Stay alive after death!

According to a recently published news item, the Supreme court felt that while deaths could be homicidal, accidental or suicidal in nature, the Indian legal system also recognises the concept of CIVIL DEATH, which can apply to a person who is alive and kicking. The judge explained that as per Hindu laws and customs, a hale and hearty person who performs his own last rites during his lifetime after renouncing the world & taking "sanyas" is legally deemed to be dead.

Now this could indeed lead to very interesting situations. Instead of declaring insolvency (which is such a legal pain) businessmen not wanting to pay their creditors could just cease to legally exist by taking this sanyas - the law surely can't punish the "dead".

A person could now have two death anniversaries - one legal and the other, real. Followers of important national leaders could try and prevail upon their ageing leaders to take "sanyas" since it would eventually lead to two national holidays - making the leader even more popular.

Since this civil death is based on a ritual, a "re-conversion" to normal life would also be possible by another ritual which will soon get invented - if it does not already exist. Now what would happen if such a "sanyasi" returns back to normal life? Could he be officially designated as a ghost? To further complicate matters, what happens if this re-converted sanyasi marries and has children? Would the offspring be known as baby ghosts and would their passports be the first official 'ghost-passports' ever issued ?

We have all heard of married Hindu males getting converted to Islam in order to marry a second time without attracting the long arm of the law (rermember Chand and Fiza). Resorting to 'civil death' could become very popular with income tax evaders. Imagine the income tax defaulter telling the leader of the raiding team that he just "died" an hour ago and then producing the original death certtificate. Shastris performing the ritual of 'sanyas' would be in great demand for they would be the only ones empowered to sign the 'civil death' certificate. Looking at the rush to acquire this qualification, every university will have a AICTE approved post graduate degree to confer upon its students the title of a 'shastri' recognised to prescribe and conduct the process of this 'sanyas'. Leaving IIMs and IITs far behind, this course will acquire a premium of its own and a tough new Joint Entrance Test (JEE) will have to be created to fill the limited seats available. Coaching classes will then overnight spring up at Jhumritalaiya (which will be called the Kota of this JEE) and other places promising a golden future.

It is not difficult to predict that the scheme of such a "death" would eventually become so popular that there would be separate colonies where these persons would stay, raise families (though this is forbidden in 'sanyas', can anyone stop these social and biological urges) work, elect representatives for their parliament, have their own police force, hospitals, schools, judiciary and maybe reservations for different castes (caste certificate issed by the original society will be accepted as sufficient proof) in government and private sectors and have all the other trappings of a normal society except that all this would be for those who have renounced the 'normal' society in which we presently live. Who knows,one day the supreme court of this "parallel community" might announce that it is possible for Hindus to perform religious rites on themselves to once again acquire the status of a person who is alive.

How good a devotee are you?

 Yes, we are indeed talking about devotion to GOD! 

Most of us would equate devotion with prostrating before an idol of our favourite GOD or then keeping a "fast" (say on करवा चौथ ) or going to a temple on predetermined days or then carrying out a सत्यनारायण   पूजा   or going to holy places like Shirdi or  attending religious orations (the ultimate fashion these days) . Do you think this is what real devotion is? 

(1)    Are you confusing devotion with rituals? 

 All religious rituals are supposed to create the right mental ambience to enable more effective communication with GOD. So, if you are a good devotee, don't feel satisfied at just following the rituals - keep track of the ultimate goal; that of communicating with the ALMIGHTY. 

(2)    Shouldn't Communication with GOD be strictly personal? 

Every individual has to have a personal equation with GOD. This is not something that can be done collectively.  Community Projects which require tangible assets  (money, clothes, crutches etc.) need to be done collectively because the demand for these far outstrips the supply and a single individual, howsoever rich, will never be able to provide these. Praying to GOD is not a community project - it is an individual and a strictly personal activity and therefore should be done singly. The joint singing of devotional songs (आरती ), consuming the महाप्रसाद  and doing जागरण  can by no means be classified as PRAYERS.  They are at best, group exercises. The moment you realise this truth, you will also realise that praying does not need to have a fixed time or day. There is a permanent hot line of your own, available to you all the time and always at zero cost. Haven't you heard that a first rate mind always thinks alone! A first rate devotee always prays (communicates) alone. 

(3)    Do you follow religious practices, out of fear of the unknown? 

Devotion is not the monopoly of persons who are "religious" by nature. I conducted a small survey (which may not have a statistical significance, but which does indicate a trend) in which the following five questions were asked. Why don't you rate yourself on the same queries? Be truthful, though! 

•      गणेश , the elephant GOD "likes"  मोदक (sweet eatable made out of sugar and grated coconut). For a change, will you be comfortable offering श्रीखंड  पूरी  on the day of गणेश  चतुर्थी , this year? 
  
•     You perform the पूजा  everyday, in your house. Will you be willing to give it a weekly holiday? 
  
•     Your family has been performing the traditional (nine days) नवरात्रि  पूजा  at home, since the days of your forefathers. This year, can you agree to donate an equivalent amount to an orphanage, instead of celebrating this traditional पूजा? 
  
•     You go to the शनि  मंदिर  every Saturday.  The coming week, can you go there on a Sunday, instead? 
  
•     There are two sets of pundits (पुजारी)  - those who perform the auspicious "पूजा " and others who perform the religious rituals after a death. Are you willing to invite one of the latter groups to solemnize the marriage in your family? 
  

An overwhelming percentage of respondents were unwilling to do any of this and could not explain why. Ask yourself if you are a good robot or a good devotee? 

(4)  Are you the type who prays to ask for a favour ? 

We sometimes put GOD in an impossible situation. We either want to strike a deal with HIM (I don't know why GOD is always considered male) or want to leave everything to HIM or want to berate HIM for favours supposedly denied. A good devotee prays because he feels "peaceful and contented", after doing so. This state of mind ultimately leads to better performance in whatever you do and these could be the real benefits of devotion. 

(5)  Do you make it a point to "understand" the philosophy behind the rituals that you carry out? 

You will be surprised, but most of our children (and adults too) do not know the full meaning of our own national anthem. Imagine them singing something that they do not fully comprehend. How can we expect them to be filled with pride for the country, if they do not even know what they are uttering? This has been the bane of our education system. Parents do not help their children to understand what they insist the children must compulsorily learn to say (आरती  or श्लोक  for example), because they were never helped by their own parents to find these meanings. My survey says that more than 60% of the people who sing the most common गणपती  ची  आरती  in Marathi (सुख करता , दुःख  हरता …) do not know its meaning. Good devotees recite only what they understand and conversely, first understand what they want to recite.  

In conclusion may I remind you of that pearl of wisdom from Mahatma Gandhi? 

It is not those who do not have eyes who are blind! 

Blind are those who inspite of having eyes refuse to 'see'

Is our attitude towards youth, fair?

Most elders (say above 45) look towards young people with "coloured glasses".  Many of our pet theories about what is wrong (note the negative connotation) with these youngsters can be traced to this attitude that we harbour against the young ones.  I can't fathom what happens to us as soon as we step into this side of adulthood. We start being critical of the beliefs and behaviour of the young - fully forgetting that we ourselves, not so long ago, resented this trait in our elders.  I am sure that if we bring about a change in our attitude, the younger generation will cease to appear as a bunch of rebels - as it presently does to most of us.  Let us examine some of these typical mind-sets that we adults possess:

 1)  Youth as a Problem versus Youth as an ASSET.   Biologically, younger people are stronger and this sometimes builds up a psychological resentment amongst the elders.  With rapid progress that science and technology has made, elders sometimes become "obsolete" in their own homes (remember how efficiently your children handle the computer or video games and how sheepish you feel when you can't do it). The oldies react by "downsizing" the young ones just because they can't stomach getting "overshadowed". So, don't rush to the conclusion of youth being a problem.  Try to make use of their superior strength and smartness so that they are an asset to you.  This change in attitude will do wonders for both. 

2)               Youth as UPSTARTS and breakers of traditions versus youth as harbingers of change. Nothing is permanent except change.  The dynamism and energy that the young ones possess make them try out  various alternatives to a given problem (in a short time) and we sometimes interpret this as disrespect for the traditional approach adopted by us.  No risks - no gains, they say.  Many path-breaking discoveries have come about only because somebody decided to try something new.  We all agree that without change, our society will wither.  Why not think of the young ones as harbingers of change instead of berating them as upstarts?  Try this change in attitude--it will do wonders for both. 

3)                  Youth as morally corrupt versus recognition of the fact that moral standards could have changed. If you read history and literature written down the ages, you will realize that every generation has condemned its youth as morally corrupt.  At this rate, the youth of today should be corrupt beyond all limits.  But if you look at this from a different angle, you will realize that every succeeding generation has had slightly looser definition of moral standards of behaviour.  With the onset of AIDS, this trend seems destined for a reversal.  Soon, each succeeding generation will be more prudish. The “pendulum” of social norms would have then come back a full circle.  Someone has said in a lighter vein that parents are not so concerned with why norms of moral behaviour changed but about why this happened so late? 

4)                  Youth as selfish versus youth as responsive to only problems concerning themselves. A large percentage of adults feel that the young ones are selfish and show interest only if something concerns them.  Being selfish is not a vice though being excessively so is not a virtue either.  We must realize that a young mind lives in the immediate "present" and is more concerned with what's happening "here and now", as against "there and then".  It is natural that it gets involved with its own problems rather than those of others.  Later in life it realizes that solving others' problems leads to a greater satisfaction.  Surely we can't blame the youth for immaturity -after all they are young.

5)                  Youth as disrespectful versus youth as more knowledgeable. All generations have complained about the young ones being disobedient and disrespectful towards their elders.  It is difficult to digest that  the younger mind is better informed and would not want to respect those elders who clearly appear less knowledgeable.  Before accepting this theory, I would request all of us to truthfully assess whether in a given situation, we indeed are being confronted by a better informed mind.  If it is so - let's not blame the whole generation.  Respect is earned and cannot be demanded.

            So my dear fellow - oldies! Let's resolve to stop looking through these coloured glasses and re-examine our pet attitudes and biases before forming an opinion about the young.  Remember, the younger we are, the more we want to change this world; the older we get, the more we want to change the young.  Let's remain perennially "young" in our thoughts.

        I came across these unbelievable videos shared by Arvind Virmani, my IIM batchmate. They are symptomatic of the power of youth that we are talking about though frankly there is no age bar when it comes to befriending lions.  E N J O Y...

 

Can you figure this out? (Edition 3)

So strong has been the response to the earlier two editions of "Can you figure this out?" [published on CLEAR FUNDAS on 11th September 2008 and 22nd March 2009] that I decided to post EDITION 3. Read on...

(1) Does celibacy increase spirituality?

Every religion gives a lot of importance to celibacy when it comes to choosing their preachers. As examples, we have nuns and priests amongst Roman Catholics & "sadhvis" amongst Jains. Is there any research study that indicates a positive correlation between celibacy and high spirituality? Suppressing natural urges in an unnatural manner should actually lead to problems - we all know how the church had to settle (out of court) hundreds of cases against priests who sexually abused children in their parish. The original purpose of having un - married preachers was surely due to the expectation of single-minded devotion (without family pressures) to spread religion. Surprisingly, Hinduism does not insist on lifelong bachelorhood for its preachers.

(2) In a predominantly Hindu country like India, why are the epics "Ramayan" & "Mahabharat" not included in the syllabus of "History" in schools and universities?

Isn't it surprising that these pious stories on which all of us have been raised since childhood are not included in 'history' syllabus anywhere? Every university has a department of "ancient history" but even there, these epics are never taught or researched upon. Is it because there is little or no evidence that could stand academic scrutiny?

(3) Why do we lock our temples?

Isn't  it strange that GOD who is the "PROTECTOR" of everything in this world cannot take care of himself? Leave alone rich temples which have many items that could be stolen - even those that have nothing much to attract thieves - are securely locked. How come all devotees presume that the same GOD would be capable of granting all their wishes when they come and pray to HIM in the same temple.

(4) Is the caste system any different from racism?

I have heard many Hindus fervently explaining why the caste system started and how scientific it is - in terms of division of labour. They are never able to explain why large sections of people were mercilessly exploited for centuries, on the basis of their birth - something that was out of their control. I have never heard of any Hindu religious leader apologise to vast sections of fellow Hindus or those who left the fold of Hinduism (more importantly fellow human beings) for the treatment that was meted out to their forefathers- ironically in the name of divinity and religion. I see little difference between our caste system and racism that is practiced elsewhere.

(5) Why was Lord Ganesh given an elephant - head?

As the story goes, after creating Ganesh out of her body-dirt, he was instructed by Parvati to prevent intruders while she was taking a bath. True to his duty, Ganesh challenged Lord Shiva from coming inside the house. Shiva in his anger beheaded Ganesh but after finding out his identity, revived him from death and stuck the head of a passing elephant on to his torso. Now what intrigues me is that if Shiva had the power to revive people after death, he could also have stuck the original human - head back on to Ganesh's body. Why did he have to kill a passing elephant? More importantly how come the all powerful Lord Shiva did not know who Ganesh was?

(6) Why is it necessary for a crow [& not some other animal] to touch the "pind" (balls of cooked rice that represent the departed sould during post death Hindu rituals) of a dead person, essential?

The crow has indeed been given this important task of pecking at the rice balls to indicate that un fulfilled wishes of the departed person have now been satisfied. It is a common practice for relatives of the dead making   various announcements during this ritual [eg. Your daughter will be well looked after and so on] until the crow pecks at the rice balls. According to Ramayan, when Sita was once bathing at Nashik (when Ram was banished to the forests for 14 years) a crow looked at her with impure intentions. Ram then cursed all crows that they would forever be despised & shunned by humans. When the crows begged for mercy, Ram partially offset the curse by proclaiming that  human beings would not be able to complete post death rituals without their help.That is how the poor crow gets his moment of glory. Now go ahead & believe all this and continue waiting for crows to peck at those rice balls.

(7) How can GOD be omniscient (knowing everything about everyone's present and future: having infinite knowledge and insight) & omnipotent (supremely powerful to do anything) at the same time?

I quote Richard Dawkins: " If God is omniscient, he must already know how he is going to intervene to change the course of history using his omnipotence - but that means he cannot change his mind about his intervention - which really means that he is not omnipotent." 

Karen Owen has captured this paradox in a witty verse:

                                                         Can omniscient God,

                                                         Who knows the future,

                                                         Find the omnipotence,

                                                         To change his Future mind!

Is Astrology logical?

Show me a person who does not want to know what the future has in store?  Astrology therefore commands a universal fascination.  I often wonder why this ancient art has not yet acquired the status of a “shastra” & also how, without having demonstrable and provable hypotheses, it is being taught as a subject in some universities?  

The horoscope which shows the planetary positions at the moment of a child’s birth is in itself a scientific document (this is “astronomy", though). This forms the basis of all astrological predictions. What appears irrational is the claim made about the effect that these planetary positions are supposed to have on the life of an individual. Which of the following should be taken as the “time” for preparing the horoscope? [a] the moment at which the child was born or [b] the moment at which it was conceived. If one opts for the former (as is usually done) then one has to conclude that (1) the distant planets have no say during the nine months that the child is in the mothers’ womb and (2) one can determine ones destiny by deciding the time of ones birth. 

 But let us leave all this aside for a moment; let us presume that present day science is not advanced enough to explain the effect that planets have on ones destiny. 

All sciences started off as empirical set of rules. This means that in given circumstances, some conclusions were so consistent that they were called “rules” or “theorems”. Like when Newton noticed that every time he let go of an object, it fell down. So this became a rule, without his knowing why it so happened. Explanations for the event were found later. Another example was the movement of the sun. While it was noticed that it always rose in the East and set in the West, it was realized much later that this was because of the earth's’ rotation around the sun. 

It is not necessary for all scientific findings to be 100% consistent. Medical science has many examples of the same treatment producing different results in different persons.  For a set of empirical rules or theorems to acquire the status of “science”, it is similarly not necessary to be 100% consistent. There are statistical techniques which will prove a hypothesis with a certain “degree of confidence”. If this degree is sufficiently high, then the hypothesis is accepted as a scientific law. There are “perfect sciences” like Physics or Chemistry where this degree of confidence is indeed 100% but there are other “softer sciences” like Psychology where the degree of confidence is lower and yet these hypotheses are widely accepted. 

Does astrology have such hypotheses, which can be proved with an acceptable, statistical “degree of confidence"??   

Suppose we work backwards and note down known events like marriage, death, monetary position, vocation, family size and many others, in the life of a large enough sample of individuals. Statisticians will tell us how large a sample size is required to validate the findings of this experiment. Astrologers could now demonstrate how a certain planetary position at the time of birth could have consistently forecast this known event to occur when it actually did.  This exercise could be expanded to test a number of astrological hypotheses on the basis of known events.  If all these could be proved with an acceptable “degree of confidence”, well, astrology would get the status of an empirical “science”. 

Presently we have three distinct groups of individuals in society. 

 The first is of course the one which swears by astrology but which would not subject its beliefs to any scientific scrutiny (education and designations have no role to play here  - we have Prime ministers as well as beggars in this group). They will cite example after example to demonstrate how astrology predicted something correctly. 

 The second group comprises of those who are vehemently opposed to what they think is so much “mumbo – jumbo”. They will cite numerous examples about how astrology could not predict something correctly and how ridiculous even the basic assumption of planets affecting someone's’ destiny is.  Incidentally the doctor standing near the child during its birth exercises a higher gravitational pull on the child than any planet does. Shouldn’t the doctor also therefore determine the child’s destiny?

 

 There is a third and the largest group of persons who are “sitting on the fence”. They surreptitiously read astrological predictions but outwardly show that they do so for the sake of entertainment. They hope against hope that the good predictions come true and the bad ones don't. Many websites, magazines and newspapers publish astrological predictions regularly to attract clients. 

It may be of great interest to readers that according to the famous Reader’s Digest BOOK OF FACTS, (Page 395), two 20^th century French researchers Michel Gauquelin and his wife Francoise spent 20 years of their lives investigating this very subject, and I quote hereafter: 

QUOTE:

They examined the birth data of more than 40,000 people throughout Europe to try to find correlation between birth signs, jobs and personalities. Their computerized findings were published in 1983 and their rejection of astrology was total.  There was not one piece of evidence, they concluded, to show that it was anything but a sham – despite the efforts of astrologers to prove otherwise. It is now quite certain stated Gauqueline that the signs in the sky which preside over our births have no power whatsoever to decide our fates, to affect our heredity or characteristics, or to play any part, however humble, in our lives. UNQUOTE

Astrologers should either undertake a scientific study to prove their hypotheses or gracefully abandon the pursuit of what the rationalists have always derided. Why Life Insurance companies and police departments all over the world do not take the help of astrology  has always remained a mystery.

Can your figure this out? (Edition 2)

In edition 1 of "Can you figure this out" (blog published in November 2008), I had posted 7 questions & many of you had written to me how enjoyable and perplexing those queries were. Here is some more food for thought.

(1) Why has a coconut been given the pride of place in Hindu rituals? It is in fact called "shreephal" - but do you know why a coconut has been awarded this numero uno status. Many years ago (when human civilization had hardly progressed) it was common practice to offer "human sacrifice" to propitiate GOD who was offered an "abhishek" of blood from the victim. Later, a coconut was chosen to replace this reprehensible ritual. It resembled a human skull (hair, eyes, hard exterior) which when smashed gave milk that was now used to offer the abhishek. So remember, everytime you offer a coconut in a temple you are symbolically offering a "human sacrifice". Why not take a bunch of grapes or some bananas next time? I am not sure however if that would be looked at kindly by others.

(2) Why are cases of rebirth never reported from Muslim or Buddhist families? How come all "reported" cases of someone remembering things from their previous birth are from amongst Hindus? It is another matter that none of these cases have ever been proved genuine. Hindus are virtually brainwashed right from childhood that this is what happens & the form that you take in the next birth is a reward (or punishment) of the acts that you committed in the previous birth. The Muslims or Buddhists do not believe that this happens and hence there are never any cases of "rebirth" reported from these communities. See the kind of games our mind can play on us.

(3) Why are Hindu priests who perform rituals after death not allowed to perform other "auspicious" rituals? The pecking order is clear - the former are at a lower heirarchy & are not allowed to perform marriages, for example. I can understand "death" as an inauspicious event but how can the priest become ineligible? Why create such a "caste system" even amongst Brahmins? I think it is a clear case of "commercially preserving ones turf" by the "auspicious" segment. The actual reasons given (they can handle only "unclean" events) are pure hog wash।

(4) Why are there no Hindu rituals for men to get the same wife in future "births"? While there are many for women (करवा चौथ for example) there is no similar ritual for men. Does this mean that the men are actually not very keen to have the same partners in the next birth? A friend once pointed out the bizarre situation that this can theoretically lead to. Imagine a devout Hindu wife who lived a pious life and prayed for the same husband in the next birth. Her husband however was a scoundrel in this birth itself & neither prayed nor wanted the same partner in the next birth. Lets say the husband gets re - born as a donkey ( punishment) while the lady is re-born again as a lady (getting re-born as a human is considered a reward for having lived a good life earlier). Now since the lady had prayed to marry the same husband, she has to marry the donkey.

(5) How does one explain instances of sages eating beef in Hindu mythology? In mythological stories (which are otherwise quoted extensively) there are instances of sages eating and offering non vegetarian food including beef, to their guests. I have never heard this aspect being mentioned or debated.

(6) Why did GODs have to marry in order to beget children? This never ceases to puzzle me. If GODs created human beings, why did they have to themselves marry in order to beget children. This idea of marriage is so "earthly" and "human" that I suspect that it is human beings who have created GODs.

(7) Why do we worship "shiva - linga" (शिव लिंग ) ? Why was it ordained that such a private part of the anatomy be worshipped? In spite of being a conservative community, how could we have permitted devotees, especially our womenfolk, to worship this? So explicit is the idol in temples that I fail to see any symbolism in it - even if there is one. Mythological stories explaining this are so pornographic that they cannot be recounted except in an X-rated environment.

Maximize Happiness

Good business schools have now realised that it is not enough to train managers on how to maximize wealth. Successful persons need to possess skills to maximize happiness - their own and of those around them. 

We must first differentiate between happiness and joy (or pleasure). On a warm summer day, drinking a glass of cold lemon juice gives you great pleasure - your favourite perfume gives you great joy - even scratching a bodily itch gives you immense pleasure. Pleasure is thus  momentary and sensory. Happiness, on the other hand, is "mental" and therefore infinitely more powerful. Can you measure your happiness at having stood first in a tough examination or having beaten your traditional rivals in a sport or for that matter when your children surpass your own achievements?

Are human beings happier today than what they were, say, fifty years ago? I am not sure about the answer. All the technological progress that we have achieved may not have necessarily contributed to increasing our happiness quotient. How does one then go about maximizing happiness??

(1) Identify what makes you happy!

This is a tough one! I have met very few people who are clear in their minds about what will make them happy. Since they are blissfully unclear about their objectives, they live a perennially unhappy life. Take a piece of paper and start writing what will make you happy. Don't generate "motherhood is good" type of statements & remember, a legitimate GOAL is specific, quantifiable, measurable, "achievable and challenging" (this last is not a contradiction). 

(2) Compete against yourself !

A very interesting study conducted at Harvard Business School demonstrated that people are happier when their wealth is more than their compatriots. In this study  respondents were asked to choose between the following two situations: [a] You get an annual salary of $ 1,00,000 while your compatriot gets $ 75,000; [b] You get an annual salary of $ 1,50,000 while your compatriot gets $ 1,75,000. Though the salary was more in the second case, respondents overwhelmingly preferred the first alternative thereby demonstrating that it is relative prosperity (and not absolute prosperity) that is perceived to be important. This could indeed turn out to be a major cause of un - happiness. Why not compete with oneself to constantly improve instead of grieving over someone elses' better performance?

(3) Don't expect everyone to agree with you!

Most of us equate disagreement with enmity in spite of knowing that intelligent people rarely agree on anything (because all have their own perspective and the necessary intellectual firepower to put it across). So if disagreement is going to make you unhappy you have yourself to blame. By all means try and convince the other person about your point of view but if he wants to remain where he is, let him be - discuss something else.

(4) Live your life according to your own beliefs!

After achieving financial independence, intellectual independence must follow. How long are you going to live your own life according to what someone else tells you? Life is anyway too short for you to afford this luxury. Implement your beliefs without inconveniencing others & be happy at finally having become responsible for ones own actions.

(5) Live in the PRESENT (here & now)!

The past is dead & gone - it needs to be peeped into only to learn from the mistakes that we committed. Yes go ahead and DREAM about the future but you can't enjoy it until someday it becomes your 'present'. Only "TODAY" is capable of giving you the maximum happiness - so concentrate on it. Don't postpone enjoyment - try and experience it today.

(6) Increase the number of sources of your happiness!

Gardening, singing, playing an instrument, exercising, meditating, having a healthy sexual life, counseling, making friends, watching 20/20, listening to Jagjit Singh... are all what I call sources of happiness. More the sources, more will be the happiness.

(7) Limit your desires!

All of us get caught in that vicious circle of : Motor cycle - Maruti 800 - Accent - Skoda - Mercedes - Cessna and so on....If you are buying these things to give you happiness, you will soon realise that it is short lived. I agree to the wag who said that luxury must be experienced once to realise how un necessary it really is... To put it more scientifically, incremental benefits [as you climb up this value chain of materialism] are not at all worthwhile for the incremental cost that you have to shell out. Limiting desires judiciously (without under performing) is therefore one of the most effective ways of increasing your happiness quotient.

(8) Forget & Forgive!

In any situation remember to do your best and forget the rest. Forgiving your opponents who played dirty may not make you a winner but it would surely make you happier. Jealousy and prolonged anger have long ago been identified by psychologists as agents of death.

(9) Keep your curiosity alive & kicking!

People who vigorously retain the childlike habit of asking questions in order to seek answers about why things happen the way they do, are happy on two counts (a) because they have a sense of achievement when they get the answer; and (b) this process keeps them from ageing.

(10) Shun HYPOCRISY!

We are a nation high on hypocrisy. We will worship godesses but burn brides for dowry. We will keep our courtyard clean but dump the garbage in the neighbours compound when no one is looking. We will demand respect but won't give it so easily. Hypocrisy leads to unhappiness because in his heart the perpetrator knows that he is a sham.

(11) Spend a lot of time with people younger than you!

Their happiness rubs off on you. It is indeed a zero cost way of increasing your happiness.

(12) Give! Give! Give!

Give a smile, advice, cheer, money, help or just company. This is an age old puzzle. Giving normally reduces your assets but giving away happiness actually increases your own inventory - try it out...

Here's wishing you tons and tons of happiness!!    

Unusual Surveys & Bizarre information

In the last six months we have run (on this blog) four opinion polls on various issues. I am sharing these results with you, today. The number of respondents has varied between 55 and 80 for each of these polls – so the results may not really be statistically significant. This lack of quantity has however amply been compensated by the high IQ of readers of CLEAR FUNDAS. The results (published later in reverse chronological order) surely provide a lot of “food for thought”.

But before that, I wanted to share some interesting and entertaining information that some other surveys (information obtained from WORKMAN PUBLISHING COMPANY USA) have thrown up. I am sure you will enjoy reading this. [Comments in brackets at the end of the paragraphs are mine].

(A) Tools of the trade: Folks in the 1920s looking to improve their vigor and sexual performance were helped by the Electro Thermal Company of Stubenville, Ohio and the GHR Electric Dialator Company of Grand Rapids, Michigan. These companies successfully marketed the Thermalaid & the G-H-R Electric Dialator, respectively. Both of these devices were narrow medical rods attached to power sources. They were designed to be placed in the rectum – to warm the prostate and stimulate the “abdominal brain”. Life was surely rough in those pre-Viagra days. [We have made so much progress today that I understand we are soon going to have “Viagra” eye drops so that people could take a good hard look at issues.]

(B) Foreign accent syndrome: This is a rare medical disorder that usually occurs as a side effect of severe brain injury. Patients with a stroke or other head injury are left speaking their own native language with a foreign-sounding accent. One of the first and more widely known cases was reported in 1941, when a Norwegian woman suffered a brain injury after a shrapnel-wound during a World War II air raid. She experienced severe language problems but eventually recovered, speaking with a perceived German accent. Unfortunately, adding insult to injury, this did not endear her to her neighbours and she was ostracized by her community. [Though the reverse of a hypothesis is never true, could we say that those who speak in a contrived foreign accent must be suffering from maybe an invisible “injury in the head?”].

(C) The Lap (top) dance: According to a study in sexuality research and social policy, women who meet men online seem to be more likely to have sex on their first date. The study surveyed 568 women who said they’d go out with a man they met on the Internet. The authors of the study postulate that the “high frequency and intensity of e mail communication prior to meeting in person cultivated acceleration of intimacy for the individuals involved. [And I always thought that geeks who spent hours on the computers could never “win” against those “smart” guys who preened themselves to become sure winners amongst girls]

(D) A Computerised expression: How many times have we had to tell a telephone caller to call later because the concerned person was in the “toilet”? The computer nerds have now developed a “modern” expression for the same. It goes something like this. Can I ask him to call you back – “he’s downloading some brownware just now” [I am reminded of what Bob Hope once said – “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom]

(E) What’s the fastest growing hair on your body?

Head hair 0.35 mm per day
Facial hair 0.30 mm per day
Underarm hair 0.30 mm per day
Pubic hair 0.20 mm per day
Eyebrows 0.16 mm per day

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And now for the results of polls on CLEAR FUNDAS

Poll 4

What would be your reaction to the paid ad campaign on 800 buses in UK by British Humanist Association that says "There's probably no GOD! Now stop worrying & enjoy your life"

I'm not concerned. It's their money and their idea 36%
This should be reported to authorities as an ad in bad taste 05%
The ad hurts my religious feelings & should be removed 05%
No ads either in favour or against GOD should be allowed 16%
I endorse the statement. Atheism is not a crime 38%
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Poll 3

Which according to you, will substantially Improve India’s ability to take on terrorism?

Quick trial & capital punishment to guilty 22%


Home & Defense ministers should be professionals
from army/police 16%


Place elite commandos at multiple locations to enable

reaching any part of India in 2 hours 10%

Compulsory one year military training for all youth 19%
Equip police with latest weapons 33%
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Poll 2

Which should benefit India the most?

Uniform civil code for all religions 20 %
Full computerization of land records 13 %
Reduction of massive backlog in court cases 17 %
Quick, exemplary punishment to the corrupt 32 %
Strict implementation of one - child norm 09 %
Strong measures to reduce superstitions 09 %

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Poll 1

Which according to you will be the most effective way of reducing political corruption in India???

Audit accounts of a political party and tax the surplus 16%
Extend full/part tax exemption to donations to political parties by cheque 04%


Add "none of the above" in ballot papers & if this wins, bar all candidates
from contesting for next five years 28%


Give voters the right to recall an earlier elected MLA / MP 20%

Divide the police department into "Law & Order" and "crime investigations"
with the latter headed by a professional with no political master 32%

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