marriage. Westerners therefore look at 'sex' more "biologically" and less emotionally than their eastern counterparts. A society that has more of this biological attitude (feel thirsty - quench it) is bound to have a larger number of strained marriages due to higher infidelity. So until India continues to societally frown on pre marital sex and sex -outside marriage, its divorce rates are likely to remain lower. Increasing prosperity will of course increase personal independence and an independent person will be less afraid of "societal" or even "parental" frowning that we are talking about.

In conclusion, I am sure that increasing prosperity (GDP per capita), increasing women empowerment (higher literacy and incomes) and crumbling of the traditional family system is bound to increase divorce rates in India - societies react similarly to similar situations and we are bound to follow what the westerners went through during their upward economic march. It is then that the great Indian culture will face its most severe test.

Americans do some things very differently!

2008-12-19T11:25:00.008+05:30

I have lived in the homes of at least 25 American families & it still amazes me how certain things are done very differently in USA (as compared to us in India).

[1] Electric switches in that country need to be pushed "up" to be switched ON [2] the traffic moves on the right side of the road [3] stepneys (spare tyres) in the cars are smaller than the other four tyres [4] almost all drivers will STOP & then proceed at intersections even when they can see nobody coming in from any direction [5] people will smilingly wave their hands at perfect strangers [6] they will use the Internet to find out any & every thing including the time at which the next city bus will arrive in front of their house situated on one of those non-descript streets [7] pedestrians can themselves switch on the "red" traffic light before crossing the road [8] every floor of a hotel has an ice cube machine - the cubes are copiously used [9] one drinks water straight from the tap - in hotels one is advised to do so from the tap in the wash basin -something which Indians can never digest [10] ordinary corn flakes are eaten without sugar [11] people actually believe in weather forecasts and act accordingly [12] the country uses FPS (ounces, pounds, miles, Fahrenheit) system even today [13] handicapped people can automatically get into and out of city buses sitting on their wheelchairs (with a mechanised platform that moves in and out of the bus and which is controlled by the driver through an electric switch) [14] city buses and some trains have a special facility to load bicycles inside or in a rack in the front of the bus [15] when new born babies are transported back home from the hospital, the parents have to buy a special seat and learn how to strap the baby inside that - parents are actually not allowed to carry the baby home without the nurse certifying that they are adept at this [16] presidential election results in a particular state are declared even when voters in another part of the country are yet to vote [17] public libraries lend latest books and CDs absolutely free of cost- you just have to produce a proof of residence.

All these however pale into insignificance compared to the system that is prevalent to handle death in a family. I once stayed in the house of a "funeral director" and what I learnt there remains etched in my memory - so different it is to what we are used to...

(1) One has to obtain a licence to function as a funeral director and have enough working space in the office to embalm and store dead bodies in a mini - morgue (refrigerated facility).

(2) A funeral director is like a "turn key" service provider who takes care of everything related to a funeral like (a) booking a burial place; (b) selling coffins and inside linen - these are available at widely differing price according to the quality and workmanship; (c) transporting the dead body from the place of death (usually a hospital) to his office; (d) carrying out the functions of a mortician (beautifying dead bodies);(e) arranging the funeral procession including the priest; (f) arranging the meal that follows the funeral, and other related activities.

(3) Given the family system prevalent in USA, an old couple usually approaches a funeral director to sort of do an "advance booking" for their own deaths. They pay the necessary charges to ensure that somebody (remember their sons and daughters are not staying with them) starts all processes after their death. I was told that the number of cremations in USA is increasing and therefore the funeral director also has to offer this facility to his clients and this includes handing back the urn containing the ashes of the deceased.

(4) Contrary to what we do, a dead body is not brought to the residence of the concerned person (once again probably because there is no one at home). The funeral director's work really starts from here. On receiving information, he arranges for the body to be picked up and brings it to his mini morgue where it is embalmed for long preservation.

(5) Close relatives are then contacted to fix a suitable date for the funeral. My "funeral director host" told me of a peculiar case when one of the dead person's sons was out of America on a vacation with his family and wanted the funeral to be fixed only after about 15 days because he did not want to abort his vacation. I could not think of anything even remotely similar to what happens in India. The mini-morgue is also necessary to take care of such situations

(6) The family of the dead person then sends his or her best clothes to the funeral directors' office so that the dead person can be made to look at his best. The mortician now takes over and beautifies the dead person (lipstick, rouge, face - powder, hair neatly combed, a three piece suit, necktie, etc). All this has to be ready well before the funeral.

(7) The funeral director then makes all arrangements for the funeral procession on the decided date - he provides the special van to carry the dead body in the coffin. The job is really completed when the coffin is finally lowered into the grave.

(8) The meal that follows brings the whole process to its conclusion.

I am not sure if anyone of us would like to die in USA.

Can suicidal terrorists ever be controlled effectively?

2008-12-03T21:44:00.012+05:30

I watched (on TV) the events of last week at Mumbai with increasing disbelief, horror and a sense of doom until I was engulfed with helpless depression. I hated the shrill tone of the "breaking news - reader" but couldn't stay away from it. I've never felt more guilty - having dinner while watching TV. Try and imagine a guy bursting through the door of
your dining room and spraying everyone with bullets - even the thought is terrifying.

A week later, everyone including my vegetable vendor (सब्जीवाला ) seems to have become an expert on how terrorists could be contained. Solutions to the present problems are being formulated at paan -kiosks (पानठेला ) in about five minutes. There is "sound" advice for everyone - Obama, Manmohan Singh, Zardari, Osama, Vilasrao, both the Patils and for anyone else who wanted it. Much before it was published, our cook told us how some hidden RDX had still not been located and how 3 or 4 terrorists had still not been accounted for and how the whole drama could be repeated. Reams are of course being written by experts and simpletons alike on how this was a systemic failure and about actions that needed to be taken to prevent a recurrence.

Can any nation stop suicidal terrorists bent upon creating mayhem - I don't think so! In hindsight, it is easy to say that all warnings should have been heeded. Most of us would have protested, had each "red alert" (which probably turned out to be nothing) delayed even as mundane an event as our reaching office or home. Statistically, there are bound to be more false alarms in this business, but even one major event like what happened at Mumbai would throw us back into paroxysms of fear and harsh criticism of those who manage these things. But surely we need to create a system which makes it hell of a lot more difficult for those rogues from holding us at ransom like they did last week.

I think it should be mandatory for home ministers at the state and central level to be army or police professionals. There is no need to tolerate nincompoops who adorn that chair only because of their loyalty to other nincompoops. In fact, even the finance and defence ministers should compulsorily be professionals. Let the party in power find such persons and get them elected.
The incumbents for these ministerial posts [home, defence, finance] should face a televised interview from a parliamentary committee comprising of MPs and experts before they are confirmed in their jobs. Come to think of it, we do not select even Managing Directors without a grilling interview but gladly accept these minister - managers [who control hundreds and thousands of times larger assets that those MDs and CEOs] just like that. Let us hear from an incumbent home minister what strategies (other than abiding by whatever 10 , Janpath says) he plans to employ, to keep us safe.
Let us have compulsory military training (before graduation) for one year for all youth. Mukesh Ambani has hit the nail on the head. Government will get a large resource to deploy for disaster management and / or surveillance and the young ones, a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity to discipline themselves. Many of these recruits will surely get attracted towards making a career in the army or police.
Let us thoroughly modernise our police force. I read somewhere that in the last decade, more policemen have died in course of duty than the number of army - men and that on an average 2/3 policemen die everyday. Let us give them the best equipment, higher salaries, substantial insurance and anti terrorism training. Let not any sanctioned post lie vacant in their organisation structure. Let the money for all this come from less important things like travel subsidies or even a small "terror surcharge" on each commercial transaction (much like the Bangladesh refugee tax). On the flip side let us ease out those pot bellied, good for nothing मुन्सीजी (policemen).
Let batallions of NSG be stationed at strategic places so that every corner of India is reachable in maximum two hours.
Let's instill discipline in ourselves. Let us (a) not break red lights; (b) not display our connections to higher ups when caught violating a law; (c) understand the importance of time; (d) improve our concepts of public hygiene; (e) reduce our indifference towards what is publicly good; (f) not curse policemen doing their duty [like implementing naka-bandi (नाकाबंदी) for example]; the list is really endless.

If you think this belt-tightening is uncomfortable, just imagine you are sitting in that restaurant and visualise the "thud" of each bullet as it passes through your body.

Why politicians cannot be honest?

2008-11-23T13:00:00.013+05:30

The dictionary definition of the word "politics" is: sum total of activities undertaken to remain in power - I hope you have noted the absence of any moral or ethical tinge to this definition.

I vividly remember how sad I had felt [I was only about 14 years old then] one afternoon when we received news of President Kennedy's assassination at Dallas. From his debonair looks - an ideal family - beautiful & rich wife, he appeared to be an honest person & a role model, at least to a young teenager like me - thousands of miles away. Some years ago I read in Reader's Digest [the report was based on declassified information - apparently USA has an endearing rule which compulsorily declassifes all information after 30 years] that President Kennedy's family was deep into bootlegging and running brothels - in fact his Presidential election was financed mainly from this income; that he himself was a womaniser [though this last one isn't particularly deplorable by moral standards prevalent in that country]. I was reminded of a saying in Marathi : दिसत तस् नसत (things aren't as they appear) and realised that this is absolutely true for politicians everywhere in the world.

Politicians do not have an opinion of their own: They do not like to be painted into a corner because one never knows when one will have to come out in support of something that is diametrically opposite (remember everything is justified to remain in power - let principles go to hell). By nature therefore they have to be "chameleons" - changing colours and pretending as if they were on the winning side all along. So we have Congress aligning with Jayalalita once and with Karunanidhi immediately thereafter only to talk again to Jayalalita, if the situation so demands. LK Advani's support to Pragya who is an accused in the Malegaon blasts was also finalised by the BJP think tank after a market research indicated that there is a groundswell of sympathy for her amongst Hindus in the country. The acid test for a political party before finalising its stand on any issue is to ask itself "Will I get more votes if I say so?" and never "What is the truth?" It is absolutely true that politicians make strange bedfellows. In a lighter vein somebody has hit the nail on the head by saying that "a politician shakes your hand before elections and your confidence thereafter.

Politicians are dishonest when it comes to MONEY: They are after all "human" and like मेनका enticed विश्वामित्र they too are surrounded by so many monetarily corrupting opportunities, that they would need to be super humans, not to succumb to these temptations. The vicious circle is perennial because laws reducing corruption need to be passed by these very politicians - who will ever agree to kill the golden goose? Those who appear "honest" have carefully cultivated that image and ensured that they never got caught. Approving illegal things to be carried out by ones henchmen does not absolve any senior leader from the blame. Political parties in a coalition government routinely demand certain ministries based on their estimate of how much unaccounted money they could generate. There is no end in sight to remove this malaise unless we fully empower departments like Central Vigilance Commission and remove "crime investigation" arm of the police from under a political appointee like the home minister.

Power corrupts: Unless we have fast track courts to settle all cases of corruption against politicians (realising that they indeed are the fountainheads of corruption) , they will continue to live in the safety of their self given immunities and mock the laws of the land. The immense power that resides in them due to the public offices they enjoy must be accompanied with maximum accountability. So intoxicated with power they sometimes are that all opposition is sought to be silenced -the nexus with criminal elements is a natural offshoot. An apolitical judiciary outside the influence of these politicians together with quick disposal of cases should be able to mitigate this problem considerably. However as recent exposures suggest, the judiciary itself is falling prey to this malaise.

Politicians forget that they have been appointed and not anointed: The immense political and monetary power is addictive. Soon politicians think they are Gods. It is aptly said that diapers and politicians need to be changed often and for the same reason. Experts in political science call this "anti incumbency" factor. Raj Thackeray has amply demonstrated that to be on the front page of all leading dailies of the country, you do not have to buy advertisements like corporates do. The easier method would be to smash taxis (belonging to someone else) and beat up others. I think he has shown sharp business skills in cornering costly newspaper space by creating news rather than buying ads.

Friends, I sincerely feel that politics is a universal vocation where success demands intellectual and monetary dishonesty - don't ever think corruption in politics is restricted only to India. Do send me your innovative suggestions on how to tackle this rot and also your ideas about how to motivate honest people to enter politics so that the "average honesty" of this group creeps upwards??

Should same - gender marriages be allowed in India?

2008-11-17T00:33:00.005+05:30

On Saturday 15th November, over one lac people in USA demonstrated by holding public rallies all over that country to pressurise state and federal governments into passing clear laws that would allow gays and lesbians to have full rights to choose their life partners (of the same gender, obviously) and enjoy the same rights as married - heterosexual - couples. I guess if a similar event was to take place in India, the rally would have demanded quotas for gays and lesbians in IITs / IIMs / government jobs and so on.

Leave alone marriages, Indian law does not even sanction homosexuality - as if sexual habits are controllable by promulgating GRs (government resolutions). Same gender sexual acts are considered illegal and hence punishable by imprisonment. Imagine the government telling everyone tomorrow that it is compulsory to derive pleasure only by eating Shrikhand (श्रीखंड ) and anyone eating रबडी will be summarily arrested. How can anyone, least of all the government, dictate what the sexual preferences of an individual should be - unless this leads to some kind of a law and order problem?

Do we realise that if we allow same - gender marriages, adoptions will increase & that's a crying need today. I am not suggesting that such marriages should be thought of as a "solution" to the problem of orphans (who ironically are mostly unwanted and abandoned children of heterosexual couples) but surely increased "adoptions" would be a welcome offshoot.

The supreme court has recently opined that a man and a woman "living together" will enjoy (along with their children) the same privileges that traditionally married couples do. I guess we will just have to tweak our present laws a little more to cover same gender couples.

Will same gender marriages or live in relationships be sanctioned by religion? Since there is so much hypocrisy in religion, I don't think this will ever happen. In recent years, the church has found it extremely difficult to justify the child abusers amongst its clergy and has reportedly settled many cases, "out of court". Most religions give great importance to celibacy knowing fully well that they are going against natural human inclinations that have been ordained by their own GOD. There is no evidence to suggest that celibacy leads to higher spirituality. Religions will therefore always condemn same gender marriages as something "satanic".

For once, I must support our health minister in his crusade for gays and lesbians - Dr Ramadoss otherwise gives us very few occasions to root for. Let us live and let live....instead of persecuting fellow human beings for something which is really none of our business and over which they have no control.

Can you figure this out?

2008-11-09T00:31:00.013+05:30

There are certain things which I have never been able to figure out and am actively seeking your help to understand. Please feel free to post your comments - these would go a long way in clearing my muddled mind.

Do you know how old Ravana was, when he was killed by Lord Rama?According to Valmiki, Ravana was 20,000 years old when he died. Being a scholar and a great devotee of Shiva, he is supposed to have done penance (तपश्चर्या ) for 10,000 years before being granted the boon of "near - immortality" [At the end of every 1000 years, Ravana would cut off one of his 10 heads. GOD finally relented at the end of 10,000 years, just before the last head would have been cut off. Ravana would otherwise have surely died and this would have given a wrong signal to other devotees]. Can anyone really live this long? Was Ravana then an actual person or a character in a story??

Why don't Life Insurance companies consult astrologers before selling a policy?For times immemorial, astrologers have claimed that they can predict the future of an individual from his horoscope (जन्मपत्रिका) [which incidentally is a very scientific document showing positions of various planets in different constellations, at the time of birth of that person]. A company that sells life - covers would be extremely keen to know the approximate date of death (मृत्युयोग) of the client - doesn't it ask us to go through all kinds of medical tests to assess if we are fit enough to be sold a policy and to reassure itself that we won't conk off after paying just a premium or two, putting the insurance company to a big loss? Why doesn't LIC, take the help of astrology, to save itself from potentially crippling losses?

How can a ghost (अतृप्त आत्मा ) return to haunt?It is popular folklore that if a person dies with some desires unfulfilled or some injustice un-avenged during his lifetime, his ghost comes back to haunt that location or somebody, until those desires are quenched. Now when a person dies, his brain, which is the depository of his entire life-time memory, also dies. Let us presume for the time being that his "spirit" (आत्मा ) does escape! I can never figure out how that spirit can remember details of what it was before death. The spirit cannot have a memory of its own since all memory of life before death has already been destroyed along with the brain.

Was Kansa (कंस मामा ), Lord Krishna's uncle, a fool? If you or I had known that our sisters' eighth child was going to be our nemesis, wouldn't we have killed the sister [am presuming that we possess the necessary cruelty like कंस did] instead of waiting for her to deliver eight children? To make matters worse, if कंस did not have the guts to kill his own sister, why should he have gone out of his way to house her with her husband ( देवकी and वसुदेव ) in the same prison cell? Did Kansa, who was a king, have an IQ much below average?

Why did prominent Kauravas (कौरव ) have foul names? Did their parents (धृतराष्ट्र and गांधारी ) know that these children were going to grow up into scoundrels. Which mother would name her sons दुर्योधन or दुह्शासन - words which basically have negative meanings?

How do Jain families keep their homes, free of pests? Now we all know that Jains have a fetish when it comes to killing any form of life. They go to great lengths to achieve this (by being strict vegetarians, eating dinner before 7 pm, going around with a cloth around their mouth and nose - even sweeping the street lightly before taking the next step). How do they keep their homes free of pests - do they never use 'Baygon' for cocroaches, 'Mortein' or 'All out' for mosquitoes? Do they never sweep out the cobwebs?

If GOD (परमात्मा ) is निर्गुण and निराकार ( a spirit without any desires or form) then how come HE has his favourite vehicle (वाहन ) - food - flowers - days? If all this is indeed symbolic then how come we are unwilling to deviate even an inch from the prescribed rituals (मोदक and red flowers for Shri Ganesh, for example). If GOD is the creator of the entire human race, why does HE have to marry in order to beget his own children (Shri Ganesh and Kartikeya to Shiva and Parvati, for example)? Or is it really the other way around - have human beings created GOD and ascribed to them, these "human" qualities?

There are other queries but I will stop here. I keenly await your reply.

Should prostitution be legalised?

2008-10-31T21:40:00.005+05:30

Prostitution is rightly called the oldest profession. Since the time human beings started living in communities, various kings / governments / leaders have tried to banish it - using all powers at their disposal - but at best, have succeeded in just "sweeping it under the carpet". What is so repulsive about this commercial activity that brings out the worst hypocricy inside us?

[1] Can it be banned? : I don't think we even need to discuss this. It has survived every legislation and instead of diminishing in magnitude, has actually prospered. Since it is closely related to basic human instincts, laws are bound to prove ineffective. Have we been able to , for example, ban sale and consumption of alcohol in Wardha district? An administrative ban on prostitution is just not implementable - period!

[2] Does this profession morally corrupt the society? : Since every town and city in India has a "red light area", this question is superfluous. If you think closely, very little of the corruption that we have imbibed in our life-style could be attributed to this profession. Some of our movies would have a far more corrupting influence and we don't seem to be overtly worried about them. 'Strong family ties' is one of the main pillars of our culture. I don't think it is so weak for us to get unduly worried. Do we decide not to send our children (say for higher education and greener pastures thereafter) to the WEST (where there is immensely more "social - gender -mixing") just because we are afraid that the society there will corrupt their morals?

[3] Does the profession exploit the poor and the uneducated? : Well, there are parallels and we don't seem to be worried much about them. Are we not trying to tackle the problem of "child labour" which seems to affect a similar segment of people? And oh yes, what about freedom to convert from one religion to another? Isn't this a problem restricted to the downtrodden? Has anyone approached you (educated and financially well off) to market their religion? So if we don't seem to mind people selling their souls why should we be so worried about some deciding to sell their bodies. If prostitution is legalised, forcible induction of nubile girls (who have been lured with other promises) will actually come down because it will be easier to detect and punish people who perpetrate such crimes. The traditional image of a heartless pimp (as projected by Bollywood movies) will actually improve. Legalising prostitution will remove the veil of secrecy (because so much hanky panky goes on in this vocation) and actually help the players involved.

[4] What about the fear of spreading AIDS? : By legalising this profession, we will be able to tackle this problem far more effectively. Every commercial sex worker (CSW) will have to possess a renewable valid licence. Appointed medical experts will actually be able to ensure that AIDS does not spread.

[5] Will recognising this trade be a blot on our conservative culture? : We look down upon (a) consumption of alcohol; (b) eating of non veg food; (c) smoking and (d) infidelity in marriage - as the worst that a person can do to tarnish the image of our conservative culture. All our epics are replete with multiple examples of all these alleged vices. By arguing on these lines, can we not be accused of selective amnesia?

Friends, I am all for giving this trade a legitimate status. The advantages far outweigh the minuses. Imagine CSWs getting loans to spruce up their place of business, being included in government national health care schemes, enjoying provident fund and other benefits, enjoying some schemes that will educate their लावारिस children and in general being able to hold their head higher than what they can presently do.

I predict that the number of commercial sex workers will actually come down once these changes are brought about. Now isn't that what we want to happen?

Do Blessings (आशीर्वाद) or Prayers (प्रार्थना) really work?

2008-10-26T16:13:00.004+05:30

The mildest form of blessing is the casual "good morning" that we utter when we meet someone and I guess the strongest one is the traditional अष्ट पुत्र सौभाग्यवती भव् (May you beget eight sons and may your husband be alive) given to a newly married woman. Do you think that these or other blessings would come true just because they have been uttered in sincerity and goodwill by the giver?

There is no doubt that the giver of blessings is your well wisher but does he or she possess some power (it will have to be supernatural) to determine your future? If this was so, why would we have ever worked hard to achieve our objectives? It is obvious that receiving blessings makes us feel good so we readily convince ourselves that they are indeed going to come true. There are some amongst us who hanker after "blessings" - they would go out of their way (a visit to Shirdi or Tirupati?) to receive them in the mistaken belief that this act will somehow ensure success in their venture. There are others who get addicted to this process and keep seeking opportunities to ask for blessings - for nothing in particular (If you don't know where to go how will you ever reach there?). You must remember that projects succeed because of your thoroughness and hard work and they fail because you goofed up somewhere. Blessings only make you "feel good".

We often "pray" to an Almighty power (now you have got to be religious to do this because the existence of such an almighty power has never been demonstrated under neutral conditions) for success, wealth, happiness, even 'rains' and many times for the defeat of our enemies (though these enemies are creations of the same almighty power). We must have prayed thousands of time in our life but have you ever statistically calculated the rate of success of our prayers? In your business, would you choose a media for your next advertisement before analysing the enquiries that the last one generated? It is obvious that we pray more for our own satisfaction (at having done our best) than really achieving success in whatever we are requesting the Almighty power to do for us. So brain washed are we that if inspite of our sincere prayers, things do not happen as intended, we never blame the Almighty ( Henry Kissinger once famously said "the advantage of being a celebrity speaker is that even when you are boring the audience to death, they feel it is their fault).

Blessings and prayers do give us a sense of calmness and composure (मनः शांती) which eventually leads to better performance but we must understand that they could generate a false sense of security. For adults, I would strongly recommend meditation (ध्यान) which generates the same kind of mental strength without the side effects.

WHAT IF THIS REALLY HAPPENS?

2008-10-19T00:44:00.010+05:30

I am a fan of Jules Verne, the famous writer of science fiction. If you read his books (written about 100 years ago), you will be spooked at how close his imagination was to the way things have turned out to be. So this week, I decided to let my imagination soar into the realm of what looks impossible, today!

I would be happy to receive inputs from all of you about many implications of these wild thoughts - if they were to really come true, some day. Don't think logically - let the dreamer inside you take over.

What if men could become pregnant?

It would be a boon to working couples. They could take turns at getting pregnant so that their careers did not suffer.
This could be the magical breakthrough to achieve genuine gender equality.
Men would also be afraid of getting raped by a woman. They will be back home before it is too dark.
Will fathers become as loving (as todays mothers are) towards their offsprings?

What if we had "thought controlled" devices?

Imagine, you just have to look at your cellphone and remember your friend's telephone number and presto... it reads your mind and starts dialling.
Doctors have been telling us that our brain works on minute electrical impulses so we require some genius to amplify those micro voltages and then make normal electronic devices (like the cell phone) work.
Indian Airforce would love it. In modern dogfights between two sophisticated "fighter planes" it is really a question of which pilot presses the button and releases the missile first - "technology" decides everything thereafter. The missile could now be released, the moment the thought of doing so gets formed in the pilot's brain.
I could connect a LCD projector to my brain and project on screen, the view of river Thames which I can clearly recall from my last visit to London.

What if "memory" could be transplanted from one brain to another?

We routinely transfer data from one CD to another so what's the difference here? We could now produce thousands of "CV Ramans" and "Einsteins".
Colleges and entrance examinations would no longer be necessary. Imagine downloading, say the entire MBBS syllabus, into the brain of the person interested in becoming a doctor. Spending years to study for a degree would be a thing of the past. Colleges would only have Ph.D. students doing research on hitherto unknown aspects of a subject.

What if doctors could remove the brain and keep it functional, even after a persons' death?The brain of a Nobel laureate in say Physics could continue grappling and solving complicated problems in Physics, long after the person has passed away. I remember having read somewhere that this is really being researched.

What if politicians start behaving honestly?

I think I am now really letting my imagination get the better of me. This has neither happened in the past nor will happen in the future (न भूतो न भविष्यति )

Do you agree with your religion's philosophy??

2008-10-12T00:16:00.010+05:30

Do you know the philosophical tenets of your religion and more importantly, do you agree with them?? Or do you just take pride (गर्व से कहो ...) in being a Hindu (or Muslim, or Christian, or Sikh, or Parsi) knowing fully well that it was a mere statistical accident that you got born in this family of yours. Now don't confuse rituals with philosophy. For example, reciting shlokas and worshipping (सत्य नारायण की पूजा) in the prescribed manner does not make you a better Hindu. Have you ever tried to find out what makes your religion, philosophically different from others?

Let us make a beginning. Let's identify the main principles of Hinduism and I would request my friends from other religions to inform us "bullet points" of what their religion's philosophy is!

Rebirth: (पुनर्जन्म): A person is reborn, depending on his deeds of the previous birth. The highest form of birth is as a human being but as a mark of punishment for your bad deeds, you could get reborn as a cocroach or a dog or whatever...

Salvation: (मोक्ष): Everyone should aspire to behave so well in a particular birth that he / she gets out of this cycle of rebirth. You would have then achieved the final salvation. Rebirth is thus a "reward - punishment" mechanism.

Principle of non - duality (अद्वैत ): Hindu philosophy postulates that everything in this world is a part of the same entity; it even extends this logic by stating that the "creator" (निर्माता ) and the "creations" (निर्मिती) are one & the same thing. According to this tenet, there is thus no point in hating others - they are really a part of yourself - does the right hand ever hate the left hand??

Destiny (नसीब): Our destinies are pre-written by the creator and we are mere pawns on a chessboard playing out our life as decreed by HIM (GOD is always a male). Is this why we Hindus are a laid back lot, convinced that we can't change what is pre-ordained for us?

Extreme Tolerance: Hinduism should really be a delight to all modernists who value their independence above everything else - [a] it admits that their could be other paths leading to GOD; [b] it gives complete liberty to its followers to choose any GOD of his/her choice & their are many to choose from; [c] it does not have strict dress or appearance codes; [d] it allows you to use your own methods of worship; [e] it does not want to 'market' itself and spread amongst those who do not belong to its fold; [f] it is so liberal that it even sanctions atheism as a legitimate pursuit.

Living life "fully": It decrees that the four life stages viz ब्रह्मचर्य (before marriage) , गृहस्ताश्रम (married life and raising a family), वानप्रस्थाश्रम ( delegation of authority to children and spending time in contemplation) and finally संन्यास (detatchement from family and renunciation of worldly pleasures), have different objectives and need to be lived and enjoyed fully and robustly.

Fully concentrating on the process of achieving your objectives without excessive botheration about the end result: This is the famous teaching of Bhagwadgita (कर्मण्ये वा धिकार्स्ये माँ फले तू कदाचन). A person is called upon to perform different duties in different life stages and these thoughts should really be his guiding principles.

Now this is what Hinduism stands for. Truthfully, I would personally agree to only 5, 6 & 7 of the above. Next time I am filling up a form which asks me to state my religion, I should honestly write 40% Hindu (3 upon 7).

I eagerly await similar inputs for other religions.

Purity Rings - the latest FAD

2008-10-04T23:23:00.003+05:30

I am amazed (& that's an understatement) at this latest obsession that seems to have caught on in the western countries. Times of India reported a few weeks ago that youngsters in the west (read USA) are now flaunting PURITY RINGS (पवित्रता की अंगूठियां) worn on their fingers (thank GOD for that) as a confirmation of their virginity and also their intention to guard it zealously until they found a suitable life partner. Now I thought India had a copyright on that philosophy. I had heard of chastity belts being used by kings in the olden days when they went to war and wanted their wives to remain faithful during their long absence - but this concept of purity rings just took my breath away.

How did such a thought take root in a society that is so obsessed with SEX? The average age of boys having their first sexual experience in these nations is 12. Fidelity in marriage is ordained by the church but looked upon as an un-necessary burden diluting personal freedom. Anyone who has not used the back seat of a car for their "aaahs and ooohs" during a date, is considered positively backward. Here the biggest worry of a mother of teenage daughters is about the efficacy of the pill that she mixed in her daughters milk, before she went on her date. One night stands are as normal as drinking a glass of water when you are thirsty. While we in India are aping all this in the name of modernity and self liberation, how can our role models ditch us like this and be so prudish and oh .. so backward??

I see two reasons for this चमत्कार.

Elementary economics tells us that the price (and perceived value) of an entitiy that is abundantly available goes down. Private consensual SEX is indeed abundantly available in the West since their are no taboos like in the East. This self denial like सोमवार का उपवास will surely elevate the status of the act and that of the (non) doer.
The more likely cause is the fear of AIDS. Having a single partner, making sacrifices for him (like preserving ones virginity) have therefore gained a lot of importance.

These days, I scan Times of India every day for a report that writes about how करवा चौथ has become a rage in America and how married women are actually praying to have the same husband in the next seven births (I know Christianity does not approve of this पर ज़रा मेरी भावनाओं को समझो). I am worried though that by the time this happens, Indian mothers of teenage daughters would be fretting about the quality of the pill they put in her Bourn vita before she left for a date.

Are women second class citizens in India??

2008-09-24T00:06:00.013+05:30

Chandigarh may be one of the prettiest cities of India but what I read last week makes me feel that it is probably one of the "ugliest" too. It has the dubious distinction of having the worst gender ratio in the country ( 877 females per 1000 males). Delhi our national capital and Haryana that otherwise prosperous state are the two other regions in the top three of this list of shame. Prenatal gender-determination is a crime according to a law passed many years ago but it seems female foeticide is rampantly practised in these areas. This is one national problem which is caused as much by the rich & educated as by the illiterate & poor. The law of demand and supply has already taken over in these North Indian states - girls now command a monetary premium (reverse dowry) & brothers are sometimes forced to share a common wife, just like in MAHABHARAT - (though for entirely different reasons).

Do we as a community have a "return on investment" kind of approach when it comes to our natural preference for male children?? Are we so guided by this बुढापे की लाठी philosophy that even mothers agree to abort girl foetuses ( like scoring a self goal)?

Females have been discriminated against in every society (encompassing all religions) during the progress of human civilization - the main reason of course was that males wrote all the rules. Did you know that females got the right to vote as late as 2006 in Kuwait, 1971 in Switzerland, 1946 in Belgium, 1945 in France, 1928 in Britain and 1920 in USA? Females are barred from becoming a Pope or even an Imam in a mosque and are generally accorded an inferior status in rituals of all religions. Have you ever heard of a female शंकराचार्य? It is estimated that over 60,000 women were once burnt by Christians by branding them as witches. In the Hindu system of सती, women were literally murdered and then glorified. Islam even today refuses to grant alimony to a divorced wife. Politically, all parties are so blatantly hypocritic that for years they have been proclaiming gender parity but when it comes to reserving 33% seats for women in parliament, they turn a completely blind eye towards the issue.

Coming back to the burning problem of female foeticide, we have seen that mere passing of laws has not worked - maybe we should allow capital punishment to be given to such offenders. But I really think that the time has come for religions to "pay back" for the years of gender - disparity that they have been indirectly advocating. It is high time that opinion leaders like रामदेवबाबा , श्री रविशंकर , आसारामबापू & all शंकराचार्य loudly declare that :

[1] Any Hindu family that demands dowry during marriage will be ex-communicated; [2] It is not true that moksha can be achieved only when a SON lights your funeral pyre - a daughter is equally eligible to do so; [3] Anyone found aborting a female foetus or assisting such an act will be ostracised and no one will have रोटी - बेटी का व्यवहार with such families.

Religion has such immense power over people's minds that it is capable of bringing about this social transformation - unless of course if the religious leadership is itself not convinced about gender disparity being an issue worth paying attention to.

Blowing off candles on a birthday!

2008-09-20T17:38:00.008+05:30

According to Indian culture, extinguishing a burning light (ज्योत बुज्हाना) is considered very inauspicious. So strong is this belief that in most Indian movies, a flickering & finally dying lamp is symbolically used to warn the audience of someone's impending death. Why do most of us then encourage such an act on a birthday - which is considered an auspicious occasion??

I sometimes wonder why adults should consider their own birthdays as occasions for celebration. Adults normally celebrate "achievements" and you did nothing to bring yourself into this world - did you? It is ok for your parents to celebrate your birthday - you are indeed their achievement. Moreover each passing year brings us closer to the FINAL DAY - if anything, this should be a day of contemplation ( I almost said "condolence"). Birthdays were ok when we were kids - drooling for those gifts & chocolates.

Let us come back to the mystery of extinguished candles! This is actually an ancient Greek custom which we have copied without really understanding its significance. According to the original practice, the birthday boy / girl is supposed to close his/her eyes and make a silent wish to GOD before opening them and blowing off the candle. The smoke from the extinguished candle which rises upwards is supposed to "carry" that wish to GOD.
Don't ask me why only the smoke (visible to the eye) can carry your wishes to GOD and the hot fumes (which also rise upwards while the candle is burning, but are invisible to the eye) cannot!

Can you now tell me why we use only a cake to stick those candles in? Why can't it be a can of श्रीखंड or शीरा or some of those other mouth watering Indian पकवान ?

Significance of प्रदक्षिणा (परिक्रमा) in a temple

2008-09-12T01:05:00.011+05:30

Most of us follow religious rituals blindly without making efforts to understand why we are called upon to do things in a particular manner. Our elders never explained things to us when we were young (they probably were never told by their elders) & we seem to be continuing the (in)glorious tradition. Religious practices are sacrosanct and analytical discussions are strongly discouraged but I sincerely feel that if we are expecting real or perceived benefits out of them, we should not shut our eyes under the excuse of being faithful to our ancient culture.

Two things about the प्रदक्षिणा need some explanation: [1] What extra benefits are expected to accrue by going round the idol in a temple? Why isn't just standing and praying sufficient? [2] Why do we go around in the clock-wise direction only?

Many relate this practice to the mythological story of how Ganesha won the race against his elder brother Kartikeya (when both were challenged by their parents - shiva and parvati, to go around the world in the shortest possible time) by just doing a प्रदक्षिणा around his parents and claiming that they were indeed his world. Devotees in a temple are surely not a part of any race and going around the world (the idol) does not have religious significance in terms of any salvation that Hinduism wants us to achieve.

The crux of this practice is summed up in the following two liner

यानी कानी च पापानि जन्मान्त्रक्र तानी च
तानी तानी विनश्यन्ति प्रदक्षिण प् दे प् दे

Roughly translated, it conveys a beautiful idea. While going around the idol, you are calling upon GOD to ensure that with each footstep that you take , HE cancels or destroys one sin that you have committed in this or previous births. Obviously many of my friends who take pride in going around 11 times must be BIG SINNERS since they require so many more steps to cancel all their sins. This also explains why one has to go around on foot while doing प्रदक्षिणा.
Whether the sins actually get cancelled is besides the point... shouldn't the believers have this thought at the back of their mind while doing the प्रदक्षिणा ?

Now friends I want you to investigate and tell me why we must go around in the clockwise direction only?

Jana gana mana - the meaning

2008-09-11T08:47:00.006+05:30

Rabindranath Tagore himself has strongly denied that the poem (which incidentally has five stanzas - the first one of which was adopted as the anthem) was written in honour of King George V, the then ruler of British India. We must therefore leave it at that.

It is true however that Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru chose this to be the national anthem instead of "vande mataram" because [1] He did not want the new nation to begin on a controversial note as would have happened due to strong Muslim objection to bowing (vande..) to the motherland (mataram) because Islam prohibits doing so before anyone other than Allah - (I think the objection persists even today) & [2] The ease with which "jana gana mana.." can be understood, sung and played by a band.

Amit Shesh in his comments has rightly said that probably because of the difficulty in a lay person singing the US - star spangled banner - it is mostly confined to expert renditions at football matches. Now for the full verbatim meaning:

जन गण मन अधिनायक जय हे , भारत भाग्य विधाता
May you , the leader of leaders (adhinayak) of our people, communities and minds and the determiner of Bharat's destiny (bhagya vidhata) be victorious (jaya)

पंजाब सिंध गुजरात मराठा द्राविड उत्कल बंग
Here everything is obvious except maybe Utkal (Orissa), Bang (whole of undivided Bengal including present Bangladesh and the seven north eastern sister states) & Dravid (whole of south India

विन्ध्य हिमाचल यमुना गंगा , उछ्छल जलधि तरंग
We have here two famous and representative mountain ranges and description of the oceans which have high rise waves (uchhal tarang). All this is basically describing our country so that we ask all of it to be blessed.

तव शुभ नामे जागे , तव शुभ आशीष मागे
We awaken oursleves taking your name and we ask for your blessings

गाये तव जय गाथा
We sing the story (gatha) of your victory (jaya)

Here onwards it is a repetition of the above words until we end the anthem with a clarion call for his victory (jaya he ...).

So our national anthem is a sort of prayer (to the almighty GOD - the determiner of our destiny and the controller of our souls) to bless our nation.

Jana Gana Mana... our national anthem

2008-09-01T00:32:00.007+05:30

I am amazed that most young Indians (& I think old ones too) do not know the actual meaning of our national anthem. There has to be something seriously wrong with our education system, if this is the end result. It is also a prime example of how we attach a lot of importance (pseudo, as it actually turns out to be) to standing at attention (even in cinema halls before the movie begins) to show respect to the national anthem & virtually treating this act as some sort of a measure of our patriotism - without understanding how exactly we are praising our motherland. I challenge all you bloggers to send me the meaning (verbatim) of the entire anthem. I would of course be glad to post it here but would first like all of you to try and find it yourself.