"Statistics" could be the answer to this problem...

Let us accept it. Most people are scared of mathematics - some succumb to this fear before graduation while others, a little later. Like they say हर आदमी की एक कीमत होती है; in this case every person has his threshold of tolerance beyond which he wants to be "liberated" from the tyranny of numbers. Statistics is the बाप of mathematics and even those interested in the latter could run scared of the former. Would you however believe if I say that statistical theories actually rule our lives?

Hypotheses in physical sciences like Physics & Chemistry are LAWS because they are always true (100% probability). The law of gravitation, for example, works the same at all times of day and night and at any place on the globe. There are however hypotheses in the fields of medicine or social sciences like psychology or sociology where laws may not be true 100% of the times but could still be recognised as "laws" ( remember, anything that happens with more than 50% certainty has the potential of being called a "law").

My hypothesis is that most of us are full of superstitions mainly because we haven't understood statistics.

I rate "superstitions" as one of our top problems. Just imagine - without superstitions we would not have had [1] our caste system; [2] the practice of सती; [4] खाप पंचायत and honour killings ; [4] Dowry deaths; [5] Female foeticide; [6] Belief in numerology, astrology, palmistry; [7] Gender bias against women; [8] Child marriages; [9] Religious obstinacy.

A dictionary defines "Superstitions" as beliefs without any evidence (or shall I add, statistical evidence). It is obvious that when we operate under the influence of superstitions, we suspend our power of analysis. Then fearing being branded "illogical", we stretch ourselves to justify our actions, fully ignoring what "statistics" is telling us.

[a] Statistics tells us that the possibility of a couple getting a son or a daughter is really 50% and depends on the chromosomes from the husband but mothers - in - law (even in TV soap operas) continue blaming the wife for not giving them a son. [b] Psephology is a decent statistical tool to predict election results but our politicians would continue to seek blessings from diverse dieties and assign their success or failure to them. [c] People continue to match horoscopes before marrying their children, ignoring the statistical fact that workability (or non workability) of marriages depends on a host of factors, other than planetary influences. They conveniently ignore all those cases where marriages failed in spite of this horoscope matching [d] People continue to have faith in homoeopathy though statistically, its rate of success is no better than that of a placebo. [e] People continue to believe that "regular prayers" to GOD bring them success, turning a blind eye to the fact that in almost all cases, the prayers did not work - hard work did. [f] So many of us strongly believe and insist on others believing that a moment or a day or a particular month is auspicious to start or perform a particular activity. [g] Belief in the existence of an ALMIGHTY power controlling all of us and this world is deeply entrenched in the mind of so many, without any statistical verification of the thought (at least someone over the last tens of thousands of years should have been able to prove the existence of such a power instead of just saying that" it has to be experienced" or "you need to be devout" in order to experience it).

I think statistics should be made compulsory right from middle school so that all of us understand that there is always a possibility of something happening in a given set of circumstances and we should not jump to the conclusion that that is what will always happen. We should not create a relation between an input and an event ( A implies B) unless this happens often enough to have statistical significance.

What is wrong with us?

Three happenings in the recent past have saddened me as I am sure they have, countless other fellow Indians. The way India managed and weathered the last two years of economic recession and the brightness with which many non resident Indians are shining all over the globe had for once given credence to Dr. Kalams' dream of our country getting counted as a role model (albeit in the next few decades). These events certainly deflated that pride.

1. खाप Panchayats in Haryana:

In obviously what is a no brainer, "same - गोत्र " marriages cannot lead to genetic defects that could occur in off-springs (due to "in-breeding") because of the simple fact that the present generation is very far removed from the original ऋषी (the name of the gotra is the same as that of this sage) from whom the lineage started. These खाप पंचायत in Haryana are ordering newly married couples to be ostracized or even killed for not obeying their ridiculous diktats of not marrying someone staying in even the same village. What is more disturbing is that there is no up surge of anger amongst Haryanvis who otherwise are hot-blooded enough to spill their anger on the streets. To top it all, two Members of Parliament (one of them Mr Jindal who is a part of India's progressive youth brigade) have come out with meaningless and mushy statements (obviously keeping their vote banks in mind) about how we must respect our traditions. Frankly I am perplexed - can India shine brightly with a prosperous state like Haryana being so outdated and callous in its public beliefs? Or is this a new strategy to give a scientific flavour to what essentially is superstitious nonsense or at best illegal flexing of political muscles. Who knows, we may next have a demand from Rajasthan to re start the practice of "सती "?

2. Antics of Shibu Soren in Jharkand

He becomes Chief Minister with BJP's support - then goes and votes against them in the no confidence motion against the Congress government at Delhi - asks for forgiveness when BJP threatens to withdraw support in Jharkand - first agrees to step down and allow BJP to form the government with its own CM - then turns around and says both parties will have CM by rotation for 28 months each and finally says he won't vacate the seat for the BJP. What surprises me is the absolutely spineless response of a national party like BJP just for sharing the spoils of office. If the "Hindutva" brigade cannot shun मोह (lust for power in this case) which Hinduism calls upon its true followers to achieve, aren't they being as hypocritical as they accuse their opponents to be?

3. फतवा from Deoband about not working in banking and insurance sectors.

The presumptious फतवा about Muslims not being allowed to work in both these sectors (because it is against the shariah) is another ridiculous attempt to impose fake religiosity over the common masses who understandably dare not openly criticize these interpreters of faith. There were some sporadic public calls from other Muslim clerics about the non tenability of this फतवा but what remains etched in the mind is the threat received by Mr. Javed Akhtar (may his tribe grow) who is the only Muslim atheist that I have ever heard of.

Don't you think India is moving back to medieval ages, at supersonic speed??

Being religious could be injurious to your (mental) health

Contrary to popular belief, religion can induce hallucinatory behaviour - please pay careful attention to the following classic symptoms.

[1] You may suspend the usage of your intellect

Normally, you will use this to carefully analyse every decision that you take - for example (a) Painstaking research about which cellphone to buy; (b) Credit history of a guy before lending him money; (c) Studying effectiveness of your earlier advertisements before releasing new ones. When the same person is however in the "religion" mode, he just stops using his analytical ability & allows himself to be lead by the nose, as if in a trance - for example believing that (d) you could be reborn as a dog in the next life; (e) you could absolve yourself of all sins just by confessing or taking a holy dip in a river; (f) certain moments are more auspicious than others.

[2] You may believe that bribery is an acceptable way of getting things done

While there is a stringent law in place against giving, abetting or accepting UTT (popular term amongst sales persons meaning "under the table"), religious people cannot be arrested for doing this, as the other party has never been identified. So you have people offering gold and cash to GOD to get in return, at least a part of their wish list (an offspring, wealth, business, success in an examination or as in Chennai, a mundane visa to USA)

[3] Your obsequious loyalty may reach the heavens (pun intended)

Those of you who have had dogs at home, would easily recall how delightful it is to be welcomed home at any hour with that love lorn look in the eyes of your pet (a spouse is no match except maybe during the first few months of marriage). This is what I call 100% loyalty and yes how you love his groveling for biscuits or whatever... Now just imagine yourself symbolically to be the pet and then start pleading for favours from the supreme entity that religions want you to surrender yourself to. The pet just doesn't know any other way of getting its rewards but human beings do - but would still not make use of any of these alternatives.

[4] Virtual reality cannot get you your daily bread

Psychologists recommend "positive thinking and optimism" as traits that would improve personal productivity but these cannot be used to acquire hardcore skills like flying an aircraft or becoming a surgeon. An interesting research has demonstrated that predominantly "atheist" nations (large enough statistical samples) far outclass "religious minded" ones on every parameter of economic development like GDP growth, improvement in health standards, reduction of poverty, empowerment of women, reduction in child mortality etc. The reason looks obvious: while the atheists have no one to "fall back upon except themselves" to perform, others depend on GOD to do most of their chores.

[5] Your fear of the unknown will increase manifold

Do ghosts frighten you? Are you fearful that all your actions are being entered in a balance sheet by someone who will one day (conveniently after your death) ask you to explain and then allot you an abode that is commensurate with your net positive (or negative) worth? Have you convinced yourself that our solar system and other galaxies cannot but be controlled by some "powerful entity" (read GOD)? The major strength of any religion is that it cleverly operates on the basis of hypotheses that cannot be disproved. Moreover, anything that cannot be explained is attributed to that supreme power. Now how many discoveries in the last century (which were earlier attributed to the divine power) were indeed found to be so? ZERO! All that has happened is that a new set of unknown things are now attributed to the divine power. The burden of proving any theory normally lies on the one who propounds it - here it is exactly the opposite - the burden of disproving it lies on the non - believer and until that happens, the believer happily keeps behaving as if it was the ultimate truth. Religion instills such an acute fear of ostracism amongst its followers that most of them turn completely robotic and pliant.

[6] You will stop expecting "accountability" from others

This is natural because religion is not at all accountable for whatever it promises and still has no "customer dissatisfaction" (to use a marketing term). Imagine that you bought an air-conditioner which did not cool your room. Will you blame your ill - luck and just go to the same shop and buy another one hoping that it will work this time? Religion expects you to keep doing that until "one of the units does cool your room" - then it turns around and tells you - "see I intervened with the the shopkeeper to give you a working piece ". It remains completely silent on why it did not intervene all these months - and you of course are so grateful and overjoyed at having got the right AC that you now start praying for a car.

Religious preachers never tire of quoting how flowing water is purer than stagnant water. In the last few thousand years, there hasn't been a single new thought added to religious philosophy (stagnant) while the world outside has innovated in leaps and bounds (running water). Neither its preachers nor its scriptures are likely to withstand rigorous and independent scrutiny - a threshold that any philosophy has to cross to earn its stars. Human beings must have got genetically mis-wired (some software somewhere got mis programmed in the process of evolution) for so many of them to behave in the weird manner that they do when it comes to "religion".

It would actually be a good idea to post a statutory warning outside all places of worship that says " Beware! Entering may increase delusional behaviour"

How sinful is your nation?

Recently, I came across an interesting British research report that compared nations according to their "sin" (पाप) index. A nation obviously is perceived to be as sinful as its residents. Analyses like these can never be very accurate and could appear a trifle unfair but this could be said about most studies that are conducted over such a broad canvas. Don't we use the HDI (Human Development Index - comprising of economic, health and empowerment indicators) to assess how developed a nation is?

The "sin" index apparently comprised of seven deadly sins: [1] Lust; [2] Gluttony; [3] Greed; [4] Wrath; [5]Pride; [6] Envy; and [7] Sloth. Each of these parameters carried ten marks and a higher score was considered more sinful. The socio - economic indicators used to measure these attributes make interesting reading.

Lust was measured by the per capita spend on pornographic material and average time spent on viewing this. South Korea was the top scorer here. I wonder how we would measure this in India since officially no pornographic material is available for sale or viewing (unless we track the sale of कामसूत्र) or measure the per capita rate of lustful ogling done at public places. Since very few Indian women lodge complaints of sexual harassment at the office - we would not be able to track that too. If India was included in this study, we will surely come out to be the least lustful nation in the world - not quite how things are.

Gluttony was measured by the per capita expenditure on high calories fast foods. USA came out the most sinful on this parameter. Since almost 40% of our population cannot even afford one full meal per day and since we are the second most populous nation in the world, we will surely score very low on gluttony. Our अतिथी देवो भव् culture has however trained most of us in the well to do segment to force - feed a guest until he surrenders with a loud burp.

Pride was measured by the per capita number of plastic surgeries. India is bound to come out very "virtuous" on this scale too. Maybe we could use the per capita dowry demanded by the grooms' family or the per capita honour killings ordered in Punjab or Haryana as an indicator of personal pride.

Sloth was measured by the number of holidays and absenteeism. We are on our "home ground" on this one. I don't think anyone will be able to beat us on this.

Greed was measured by the proportion of population earning less than 50% of the median value. Wrath was measured by the per capita incidence of violent crimes like rape, murders and assaults.

Envy was measured by the per capita incidence of car thefts, robberies and burglaries. In India this indicator would be so misleading. Maybe we could measure it by per capita personal loans taken to buy luxury goods - a large number of such loan cases are initiated because of jealousy induced by neighbours buying similar items.

Australia was adjudged the most sinful nation (score 46 out of 70) according to this study. If India were to be included in such a survey, I am sure we will come out to be the least sinful unless of course hypocrisy is included in the list. But even then we have this unfair advantage of bathing in the river Ganga and starting with a clean slate all over again. We can indeed never be displaced from our "exalted" status.

Is "reading" becoming a dying habit?

The present generation is smarter and more intelligent than mine in almost all spheres of life. They can handle "technology" far better than us; they get to choose from many times the career choices that we could; they have more money making opportunities and can exploit them much better than us; they are better citizens of the world because of their increased international travel; they are more confident - outspoken - communicative and independent than an average member of our generation was and of course earn more (even taking into account the reduced purchasing power of the rupee) than what we did.

You will agree that this is how it should be. If a succeeding generation is not "better" than the previous one, how can we claim that we are progressing - both economically and as a society.

There is however one serious blot on this otherwise clean canvas. The present generation does not like to read books. Maybe this is so because it is difficult to read books on a computer (or a television) screen to which most of them are "glued" to, throughout the day. Reading (virtually any kind) is "beneficial" to ones mental & therefore physical health and those not practicing it are denying themselves a great source of pleasure, entertainment and knowledge. Readers would have guessed that I am particularly referring to "extra curricular" reading. Movies - the staple food of this generation, unfortunately cannot jump start the process of "maturing" their viewers as books can. A book can be leisurely "chewed" while a movie has to be "gulped down".

It is not as if lesser number of books are being written - it is just that the number of readers has not increased proportionately. This is surprising since literacy levels have actually gone up. I have decided to do my bit to change things.

1. This is a link to My Library in Google Books. Here, I have listed my personal favourites. This should help those who keep asking me to recommend what they should read. The list is now just a click away. I have labeled the books in different categories, added my notes and given star ratings to all of them.
2. Did you know that we now have available (also in India) two state -of - the - art gadgets that allow you to download e-books (at a fraction of the cost of hard copies) that can be read on conveniently designed hand held electronic readers? Yes I am referring to Amazon Kindle and Sony touch. Both weigh under 300 grams, have 6 - inch screens, can store over 500 books, make available to you a library of over 2,00,000 e-books & have many features that will widen your eyes in amazement. Electronic geeks should no longer have excuses about not reading books. Just click the above links for all details.
3. Why not spread the habit by presenting books instead of bouquets or sundry gifts, on all possible occasions?

Choosing a career for your child !

I am reproducing my article published in the Nagpur edition of Times of India.

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Like all difficult decisions, choosing a career for your child often gets postponed until the last moment and is then somehow “got over with”. Many of us spend the rest of our life finding justifications for “career” related mistakes that were avoidable. The process appears all the more bewildering to today’s parents because during their time, there just weren’t so many choices and “listening” to elders was invariably the norm. They can’t understand how their own children could have become so precocious (and hence difficult to browbeat). Parents do deserve sympathy alongwith good advice on how to choose the right career for their children.

(1) Do not give importance to what the current trend is – rather find out what your child is comfortable with.

Many careers have been grounded because parents couldn’t wait to see their child become an “engineer” just because the neighbour’s kid was an engineer. Most careers require specific educational and psychological skills. Parents must make use of psychometric tests to match these skill sets with the personality of an individual.

(2) Study the grades that your child obtained in various subjects,

during the last few years at school!

Teach him/her some lessons yourself (parents these days are so dependent on tuition classes that they have almost forgotten the art of teaching their own children). Even a few minutes every day will give you an insight into whether he is quick on the uptake while studying “physical sciences” or “languages” or both.

(3) Never insist on the child becoming your own photocopy.

There is no law in genetics that says that children are born with the same skills as their parents. So don’t insist on the impossible. Many frustrations have their root cause in this “yearning” of parents. If a doctor’s son is a good singer, so be it.

(4) Always shortlist two or three alternatives for in-depth study.

Don’t feel bad about being so ignorant of the plethora of alternatives available and more importantly, don’t feel jealous that these didn’t exist in your time. Talk things over with concerned experts. Do not, I repeat do not send your child to do this legwork. If it had been possible for him or her to decide, why would you have been in the picture at all? Remember whatever else you may not be able to do, you can ask the right questions. Attend special seminars that get conducted. If you want your child to go abroad, going to more than one expert becomes a must. Do not presume that the so-called expert is really so. He might have read about what he is telling you, just yesterday.

(5) Choose the right college or training institute.

This could be confusing especially when you are choosing a training institute. Look for two parameters. Has the owner of the training institute successfully cleared the examination that he claims to train his students for? How are the past results of that institution? Past results never tell lies. Insist on talking to at least some of the faculties to get an insight into their competence.

(6) Choose the career that gives your child more options, later.

If he does BCA (Bachelors in Computer Applications), then the next option has to be MCA! However if he does B Com then he could do either M.Com or MCA. Obviously the second choice is better. Another good case in point could be the BBA (Bachelors in Business Administration) course. While it gives no special benefits during MBA admissions – that is the only logical path that it leads to. Avoid such “close ended lanes”.

(7) Choose a career that is expected to increase your wards’ “job-value.”

Irrespective of what many say, choose a career that you think will get him a more lucrative job. If this also happens to be what he likes most - so much the better! Most of the students choose to become MBA because of the pot of gold that they see at the “end of the rainbow” and not because they “love” business management. I see nothing wrong in this provided they are willing to go through the rigours of a good management course.

In our culture, parents are expected to mould the careers of their children so that the latter could support them, later. Don’t criticize children if they do not succeed – it may be due to the incorrect career guidance given earlier. I am reminded of what a wag once said, though in a different context - “Don’t criticize your wife too much; it may be because of these very defects in her that she did not get a better husband”.

How high is your SQ?

Spirituality is often wrongly equated to complete renunciation of desires. Mythological stories reinforce the view that to be spiritual, one needs to sever all attachments and meditate in splendid isolation (in maybe the Himalayas). Since this is neither economically nor socially logical (especially when we are young), most of us conclude that pursuing a spiritual path is at best a "post retirement" activity. In reality, spirituality is all about conquering or mastering your senses. If you crave for an ice cream but use the power of your mind to abstain from eating it, I guess you are exhibiting "spirituality". Going to temples, observing a fast, following prescribed rituals or dutifully listening to religious discourses do not necessarily make you a spiritual person.

Though research has proved long ago that IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is not such an efficient parameter, we continue to use it as a predictor of "success in later life", by designing academic curricula and examination-patterns that basically test the students' IQ. Psychologists have now established that EQ (Emotional Quotient) plays a far greater role in this process of becoming "successful". However it is a persons' SQ (Spiritual Quotient) that seems to determine how successful and happy the person is likely to be.

Which personality traits increase ones' Spiritual Quotient?

1. Flexibility: It is common knowledge that inflexibility is the cause of un-happiness. Haven't we seen flexible plants and trees easily surviving storms? Rapid progress of technology has made many so called "experts", obsolete – so if they obstinately stick to their guns (as inflexible persons are prone to do), they are surely going to be wiped away. The least flexible persons in a society are ironically the religious fundamentalists who claim to be high on spirituality. Secular individuals who admit that there could be other paths to salvation are thus at a higher level of spirituality than those with the "my daddy strongest" syndrome.

2. Ability to ask fundamental questions: True seekers of knowledge should neither be biased in their approach nor afraid of being proved wrong. They must possess an uncanny ability to get to the core of an issue by asking fundamental questions. Contrary to what we would normally believe, an atheist could thus be more spiritual than a religious person. This habit of seeking answers to myriads of doubts that surround us, soon becomes an important aspect of the seekers' personality. We have always known that in the long run, hypocrites and shams achieve little success or happiness.

3. Ability to use suffering as a means of progress: Even the richest and the most powerful amongst us cannot deny that we all get our quota of "suffering" in life. Suffering is of course relative. For a person used to flying business class, the necessity to travel by AC II tier is acute "suffering" (the recession has heaped such financial ignominies on many). For the slum – dog - millionaires, suffering could come in the form of a demolition squad about to raze their shanties to the ground. The type of suffering does not matter – what matters in determining your SQ is your ability to withstand it stoically and learn from it so that you could prevent its recurrence or at least mitigate its effect in future. Those who appeal to the Almighty to deliver them from their troubles & wait for something to happen are thus far less spiritual than the ones who spur themselves to more meaningful action. Don't we say that GOD helps those who help themselves – why do we often forget this maxim when it is time to act?

4. Causing minimum harm: Harm includes infliction of physical and mental pain. It would be foolish to presume that in a competitive environment as we live today, actions will cause no harm. One can surely [a] avoid causing of deliberate or malicious harm; [b] choose alternatives that minimize hardships.

5. Firm belief in the superiority of POWER of the MIND: Are you aware of the weaknesses and strengths of your personality and more importantly are you engaged in the constant process of reducing the former and nurturing the latter? Do you possess the mental discipline to exhibit "humility" in spite of your intelligence and power? Can you forgive? Can you be benignly detached from persons and material luxuries surrounding you?

Do you realise friends that in this process of increasing your SQ, you are predominantly your own trainer?

Will Science & Religion ever see eye to eye?

Religion & Science are old "enemies". If you go by the number of followers, the former is a clear winner. If it ever comes to choosing only one of them, an overwhelming majority is expected to abandon the latter. "Religion" has always scoffed at "Science" as being incapable of evaluating religious philosophies while "Science" has maintained that "Religion" expects its followers to slavishly & irrationally accept whatever is told to them. Let's look at this a little dispassionately.

[1] Field of operation: Many vital operating principles of religion pertain to the time period either before birth or after death. Thus you have religions telling you how you will be rewarded (or punished) in the next birth or in the post - death period depending upon how you lived your life in this birth. Good deeds get rewarded and bad ones result in pain and trouble. For obvious reasons, it is impossible to verify any of these things. Science on the other hand operates in the material world on the basis of either empirical data (observations without necessarily understanding why a certain thing happens in a certain manner) or hard evidence and educated predictions.

[2] New Discoveries: All progress in "science" can be attributed to the un- quenching thirst for more knowledge (research) without resting on ones' laurels and the innate wish to invent more efficient procedures & to establish hypotheses - not all of which may be 100% true (but which are statistically significantly true). To quote an example, we first had telephone instruments with rotary dialing - then with push button dialing - we then had cell phones and maybe we will soon have "thought - controlled - diallers" which will dial out a number by reading our mind. Internet is another example of how technology has given us a tool which appeared "magical" just a few decades ago. Religion on the other hand has primarily remained the same for thousands of years with no "inventions" or new ideas. It actually prides itself on being so "perfect" that no further developments are expected.

[3] Ability to provide cogent explanations: Religion discourages fundamental questioning while Science thrives on it. Imagine a 15 year old school boy questioning the theory propounded by a Nobel Laureate - the latter would be happy to convince the youngster about the efficacy of the theory without in any way feeling hurt about being challenged by a novice. Now imagine a religious pundit trying to answer seemingly obvious doubts that could creep into the mind of anyone about many things that religion strongly believes in (for example, how can a child be born of a virgin mother OR how could an elephants head be fitted on a human torso). The questioner will most likely be told that he is too "raw" to understand these things or met with "spiritual" anger about being blasphemous. Isn't this exactly how parents stonewall innocuous but embarrassing queries from toddlers?

[4] Loyalty: Most religions expect complete and blind loyalty from their followers. Rebels are encouraged to "leave the room". Religion generates such intense passions that it has been a direct or indirect cause of almost all wars fought in the history of mankind. Science on the other hand expects its followers to be guided by logic and evidence. It actually encourages "destabilization" of existing beliefs (theories) and welcomes rebels because that is how it has progressed all these years.

On all the parameters that we have examined till now, 'science' and 'religion' are diametrically opposite to each other. Are there no commonalities at all??

[5] Ability to generate commerce: Yes this is one ability common to both. Religion & Science both generate commerce on a huge scale. If people were to stop celebrating religious festivals, our GDP could come down to half of what it is - even the errant monsoons do not have such immense power over our financial future.

All in the name of the poor farmer

This is a message that I received from another group. I was impressed with its clarity and decided to post it on CLEAR FUNDAS. There is plenty of food for thought - if not for the farmer's plate.

"With monsoon failure and farmer suicides back to hogging the media headlines, once again it is time for the ever proverbial doles to farmers . Every arm chair socialist suddenly develops bleeding heart for the 'poor farmer in distress' . Every rural marketing project which was shelved for long , suddenly resurfaces with the tagline - to benefit the poor Indian kisan (farmer)'.

Most people know very little of rural India, or are too scared to speak on such a 'touchy' topic lest they be seen as anti-social. Being a 'social entrepreneur' at least the least we can do is to rip the face masks off such pseudo measures.This post is dedicated to the thousands of people who have benefited 'in the name of the farmer'. I hope by end of this post, even if one of them develops areal conscience , we would consider our expose a small step in right direction ;-)

Rip off number 1 : Farmers are poor and this justifies loan waivers

Well, that depends on whom you consider as a farmer. Recently there were media reports of Amitabh Bachhan claiming to be a farmer in UP , and a Union minister who waived off loans for farmers , resulting in his own mother in law claiming how much he himself gained from such a write off ! Even after land ceiling acts , there are several BMW farmers in our midst ! Most real farmers in India who are poor do not own any land - they operate on lease or work as labourers and hence cant keep land as collateral for loans.

Rip off number 2 : Green revolution has increased our yield

Well, if you call importing rice, wheat, Australian grapes & Chinese water melons as REVOLUTION ! Our home grown Simla apples are hardly to be seen in our shelves . Our Elakki bananas are a lost species. And then the same 'fathers of Indian agriculture' hold conferences to protect global bio diversity after completely wiping out our own local horticulture products.

Answer this simple question O father who knows all - 'if we had a green revolution, then why are we IMPORTING even staple items which are very much available in India ?'

Rip off number 3 : The farmers need more cold storages to store their yield and get better prices

Well, if you think cold storage is a big size fridge . But people fail to realise that even the smallest of fridges need POWER SUPPLY to keep things cool. Now , with even large metros struggling to maintain sustained power supply, and most rural areas under 12 hour shut downs , tell me if we even can assure our farmers that we can provide energy to run even a SMALL FRIDGE ? With rising cost of diesel, do you think they can run off generators ??

In fact several multi crore cold storage projects have been quietly bitten to dust owing to poor utilisation. Ask SAFAL/SNX , Cochin airport authorities and the several agri food parks dotting our country sides ... you'll be surprised at the number of cold storages that have actually been built and are rusting today for want of electric power supply !

Rip off number 4 : Farmers are under clutches of money lenders. Micro finance will save them !

Well, provided the people who run micro finance agencies are angels with hearts of Mother Teresa. What is attracting hordes of bankers like flies to flame are the high interest rates in MFI - often close to 30-40% . But what they Don't realise is that the money lender often lives IN the village and always there- Not a casual annual visitor , who stays in a five star hotel , and drive around in SUV, and reads Harvard case studies on alleviating poverty !! The money lenders not only finance the farmer's production, but also any incident in his family - death of his family members, his children's marriage , or even for booze !! Now which MFI has those in their loan agreements ;-)

Mohammed Younus and Grameen bank was an innovation because it grew out of active social projects. Ask even the best of MFI's to really show how their money has been utilised , you will find them dodging the question. Recently, one MFI claimed to be funding millions of farmers across TN, we asked them if we could source from their farmers communities as it would improve the prices and repayment capability- and we never got a call back !!

Rip off number 5 : Indian farmers need to reach global standards and target export markets to get better prices.

Well, that's true if you skipped right through history class in high school. remember Mohanjadaro & Harappa having granaries & modern agri tools ? Read about the silk route and Chinese travelers who wrote tomes on India's richness ? Read about our Kings sending out naval ships laden with best of peppers & spices ? every conquering army from Moghuls to the British came in attracted by the richness of our agricultural products. And ironically, America was discovered 'by mistake' as Columbus was trying to chart a route to INDIA !!

And to think these same westerners are back in new garbs , stating that we are POOR in EXPORT quality !! Here's a gentle reminder note to our western readers : "Dudes - our forefathers ran the granaries of the world civilisation when your's were hanging from trees !!"

Then why this sudden gap in 'global gap' standards ? Firstly, we feel that there is nothing Global about these Global gaps. These are promoted by few dominant retail giants like Tescos & Walmarts of the world who have a rather skewed picture of what is the 'right fruit' - To extend their own racist backgrounds , the items have to be 'white , bright , shiny & spotless' - who cares what is inside , as long as it sells ! These standards are set again by developed nations , who mostly are 'meat eaters' , where vegetables & fruits are used for salads & table decoration.

With more than 1.4 billion domestic customers and another millions global diaspora of NRIs, we don't even need to look beyond our own kin for a target audience.

Rip off number 6 : We need to invest in more agri research and dissemination to farmers

Crores are being spent on research projects on how to increase the yield and productivity. But strangely nobody seems to do much to reduce the 'wastage' which is almost 50% of the yield ? Lets put this in perspective. Suppose you are working hard to earn for your family , and your wife cooks a grand meal and then your kids throw half the food into garbage everyday and claim they are not fed , what would you do ? Will you : (1)go and start working OVERTIME in office to earn MORE money so your wife can cook MORE food and bring to table and occasionally borrow from neighbours? OR (2) SPANK your kids to start respecting the food already ON THE TABLE ??

Well, if you were a normal person you would choose option 2. But if you happen to be an agri researcher or a government official in agri department , option 1 IS the obvious choice ;-). well, I think you would have got my point by now. Money saved is money earned - similarly less wastage is equivalent to more production . What research are we doing to reduce wastage ? To start with - do we even have demand/supply data with us ?

Stop chasing the light at end of tunnel - because every researcher wants to 'discover' this silver bullet solution to solve world hunger. Often the problem is , they are facing the wrong end of the tunnel !!

Rip off number 7 : GM crops are a boon to Indian farmer v/s Organic/Natural farming is the solution to restoring natural balance v/s Organic farming doesn't have enough yield

Funny , that these concepts are ALL originating from the west . All these statements are backed by research and consulting agencies and expensive certifications . GM crops which have been banned in western countries are openly flouted as 'god's gift' to Indian farmer. And on the same note, we see the government claiming that Year's of abuse of fertilisers & chemicals has destroyed yield and promoting organic/natural farming. We have saying in Tamil ' pinch the kid and rock the cradle'. Dear Agricultural minister - when you are not busy between IPL cricket match schedules and posing with cheer leaders - can you please resolve this little dilemma ?

Rip off number 8 : India doesn't get enough rain to do farming owing to repeated monsoon failure

Well, yaaawwwn .How long are we going to hear this same sob story ? Is it that the rain gods are ONLY angry with India and rest of the countries are all well taken care of ? Global climatic change is a pretty worldwide phenomenon by now . What others have done is anticipate this, and taken measures to plan, protect and allocate their natural resources wisely . For example, China doesn't do boo-hoo over poor rainfall ? Is lord Indra leaning towards communism

India's agri planning & water resource planning has 'malfunction' written all over it. between politicians, environmentalists, naxals and NGOs , all the waters we get either get lost to ocean or results in skewed flood/drought combinations that when we look at macroscopic picture, we have to admit - even God helps only those who help themselves . best of weather satellites and Abdul Kalams not withstanding, our rain & water management is just PATHETIC . With a slightly more stronger central govt. we hope at least this time our prime minister can wield a stronger stick amongst the state governments to cooperate better - or else !

Rip off number 9 : Information technology can rescue the farmers

Well, after they manage to rescue themselves ;-) Given the global meltdown, and scams that have tarnished the much glorified IT incs. Yes, technology definitely can aid the millions of India's poor. But problem is the business houses have always more tuned to working with HNI's and $$ customers, that the huge mindset shift which is required to adjust to Indian customers and that too those BPL is too vast for now. India's IT companies have built the backbone of the worlds leading supply chains & agri businesses, but look within and we just about have put a cell phone in every person's hand. There is a LOT that can be done in this sector , provided one knows where to start ad how to go about.

Rip off number 10 : We need to create rural hubs - provide commodity futures trading, health care, insurance and FMCG products to improve farmer's lifestyle and needs

Well, if you ask any farmer he will tell you he has already discovered such a hub - it is called the 'CITY' - duh ? Just like any city bred middle class man always dreams of going to the West & settling down in land of opportunities , the villagers also harbour dreams to coming to our cities ! They want to drive cars (maybe not Tata's Nano - but the swankier Camry's) , live in high rise apartments , and send their kids to private school and get treated in Apollo hospitals. You think I am joking - just look at any village today - you won't find any youngsters - they are all in the city , powering the BPO & call centres. Attend any rural job fair and the single point requirement is to 'settle down in the city'. Even the farmers are pushing their kids to move away from their villages The real estate boom has increased land values to such levels in last few years that it is lot more lucrative to sell the land and live off its riches than toil on it.

Our great minds in planning commissions assume the farmers to be 'village idiots' - but the jokes are on them now. The pace of change in rural India is so drastic and the migrations to city so rapid , that most of these Utopian projects like 'farmer's hubs' are becoming ghost towns. people have always tried to 'sell' things to farmers, without actually realising that they haven't done much to 'buy' things from them ? Every village now has one rupee sachet shampoos which have become success stories in rural BOP marketing, read by generations of MBA graduates - but go to any wholesale Mandi near the city and look at how vegetables are sold - in crude gunny bags and open crates !!No case study there Mr. IIM professor !

The city dweller may cherish this dream of fresh air, green fields and swinging by the Babul tree - but the villagers are just bored ... they would rather see all that in a multiplex . Mr. Gandhi, had he been alive would have rephrased his statement - "India lives in villages .. but the villagers are living in our metros ". Well, shocked ? upset ? dazed ? So are we... lot of the myths which have been built around us about villagers are breaking every day . The more we think we know about rural India, the farther we seem to be from truth .

What is written above is but a small pebble.. we need more pebbles, and more throwers ... lets stop romanticising about the farmers . There is NOTHING romantic being an Indian farmer today . If you can't genuinely do anything for them, at least stop raping them and telling them that you are doing a great service to them. As Michael Jackson would have put it - "if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a ... CHANGE"."

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Good News

Friends, I am happy that all editions of Times of India on August 9th carried my article "The religion of Reason" - in their Sunday column "Mind over Matter". It is based on a blog written earlier on CLEAR FUNDAS. As suggested by the editor, I expanded the original blog - you can access this version at the following link.

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=VE9JTS8yMDA5LzA4LzA5I0FyMDIxMDA=&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom

This is the second time in the last few months that something written on CLEAR FUNDAS has been published in TOI. The last occasion was on March 26th, 2009 when my blog on 'Maximizing Happiness" was published in THE SPEAKING TREE on the editorial page (this one had to be abridged and was given a different title).

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The last blog on "improving curiosity quotient" produced a spate of responses - most of which were sent to me by e mail instead of posting them on the blog - site.

Let me first tackle the two questions that I had left un-answered.

Why do we give a red carpet welcome?

Suman Bose (his comment has been posted on the blog-site) is absolutely right. Red happens to be the colour of our blood - the most precious thing that we possess. So when we welcome somebody with a red carpet welcome, it signifies the importance we attach to that person and to the act of welcoming him / her.

Why do cell phones have no dial tone?

In land - line phones, 48 Volts DC voltage is provided to the telephone instrument by the "central exchange" of the telephone company. This voltage can be used to produce any audio signal. Telephone companies all over the world choose one of the standard audio signals (we call this the dial tone). You must have noticed that on important days (like the New Years Day for example) the telephone company many a times, provides standard greeting messages (on lifting the receiver of the phone) which keep on repeating themselves. In such cases the greeting message is itself the "dial tone". It stops the moment you start dialing. Since there is no voltage provided as an input to the cell phone instrument from the central exchange of the service provider, there is no "dial tone" in a cell phone. One could of course use the battery of the cellphone to produce an artificial "dial tone" - but this would serve no particular purpose and in fact would drain the battery faster. The wireless signal received by the cellphone instrument from the tower is a good enough confirmation of connectivity.

Since readers have shown such acute interest in these "tellmewhy" questions, let me ask a few more, this week ( for all of you to chew on).

• How did the expression "back to square one" originate?
• Can someone die of a "broken heart" [induced for example by a girl/boyfriend jilting you)?
• Why does only 'February' have 28 or 29 days?
• What is the difference between a marriage and a wedding?

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