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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Comic Interludes in newspapers overflowing with scam - reports

From the time that they started reporting about scams with such regularity, reading a daily newspaper has become quite boring. One wonders if it is the number of scams that has gone up or are more scams getting unearthed (or is it BOTH?). I believe all newspapers have a full fledged "editor-scams" working overtime to keep pace with the frenetic activity taking place around us. It was therefore a big relief to read some genuinely comic news - am sharing the mirth with you.

Astrological signs have changed due to wobbling of the earth. The earth apparently wobbled a little while rotating around its axis and expert astrologers feel this could lead to a change in the sun and moon signs ( राशी ) allotted to us poor mortals. Do you realize that your forecast for tomorrow, predicted by your favourite quack, could now apply to your driver? So don't take that (you are entering a phase of cordial relations with your spouse) very seriously. Astrologers who had barely recovered from the irresponsible act of astronomers who a few years ago, had discovered new planets, could not however explain why this "wobbling" itself could not be predicted. In spite of so many studies indicating that astrology has no statistical significance, it is indeed comic to see people giving it a "life defining" status. So please continue to stay indoors during राहू काल and oh yes, to avoid constipation, visit the toilet at an auspicious time recalculated for your newly changed राशी.

Priest at Tirumala temple steals gold ornaments donated by devotees. So finally nemesis caught up with those who have been plundering GOD's wealth. The priest was candid enough to say that he had sacrificed a lot for the deity and thus did not consider the robbery as a crime but a just return for his years of सेवा. On getting caught, he must have surely wondered where his भक्ती fell short. So much for hypocrisy of the highest order. I have often wondered why temples are locked at all. If the lord cannot protect his own property, how can he look after his devotees.

Union Bank of India opens a lock-less branch. The bank opened a new branch at शनी शिंगणापूर (in Ahmednagar district, Maharashtra) and decided not to lock any doors or their safety lockers, because the town is supposed to be protected from robberies by no less than शनी देव himself - no house in the village has doors and no robberies have been allegedly reported. When last heard, local police were planning to officially complain to RBI because apart from this "open" branch contravening banking regulations, they expect it to be a big "law & order" headache. So much for the faith that the official machinery has in the policing abilities of शनी.

Nagpur Traffic police notices no reduction in accidents at road junctions where वास्तू शास्त्र approved pyramids had been buried. Adopting a bizarre solution, the traffic authorities had resorted to burying special pyramids beneath some "killer" road junctions where accidents did not reduce in spite of their best efforts. Predictably, nothing changed except some "egg on the face" of the traffic police. I hope the experts who advised this move are punished and their names prominently published so that the public at large does not get duped. We must thank our stars that the CID is not resorting to using planchets to talk to the spirits of dead victims in their bid to find out who murdered them. I think CBI should not be allowed to close the Arushi case unless they talk to her spirit.

Kerela high court asks if the "divine" light (मकरविल्लकु ) at सबरीमला temple is man-made? It appears that this magically appearing light has been robbed of its "divinity" because it has now been admitted that some tribals have been lighting it for many years. As an interesting sidelight, the chief minister belonging to the atheistic communist party has already declared that he will not order any investigation that would hurt the faith of a large population of devotees. So we now have a new norm: It is alright to maintain the delusion of millions instead of recognizing a truth that stares you in the face. So women will continue to be debarred from this temple and devotees will continue to throng at the annual festival after supposedly "purifying" themselves through abstinence from meat, liquor and sex - only to happily continue sinning thereafter, until the next festival. I have never understood why only "believers" can protest about somebody "hurting their faith". Can't the other side protest about this persistent foolishness "hurting their intelligence"?

Come to think of it, isn't religion the biggest scam of them all ??

For more wholesome entertainment, click the following link and hear Pat Condell demonstrate how not to beat around the bush - he is absolutely superb.