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Sunday, April 17, 2011

The ultimate "career" for all of us !

Are we not all "working" towards a position where we may not have to "work" anymore? Don't we dream of a world where students will pass without appearing for any examinations; salaries would be paid to employees without their attending office; managers would rise up the corporate ladder with no accompanying increase in accountability and of the ultimate utopia - a customer accepting whatever you dish out to him (or her) without complaints and giving you repeat sales irrespective of whether your product (or service) achieved whatever it was supposed to.

Don't be startled if I say that I have found a vocation that can give all of us a stranglehold over our customers without so much as lifting the little finger. Like all super jobs, achieving proficiency in this one will require hard work and a re-orientation of your priorities. You will soon realize that it is a small cost to pay. To top it all, we could "enter this profession" irrespective of what we are currently doing !

Once you hook a customer, it is for a lifetime (unless you are horrendously clumsy)

Which other industry will offer you this benefit? You work your backside off first to get a customer and then continue doing that to retain him. Here the customer will be with you for generations (his and yours), unless you are really incompetent.

The customer hardly understands what you "sell" but doesn't seem to mind at all

Won't some of you give your right arm for such customers? It is like giving to a customer in India, an owner's manual written in Arabic, without raising any protest whatsoever.

There is no after sales service here

Do I see a sparkle in your eyes? No warranty period blues here and no annual maintenance contracts, too. The customer keeps on demanding your service, regularly.

There is no recession in this industry

Customers never reduce their budget for this service - never mind the recession. There have in fact been instances when outside hardships and monetary crises increased the demand for these services. In normal times too people happily buy this service. You won't get a better example (coaching classes come a poor second) of perennial demand.

The customer blames himself & never the service provider, if results are not as expected

Which marketing person will not want such customers? Marketing theory, in this case, is made to stand upside down, with sellers having no accountability whatsoever.

Do I see derision on your face & serious doubt if such a career could ever exist? I too felt the same, initially - - until I saw what the purohit who comes into all our homes to perform marriages and hundreds of other religious rituals, starting from the innocuous "satyanarayan ka paath", does. He happily goes about his duties in Sanskrit, a language which most of us do not understand. We look up to him for spiritual guidance and hence he can never go wrong. We never ask him why we lost that profitable tender even though a massive pooja to propitiate the evil spirits was carried out as per his advice. We are equally enthusiastic to perform the next pooja on his recommendations to keep the appropriate "planets" happy. The guy has taken over this job (like family doctors, we all have our family-purohits) from his father and his son seems destined to take over and be the RSP (Religious Service Provider) to your children.

I have never seen such complete "hold" that any marketer has had over his clients. Thank God the RSPs don't have a trade union of their own and none of them seem to have studied business management to exploit these inherent advantages in their profession. If someone can channelise these services professionally and efficiently, we are sure to see the birth of the next "super-industry" after IT.

1 comment:

Darshan Chande said...

That's a brilliant post! Humorous and suspense packed! Very rightly observed it as a "super profession". Indeed!